"It was the best of times, it was the worst of times,
it was the age of wisdom, it was the age of foolishness,
it was the epoch of belief, it was the epoch of incredulity,
it was the season of Light, it was the season of Darkness,
it was the spring of hope, it was the winter of despair,
we had everything before us, we had nothing before us,"
Well, I think Dickens just about explained it well when he wrote about the two teams that split Los Angeles in half - yes folks, the Los Angeles Lakers and the Los Angeles Clippers. They didn't teach you that in English Literature 101?
Do you find yourself at this moment figuring out which team applies to which half of each phrase? Let's try an experiment, read each line and apply a team to each half of each phrase. Let's face it, we all know the second half of each of the phrases applies to the Clippers.
We know the statistics and the history of both teams. We know all there is to know to pick the winning team. So, why is nearly half the city rooting for the losing Clippers?
Why root for the losing team with hardly any superstar players? Why go to a game at an arena where the biggest star you'll see is Billy Crystal? Why wear a white a red jersey when you can wear yellow and purple?
I'd like to think that people from way back in history naturally sided with David as he attempted to slay the mighty giant. Maybe we like the underdogs, the beaten, the hungry, and downtrotten.
Maybe we merely associate with the team that can entertain the underdogs, the beaten, the hungry, and the downtrotten. It is cheaper to buy Clippers tickets than Lakers tickets, right? For financial reasons?
OK, that argument doesn't work for me either. Could it be possible that they were all Laker fans at one time and have easily transitioned over to the Clippers because they have learned the one valuable lesson that all sports fan must learn: How to hate a team with extreme prejudice.
Yes, I said "must learn." This is a piece of advise all parents must pass on to their child. Pick a team to love, pick a team to hate, and do each to the best of your ability. Only then can you be a real sports fan.
Whatever team it is you have picked to love and how it came about doesn't matter, as long as you know which team you absolutely hate and how it came about. That is what really matters.
I know exactly when I first started hating the Lakers and all their great players. As for the Clippers, they could be a team filled with girl scouts and little old ladies and I would cheer them on happily. Note to girlscouts: "pick up the biggest damn rock you can find and slay away".