Sports Movies That Just Don't Work

As a sports fan, I enjoy putting on my sweatpants, popping some popcorn and cozying up on my couch to watch a sports movie—unless, of course, it ends up being garbage.

While a number of fantastic sports films remind fans of the drama of athletics, others are, well, just miserable.

And because I take my sports movies pretty darn seriously, here are some that don't make very much sense. I'm sure you'll agree.

BASEketball

I'll tell you one thing: This movie was hilarious and inspiring to me when I first saw it back in middle school.

But after watching BASEketball a few more times since then, I wonder why it was made in the first place.

OK, so a few stoner dudes thought combining two sports would make for a fun backyard game. That's pretty believable.

But D-level acting and corny jokes made this movie a strikeout or an air ball—depending on which sport you want to go with.

The Fan

Let me get this straight.

An obsessed fan of a team and a player thinks that, by engaging in several illegal activities—including kidnapping and murder—he can help said player break out of a slump.

When the player doesn't appreciate the fan's willingness to help, the psychopath supporter turns on the player and bribes him—or else.

It all ends the way you probably think it does.

The Fan is predictable, improbable and, well, brutal. And Robert De Niro and Wesley Snipes somehow star in it.

Air Bud

One of the go-to plot devices in sports movies is to incorporate an animal. Remember MVP: Most Valuable Primate?

While there are probably more than a few of you who, for some reason unbeknownst to me, enjoyed the movie Air Bud, I'm going to burst your bubble by adding it to this list.

It is a film about a dog who stars as a basketball player. Forget the high school jock who is a star athlete—someone thought it was time to make it a pup.

As awful as Air Bud was, it created multiple spinoffs, such as Air Bud: Golden Receiver and Air Bud: World Pup.

Celtic Pride

I really wanted to like Celtic Pride.

One would think a movie starring Dan Aykroyd, Daniel Stern and Damon Wayans would provide a bunch of laughs and, you know, an actual plot.

Too bad it didn't have much of either.

I want to know who signed off on B-level writing and an entire story about two deranged fans kidnapping an opposing team's best player?

Could this happen in real life? Ask yourself that before wondering if the entire purpose of this movie was to tease sports fans.

Rollerball

Rollerball is a remake of an original film—which was decent, I guess—but the new version features awful acting and even worse scenes.

For those who remember the movie Running Man, Rollerball is basically cut from the same mold. Its creators seemed to hope that adding extreme action and off-the-wall drama would turn an imaginary activity into cinematic gold.

Some of the scenes are exciting, but does that mean it was worthy of filming? Not so much.

Caddyshack II

Now, before you start ranting about the inclusion of this movie, I must say that the original Caddyshack is one of my favorite movies of all time.

But Caddyshack II—even if the entire cast back—is a triple bogey.

The plot revolves around preventing these new, blue-blooded millionaires from joining the exclusive country club.

By the end of the movie, it happens anyway.

Oh, was that a spoiler? You're welcome. Now, you don't have to sit through the entire thing.

Any Given Sunday

There isn't a sports fan out there who doesn't like hard-hitting action and lots of drama, but the movie Any Given Sunday goes to such extremes that it's laughable.

Yes, this movie features some memorable moments (I bet you all cringed when that dude's eye popped out), but besides a couple of good scenes, it has to go down as one of the biggest disappointments in sports movie history.

It was unrealistic, and it used every cliche about athletes one can think of. For that, we should all be upset.

Bull Durham

Can someone tell me why Kevin Costner's character, Crash Davis, had to be a minor league baseball player rather than a normal guy trying to make it in New York City?

In fitting Costner fashion, the movie Bull Durham tiptoes the line between sports comedy and romantic comedy, tricking guys everywhere into thinking this flick is a good one to watch on a rainy day.

That may be true, but not unless your girlfriend is cuddled up next to you while you fall asleep and she eats an entire pint of ice cream.

One piece of advice: If you want to sell a film in the sports genre, make sure the actors know how to play the sport. These guys don't pass the test.

Jerry Maguire

Want to know why Jerry Maguire made no sense? Because, contrary to popular belief, it is not a sports movie.

Sure, studio execs want you to think this film, which features Tom Cruise as a powerful sports agent hoping to maintain a client base of star athletes, appeals to the male demographic.

Even though it has a few cameos from real-life athletes, the bottom line is this: Jerry Maguire is a romantic comedy. Its sports theme is used as a ploy by girls everywhere to make their guys watch it.

They would have been better off filming a second edition of When Harry Met Sally.

Teen Wolf

Much like a few other movies I've mentioned already, I'm not so sure Teen Wolf can technically be labeled a sports flick, right?

I mean, sure, it's about a high school kid who seemingly rubs too much Rogaine all over his adolescent body and gains the title of BMOC by becoming a star hoops player, but this is a teen comedy more than anything else.

Don't get me wrong; the "Surfin' USA" scene is incredible. But the drama and relationship stuff the kid deals with are just parts of the high school experience—he didn't need to be basketball player too.

Matilda

If you need to know how many drugs people did in the '70s, the movie Matilda might give you a solid idea.

Yes, someone in this world thought filming a robotic kangaroo boxing would be a good idea. No, it didn't end up working out as well as they probably had hoped it would.

I know, it's shocking that people didn't rush to the turnstiles to see a movie that features a kangaroo costume that is as terrifying as anything I've ever seen.

The Fish That Saved Pittsburgh

For those of you who didn't think the aforementioned Matilda was absurd enough, maybe The Fish That Saved Pittsburgh is more your style.

After watching a number of previews and reading a bunch of synopses, I can honestly say this movie makes zero sense.

Sure, it is based on sports and has Dr. J in it, but that doesn't make it a sports movie, does it?

The crazy dance moves are just about the only thing this film has going for it. They are great to bust a move to if you're "feeling a little funky."