The NFL Sunday Ticket Tango: Greed Is Good

"Greed is good." Gordon Gekko in Oliver Stone's Wall Street; still a motto in many parts of the land.

In these tough economic times, one would think businesses based on customers' leisure time habits would cater their products to retain their customer base.

Not so with the NFL and its long time partner DIRECTV.  The NFL Sunday Ticket is around a salty $270 bucks. To get the high definition DIRECTV, it's another $10 a month on your bill.

But the big kick in the butt is some grotesque feature called Super Fan, which must be bought for another Benjamin to be able to view NFL games in high definition.

If one doesn't fall for Super Fan, and has HD definition DIRECTV and the Sunday ticket, my understanding is that your regular satellite channels carrying NFL games will be as scrambled as Lindsay Lohan's brains after morning mojito No. 5.

Doesn't the NFL and DIRECTV make enough money from fans?

The NFL is talking tough economic times all the while pushing $10,000 personal seat licenses and $10 beers. Roger Goodell rolled back his raise; fear not—me thinks he is getting by—and Washington Redskin Danny Snyder had 15 low level staffers thrown in the muddy Potomac, but I suspect those are just NFL flares fired to warn the Players Association the next contract won't be a piece of ice cream cake.

On Goodell's part anyway, Danny Snyder might just get his kicks by acting like a poor Potomac version of bullying Napoleon on a bad day. No scratch that Napoleon was much better at strategy and picking personnel then Snyder will ever be.

And Bonaparte won some big ball games a few times.

But back to DIRECTV and the NFL Gods. Why the extra costs at a time when most customers are cutting costs? Why add to the burden when many NFL fans are trying to lighten their economic load?

The NFL made more then many third world countries last year. The NFL is more stable than Honduras. The owners are billionaires, the players millionaires, and most of their play pens were paid for by tax payers, so why turn the screws on fans with vile inventions like the hideous Super Fan?

The NFL and DIRECTV recently signed a lucrative extension until the year 2014. Unless the Mayans are right and the world ends in fire, ice and space rock spice on the Winter Solstice of 2012, they both will make a bundle of bucks on that deal.

How much is enough?

After 2014, if the NFL doesn't leverage its NFL Network into a pay-per-view package with a $99 Super Bowl Pay-Per-View Special by then, DIRECTV will continue with its coverage.

But by 2014, the Oakland Raiders and Washington Redskins will likely have had seven new head coaches a piece and the Bengals will still be getting arrested. Al Davis will be confined in a cage like mad Ezra Pound, the Rams will be back in La La Land, and Michael Jackson's funeral games, hopefully, will have finally ended. Jimmy Buffett will be singing fins, fins, fins brought to you via Viagra from a walker at halftime of Fish games. Jessica and Jerry will have both dumped Tony and TO will still be unhappy somewhere. Brett Favre will be considering a come back. Tom Brady will have bad knees and a worse divorce. Peyton Manning will be winding up his career unhappily in Carolina and on cheap Burger King commercials chasing that creepy King around a french fried filled football field.

And of course all NFL quarterbacks will be protected in the pocket by armed Blackwater guards in expensive shades and carrying orders to kneecap any defender that gets within five yards of the perfumed Princes of the pocket.

Things change, but fans are the constant that keeps the massive economic wheels of the NFL spinning along.

Still they keep churning out ways to grind out more dollars. The obscenity that is the Personal Seat License, perhaps the single worse invention ever in sports, outrageous game day prices and parking, tax payer built palaces, $25 hats, $100 jerseys, $10 beers, so why do they have grab an extra Benjamin to watch games in HD?

At long last have they shame? Can the beast's appetites never be abated? Must it feed, feed, feed and want more, more, more?  

Even Grendel was never this greedy. But that old boy had issues and could not beat the Vikings. The NFL is thriving, driving, and doesn't live, insane and lonely, in a cave with its mean Monster Momma.

Don't get me wrong; I love the Sunday Ticket. It's one of the world's greatest inventions, right up there with beer in a 30 pack, the Supermodel, the 46 Defense, the wheel, fire, free Internet porn, and the written word.

All things the Founding Fathers, but particularly the Buddy Ryan look alike Benjamin Franklin, loved or would have loved if he lived a bit longer.

The NFL and DIRECTV should give something back to the fans or at the very least not give something high, hard, and unwanted to the fans.

Throw the fans a bone baby, roll back the beast, pin back the price, and slay the Superfan.