WWE RAW Shaqwind: Big Show Gets Posterized!

After a monumental Night of Champions, RAW goes live with the arrival of WWE Hall of Famer Jerry “The King” Lawler to introduce the night’s Guest Host: the newest Cleveland Cavalier, Shaquille O’Neal!

The Diesel came out firing with the announcement that there would be a Five-Man Beat The Clock Challenge to determine the No.1 Contender for the WWE Championship at Summerslam. The five men were: Triple H, MVP, Jack Swagger, Mark Henry and John Cena! As Shaq got the crowd ready, Chris Jericho came down to interrupt the insanity that Shaq was causing.

Jericho immediately came out and started insulting the night's guest host until Shaq planted a smooch on Jericho’s forehead. As Shaq toyed with one half of the Unified Tag Team Champions, Jericho made it clear that he had once again been disrespected, and Shaq better take notice.

As Shaq goaded a fight, Jericho called out his tag team partner: The Big Show. Sporting the old school Undertaker goatee, Show made his way to the ring and stared, literally, eye-to-eye with the 15-Time NBA All Star.

Show picked up where Jericho left off before telling him to get out of the ring. Shaq responded by challenging Big Show to a match. Big Show did everything in his power to back out of the challenge, but Shaq had other plans for the Tag Champions in the form of Cryme Tyme. As Jericho and Show left the ring, Shaq made it known that the match will have a special enforcer: himself.

Following chants of “Christina” from the DC crowd, we are informed that the Beat The Clock Challenge was starting next!

Beat The Clock Challenge

Mark Henry vs. Carlito

Carlito played the role of spoiler by staying outside the ring to avoid conflict with the World’s Strongest Man, but it didn't take long for the physicality to begin as Henry caught a flying Carlito and tossed him back into the ring. Carlito continued to avoid confrontation with Henry, but managed to get a brief advantage.

Unfortunately, it is brief as he met a brick wall not once but twice.

Henry focused on the clock before missing the Big Splash. Carlito went on the offensive after the miss with a springboard dropkick. Henry fought out of a sleeper hold, but Carlito gunned for the sleeper again. The World's Strongest Man started fading, but managed to strengthen his way out of the hold again.

Carlito showed his dumb side by going for the Backstabber, and Henry took him down with the World’s Strongest Slam to pick up the win and set the time at 6:49.

Following a rewind from the previous night’s Divas' Championship Match, and a look at the Washington Redskins in attendance, we are graced with some smoking hot Divas.

Mickie James, Gail Kim, and Kelly Kelly vs. Beth Phoenix, Rosa Mendes, and Alicia Fox

Beth and Gail started the physicality with Phoenix showing her strength and Kim showing her agility. Kim showed her agility by locking in a Japanese surfboard, but thanks to Rosa’s distraction, Beth was able to get control of the match as she tagged in Alicia Fox. Kim managed to slip out of Alicia’s grasp before tagging in the new Divas Champion.

Mickie went on the assault early with a reverse neck-breaker and flying head scissors. Kim returned into the ring with a blind tag to deliver a missile dropkick to ensure the victory for Team Mickie. As a fuming Phoenix looked on, Michael Cole was in the back.

Shaq was there having some fun with Hornswoggle before Michael Cole busted out “Shaq-alicious,” forcing the boss for the night to leave the office shaking his head.

Beat The Clock Challenge: Time to Beat: 6:49

MVP vs. Chris Masters

The crowd was still in shock at the return of The Masterpiece as the bell rings and the time began to drop down. MVP went for a quick roll-up followed by a samba take-down, but Masters showed no ring rust as he gunned for the Master Lock but settled for a devastating clothesline. MVP got some offense going with a kneeling clothesline before countering the Master Lock once again.

On the outside, Masters used his intelligence to keep MVP from getting back in the ring, and after locking in the Master Lock and forcing a double count-out, and because of the double count-out, the time to beat was still 6:49, held by Mark Henry.

Brian Kendrick vs. Kofi Kingston

Kendrick was attempting to berate Lawler for last week’s embarrassing loss, but he didn’t realize that the bell had rung, and as he turns around to get dropped with Trouble in Paradise. Kofi picked up his easiest, and undeniably quickest, victory.

In the back, Triple H was ambushed by Ted DiBiase on his way to the ring to face Cody Rhodes.

 

Beat The Clock Challenge: Time to Beat: Mark Henry with 6:49

Cody Rhodes vs. Triple H

Rhodes immediately gunned for the injured left leg of Triple H, but The Game showed what he was made of by not backing down from a fight. The Game applied a headlock take-over as the clock continued to count down. Rhodes finally got his big break as he took several shots at the injured leg, including wrapping it around the steel post twice.

Back in the ring, Rhodes turned his focus and his attack on the injured left leg of Triple H. With about three minutes left in the match, the gameplan of Legacy began to take its toll as the clock dropped to 2:30, but Triple H started to fight back once again.

As Triple H went for the Pedigree, Rhodes delivered a chop block before locking in the Figure Four Leglock. The Game managed to break out of the submission and delivers a clothesline with about 60 Seconds left in the match. Triple H delivered the Spine-buster. Thanks to Ted DiBiase, too much time was wasted as he delivered the Pedigree with one second left on the clock. Therefore, Mark Henry continued to have the time to beat.

In the back, Shaq was playing Scrabble to Santino when he took a moment to give some last minute pep talk with Cryme Tyme before Santino busted out a freestyle rap. It didn’t take long for him to be sent packing by the CTShaqC.

Hornswoggle vs. Chavo Guerrero

Before the bell, Lillian informed Chavo that he had to face Hornswoggle…blindfolded. As the bell rang, Chavo felt around, trying to find the sneakiest Leprechaun. After diving out of the ring, Chavo got an advantage…for a brief moment. After a close encounter with the referee, Hornswoggle got control with the Bullpuppy.

Chavo used a sneak peek to deliver a dropkick, but instead of going for the cover, he decided to go for the Frog Splash. Bear in mind he’s blind as a bat right now. As Chavo prepared to fly, Hornswoggle was just waiting on the outside. Hornswoggle delivered the Tadpole Splash to pick up his fourth victory over the Mexican Warrior.

As Randy Orton prepared to enter the arena, Jack Swagger came in to inform Orton that even though Triple H didn’t beat the clock, he planned on doing just that. As Orton looked back over, he stared eye-to-eye with the man he could possibly be facing at Summerslam: Mark Henry.

Beat The Clock Challenge: Time to Beat: 6:49 by Mark Henry

Jack Swagger vs. Evan Bourne

The bell rang, and the clock began counting down as Bourne ducked any take-down chances from Swagger. Swagger showed his strength, but Bourne showed off his agility with a head scissors take-down. Swagger continued the pressure by slamming Bourne hard to the ground. Swagger then locked in a Key Lock to keep the Aerial Maestro grounded.

Bourne started fighting back with a kick in the corner, but Swagger bounced back with a toss followed by the Sooner Splash. Swagger then prepared for the Swagger Bomb, but opts to inflict more damage on Bourne instead.

As Swagger went for the Swagger Bomb, Bourne countered into a modified roll up to pull off the unthinkable. Bourne pinned Swagger to keep Swagger out of the WWE Championship Match at SummerSlam. As Swagger looked on in disbelief, we learned that John Cena would have to face an old foe in order to Beat The Clock and advance to Summerslam to face Orton: The Miz.

Before the final match, Cole and King took a look back at the screw job delivered by Cody Rhodes and Ted DiBiase to Triple H. Following the footage, Triple H saw the error of his ways…in the form of Legacy. He then issued a challenge to Rhodes and DiBiase for next week’s RAW. With that, the Miz made his way down to the ring for yet another encounter with John Cena.

Miz came out trash talking the fans of Washington, DC. From the Wizards to the Redskins, no one was safe from the comments and spewing of The Miz.

 

Beat The Clock Challenge: Time to Beat: Mark Henry’s 6:49

The Miz vs. John Cena

As the show returned, Randy Orton had made his way to the ring for a “closer” look at the last Beat The Clock Match. Following a few poses, the Chain Gang General made his way to the ring to a raucous DC Crowd.

The bell rang and the clock, as well as Miz’s unbeatable strategy, officially began. The Miz started out by slipping out of the ring, but his plan hits a snag as he realized that in order for his plan to work, he had to get back in the ring. Back in the ring, Cena went on the assault, but as Miz tried to slip out, Cena was one step ahead as he dropped him with a clothesline.

Miz finally got on the offensive with a reverse chinlock as the WWE Champion looked on. Miz sent Cena to the outside and rammed him into the steps to continue the pressure on Cena as the clock drops to 3:20. Cena barely made the ref’s count. Miz locked in the ropes, but trouble only got started as Cena locked in the STF.

Miz had no choice but to tap out, and Cena won the Beat The Clock Challenge with 2:22 to spare. After a brief stare-down between the two, Cena celebrated with the Universe.

In the back, Shaq was making his way to the ring for arguably the “biggest” main event in RAW’s history.

Before the bell, we were informed that after tonight’s huge guest host, we would have to settle for Jeremy Piven of Entourage and the new movie, “The Goods.” With that, Shaq made his way to the ring for the main event.

The Big Show and Chris Jericho vs. Cryme Tyme

Jericho began by talking more smack to Shaq before getting physical with JTG. JTG delivered the Payday to Jericho, but only got a two-count for his troubles. After a cheap shot, Jericho was able to get control and tag in his partner, the World’s Largest Pile of Crap, Big Show.

Show came in and locked in the Full Nelson, all while taunting and smirking at Shaq. JTG tried to fight back, but after a devastating Spear, he was sent to the outside. Show continued his dominance by slapping JTG back into the ring. Jericho came in, and after striking a pose in front of Shaq, continued to deliver punishment to the shorter member of CTShaqC.

JTG started fighting back with the Brooklyn Neckdrop before tagging in Shad, with some help from Shaq. Shad came in like a house of fire. Following the Moneymaker Elbow Drop, Shad fought out of the Walls and tagged in JTG to hit the CT Neckdrop. Show came in and decimated both members of Cryme Tyme.

After trash talking the host, Show then called him in for a fight. Shaq wasted no time in jumping in to save his buddies.

After both men locked in chokeholds to prepare for the choke slam, Cryme Tyme played equalizer with kicks to the gut before Shaq delivered the Shaq Diesel that sent Show tumbling to the outside! As Cryme Tyme celebrated with Shaq, an stunned Show looks on with Christina Jericho as RAW went off the air with Diesel giving chase to a sprinting Big Show.