Reader Wiffle Ball: The Bill & Ted Offer

For those who haven’t checked out the JoeSportsFan Show podcast on iTunes (or downloaded via mp3), one of the primary segments of the show each week is something we call “Wiffle Ball” in honor, not only of arguably the greatest outdoor rec game ever made, but also a segment of the same name on Jason Major’s original Krimilian Radio show from several years back.

During the JoeSportsFan Show version of Wiffle Ball, we invite some prominent bloggers/writers on and toss out five questions that vary from the obscure to the more obscure. Today we throw out an extended Wiffle Ball question and invite the JSF faithful to join in and offer up their answers via the comments section, with the best answers being discussed on next week’s podcast.

The Question

You walk up the street to the neighborhood Circle K to grab a soda and some nacho cheese/pretzel Combos and suddenly out of the sky drops a magical time-traveling phone booth carrying Bill S. Preston Esq, Ted “Theodore” Logan and their buddy Rufus who looks hauntingly like the late George Carlin.

Having completely dominated their San Dimas High School history presentation, Bill and Ted offer up the services of the phone booth for you to take a trip back in time. Only rather than seek out historical figures such as Socrates and Napolean, they’re offering it up so that you can go back to observe one behind the scenes practice session of any team or player in the history of sports. Apparently they watched “Kobe: Doin Work” last week on ESPN while taking a break from a Wyld Stallions jam session and weren’t satisfied that Spike Lee captured a truly natural portrait of an elite athlete at work.

With Bill and Ted’s offer on the table, what practice are you going to see?###MORE###

Much like the time Marty McFly stopped by the house and offered an opportunity to see one epic sporting event live, the possibilities are enough to make a sports fan’s head explode. With literally thousands of players, teams and scenarios that would be intriguing to witness unfiltered, without the cameras rolling or the media lurking, the decision is one that could go in variety of directions.

Do you go with the option of picking out the biggest stars or the greatest teams so you can just kick back and marvel the best of the best? 

Do you go the route of seeing a practice that you think would have been an utter trainwreck to watch in person? Say for example, Mike Martz’s last few years as the Rams head coach, where you could see a coach try to run an organized practice when, not only had the team essentially abandoned him, but the coach was utterly consumed with paranoia that anyone and everyone was out to get him.

Do you go with the practice that you think would entertain you from a comedy standpoint?  Like perhaps any that included drills being run by a pissed-off Bobby Knight or that prominently featured Gheorge Muresan attempting to run wind sprints.

The choices are limitless, here are ours:

Bacott’s choice - Early 90’s Chicago Bulls practice
While checking out a day at spring training with these guys would be hard to pass up, I would have to go with an option that offered up multiple layers of intrigue and one dominant presence to fixate on. This led to my selection of the early 1990’s Chicago Bulls, prior to winning their first title. In addition to watching arguably the best professional athlete of all time, there are numerous other storylines to follow:

Jordan going out of his way to demolish slug teammates like Will Perdue or Stacey King, Jordan constantly ripping on role players like Craig Hodges and Cliff Levingston or making BJ Armstrong cry, observing the methods of a coach who isn’t the most powerful person on the team and knows it and of course the enjoyment of watching Bill Cartwright shoot free throws.

More than anything it would be fascinating to be able to sit in the stands and watch a player who by all accounts was amongst the most competitive and driven to ever play the game as he pushed to win his elusive first title. If watching a Bulls practice during Jordan’s prime could give even a sliver of insight into the inner workings of how an athlete of his caliber reaches and stays at the highest level it would be an extremely unique experience for an average sports fan.

Imig’s choice - Muhammed Ali  (Rumble in the Jungle)
There wasn’t a more compelling or controversial sports personality in the 60s and 70s than Muhammad Ali. When your nickname is “The Greatest” and your birth name is as cool as Cassius Clay, it figures that you’re a dominant boxing champion. I would love to go back in time and see Ali’s training regiment prior to his first win over Sonny Liston (then known as Cassius Clay) and/or the “Rumble in the Jungle”.

Growing up, the closest I got to see a boxer plan and prepare for a classic title fight was Rocky Balboa on film and Little Mac on Nintendo. Getting the chance to see Ali train in the days and weeks leading up to the bout would be awesome. Aside from witnessing his physical interactions up close, the guy was charismatic and innovative. He changed the way mainstream athletes interacted with the media and by default, the fans. Package it all up and you’ve got an unforgettable experience. I’ll cast my vote for Ali in the days and weeks leading up to the Rumble in the Jungle. I hear Zaire is a beautiful place.

Sebek’s choice - Early 80’s Edmonton Oilers
Edmonton Oilers, in the early 80s - I’ll be forever embarrassed to pick a Canadian sports team, but this team was so dominant and comprised of so many young, future Hall of Famers. During Wayne Gretzky’s tenure with the Oilers, he won four Cups and was surrounded by future greats such as Mark Messier, Glenn Anderson, Jari Kurri, defenseman Paul Coffey, and goaltender Grant Fuhr. It would have been very gratifying to watch them in a controlled environment like practice, knowing that they were the best players and best team in the world.

We’re interested to read your take on how to maximize Bill and Ted’s offer as there are undoubtedly angles that we didn’t consider. Let us know in the comments section and, as noted above, we will discuss some of the better suggestions on next week’s JoeSportsFan Show.

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