Not So Nice Tips for Your 2009 Fantasy Football Draft

Let’s get this straight.

I don’t condone bad sportsmanship or lowly deeds. If you asked anyone who knew me, they’d probably say I’m a pretty nice guy.

But, if you’re evil, immoral, twisted, jaded, or just really want to have an edge in your fantasy football draft, here are some not-so-nice tips—some more dastardly than others.

Enjoy!

Tip No. 1: The Fake Cheat Sheet

Create fake cheat sheets weeks before the draft, complete with false rankings.

You can even get creative and circle guys you have no interest in with a huge “SLEEPER” tag beneath it. It shouldn’t be totally illogical though; keep it somewhat believable.

Make excuses to visit other team owners and cleverly leave the false sheet in their house or car, as if it slipped from your magazine. It always helps when someone thinks they know what you’re thinking.

Tip No. 2: The Bartender

Insist on taking team owners in your league out the night before the draft. Show your “generosity” by buying ample rounds while you nurse your own drink.

Not only will you find out some useful information as lips loosen and people start to talk, but a rough next day for the other teams is an advantage for you.

Tip No. 3: The Wing Dinger

Find the hottest, messiest, tastiest wings around and bring loads of them to your draft. You’ll also be bringing several cases of ice-cold beer.

If done right, this combination will have teams drafting their deep sleepers in the middle rounds. The best part, you look like the nice guy who brought food.

Tip No. 4: The New Guy

Quickly befriend the new guy in your league who doesn’t know a lot about fantasy football. Offer to help him with his drafting, and then proceed to help yourself by guiding him in a direction that will benefit your team, not his.

Tip No. 5: The Magazine Moocher

There’s always one team that shows up late, carrying only a pen, a piece of paper, and an eye for one of your magazines.

Before your draft, take the cover off one of last season’s fantasy football magazines (I hope you kept them) and crazy glue the cover of this year’s publication.

When they ask to borrow one of your magazines, smile and hand it over.

WARNING—If you use this trick, make sure the team owners are not bigger than you.

Tip No. 6: The Backup Artist

Instead of spending middle picks on mediocre talent, use them to grab everyone else’s handcuff players. Not only can these players break out if injuries occur, but you’ll be weakening other teams significantly should their starting player get hurt.

Plus, you could be holding several bargaining chips come midseason. 

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