25 Classic Jose Mourinho Quotes
Love him or hate him, deep down the majority of English football fans will admit to holding an admiration for Jose Mourinho.
Despite the conveyed arrogance in press conferences, attempts to manipulate the opposition, or even outright mind games, the Portuguese tactician is the modern master of management and will no doubt be remembered for many years to come.
The media love him, and it's not just for his entertainment value. Apart from the previous campaign's disaster with Real Madrid, Mourinho had won at least one trophy in all of his 11 seasons as a manager—an incredible feat.
Now back at Chelsea for a second spell, the 50-year-old has endured a solid start to life as the Blues boss, and to celebrate, we've managed to dig out some of his most famous quotes.
With all the press conferences and interviews he's ever taken part in, believe us when we say it was difficult to narrow it down to just 25.
Of course, you must remember this is not a ranking, but a mere anthology of the eccentric coach's most memorable quotes.
25. On Luis Garcia's "Ghost Goal"
"I felt the power of Anfield, it was magnificent. I felt it didn’t interfere with my players but maybe it interfered with other people and maybe it interfered with the result. You should ask the linesman why he gave a goal. Because, to give a goal, the ball must be 100 per cent in and he must be 100 per cent sure that the ball is in."
Mourinho indicates his lack of faith in the linesman's decision to allow Liverpool forward Luis Garcia’s goal to stand. The goal eventually puts Chelsea out of the Champions League semi-finals in May 2005, with the Reds going on to win the trophy.
Source: Daily Mail
24. Identifying the Relationship Between Iker Casillas and the Spanish Press
"As you Spanish are world champions, your friends in the press protect you ... like the goalkeeper."
Mourinho aims a double dig at both the Spanish press and out-of-favour goalkeeper Iker Casillas, suggesting the media protect the Spanish players at Real Madrid.
Source: The Telegraph
23. Never Mind the Players on the Field, Mourinho's Hair Will Help Chelsea Win
22. 'Agent' Mourinho Teases Manchester United About Cristiano Ronaldo
"I know Ronaldo loves Manchester United and I know he loves the Premier League but I think he is going to stay. It’s just a feeling, I’ve had no contact, nothing like that — it’s just a feeling."
Just like The Black Eyed Peas, Mourinho has "got a feeling." Sadly, it's not quite the same as the American group, with the Portuguese coach hinting that compatriot Cristiano Ronaldo will stay with Real Madrid.
Source: The Mirror
21. Mourinho Open to Any Premier League Club...Apart from Liverpool
"Manchester United would be a great challenge for me. But Liverpool is not the club for me. I know why, but I cannot tell you. Tottenham, Everton... Arsenal maybe. These are all fine clubs with very good managers. You can dream of what happens in one, two, three or four years. Who knows? I cannot say, but I think you have an idea of what I think about."
It seems Mourinho is not one to forget a feud, with the 50-year-old stating in 2010 he would consider joining any of the top six clubs—except for Liverpool. As we know, he did eventually join Chelsea again, but, well, you get the point.
20. The Messi-Ronaldo Duel Has Got Mourinho Confused
"I don't want to be radical and say if he or someone else is the best, I do not want to go there. We are talking about Messi and Cristiano, two unique players. But this season, Cristiano has been better and a difference-maker."
Despite initially refusing to compare the world's two greatest players, Mourinho decides to, er, compare the world's two greatest players seconds later.
Source: ESPN FC
19. He May Be Special, but He's Modest Enough to Admit He's No Wizard
"Look, I'm a coach, I'm not Harry Potter. He is magical, but in reality there is no magic. Magic is fiction and football is real."
Mourinho accepts he is unable to produce magic via a magic wand and informs us all that Harry Potter is indeed not real. Thanks, Jose. Couldn't have sussed that one without you.
Source: The Score
18. Mourinho Angry as Spurs Park a Bus in Front of the Goal at Stamford Bridge
“They didn't play football. One thing is defend well, but try to win the game and play some football. Another thing is to defend, and defend and defend and kick the ball away, fall down, wait for the medical department. I would have been frustrated if I had been a supporter who paid £50 to watch this game because Spurs came to defend.”
Mourinho went on to say that Spurs parked a bus in front of the goal, and from what he said above, it seems to go hand-in-hand, doesn't it?
17. Mourinho Claims to Be Unaware of a Well-Known English Word
"If I am hated at Barcelona, it is their problem but not mine. Fear is not a word in my football dictionary."
This quote pretty much sums up Mourinho, who doesn't let any sign of weakness show to his rivals. Given the history between him and Barcelona, it's hard to believe that he used to work there as a translator. Bridges were well and truly burnt after his Real Madrid stint.
16. Using Fruit to Explain His Caution with Youth Players
"Young players are a little bit like melons. Only when you open and taste the melon are you 100 per cent. Sometimes you have beautiful melons but they don’t taste very good and some other melons are a bit ugly and when you open them, the taste is fantastic! One thing is youth football, one thing is professional football. The bridge is a difficult one to cross and they have to play with us and train with us for us to taste the melon. For example, Scott Sinclair, the way he played against Arsenal and Man United. We know the melon we have."
Turns out Jose Mourinho's knowledge isn't limited to just football. Melons seem to intrigue the former Porto coach, and before you say it, that's not what we mean. We mean actual melons.
Source: The Metro
15. Mourinho Quashes Wenger Rift Rumours, Then Adds Fuel to the Fire
"At the end of the day, I respect him a lot and I have the feeling that he is the same in relation to me. I wouldn't bet for one single problem between us. Because of my mentality, I would feel strange [not winning trophies]. But you can do very good work for a club without winning lots of trophies, you can."
You just couldn't resist one slightly backhanded trophy-related compliment there, could you Jose?
Source: The Guardian
14: Mourinho Attempts to Calm Storm After 'Dog-Gate'
"My wife is in Portugal with the dog. The dog is with my wife so the city of London is safe, the big threat is away."
Mourinho mocks the police in a press conference, who arrested and cautioned the manager over a row involving his Yorkshire Terrier's lack of a "pet passport."
13. Aiming a Swipe at Former Foe Rafa Benitez
"I don't want to win the Europa League. It would be a big disappointment for me. I don't want my players to feel the Europa League is our competition."
Even all these years after Rafa Benitez and Jose Mourinho first locked horns, the constant battle to undermine one another continues.
Source: Daily Mail
12. The Ever-so-Modest Mourinho Compares Himself to George Clooney
"If they made a film of my life, I think they should get George Clooney to play me. He's a fantastic actor and my wife thinks he would be ideal."
Not shy about his looks, is he?
11. Undermining Barcelona, Part 2
"We have played against them four matches in two seasons. (When it was) 11 against 11 they never beat us. That is the reality."
After a 1-1 draw at the Nou Camp in 2006 which sent Barcelona through to the Champions League quarter-finals 3-2 on aggregate, Mourinho questions Barcelona's ability without the help of the referee.
Source: The Independent
10. Describing How a Role Reversal Would Cripple Chelsea
"If Roman Abramovich helped me out in training we would be bottom of the league and if I had to work in his world of big business, we would be bankrupt!"
Mourinho suggests that Roman Abramovich interfering with team selection would be a disaster, but subtly engineers a role reversal to make it seem like less of a criticism. Good one, Jose.
Source: Daily Mail
9. Chelsea, I Know It Didn't Work out Before But, Will You Marry Me Again?
"Now we are back together and we are getting together at a great moment for us both, so I think we are ready to marry again and be happy and successful. I had to prepare myself not to be too emotional but, obviously, I am very happy. I love it here."
Jose Mourinho expresses his delight at returning to Stamford Bridge, but then goes a little bit off topic, talking about marriage with the club. What would his wife say?
Source: Daily Mail
8. Mourinho Attempts to Silence the English Press
"I don’t regret it … I have a lot of respect for Liverpool fans and what I did, the sign of silence – ‘shut your mouth’ – was not for them, it was for the English press."
Mourinho defended putting a finger to his lips by instead aiming it at the British press, although it really did seem like it was aimed at The Kop. Make of it what you will, but he was sent to the stands as a result.
Source: Sky News
7. Red, Red Wine
"After the game, after the press conference, we were together in my office. The wine we were drinking was very bad and he was complaining. When we go to Old Trafford it's my birthday and I will go with a beautiful bottle of Portuguese wine."
Mourinho recalls a time when football took a back burner with himself and Sir Alex Ferguson, in favour of sharing a good old bottle of Portuguese red wine. Isn't football a strange game?
Source: BBC Sport
6. Mind Games, Featuring Arsene Wenger, Part 1
"Some clubs are treated as devils, some are treated as angels. I don’t think we are so ugly that we should be seen as the devil and I don’t think Arsene Wenger and David Dein are so beautiful that they should be viewed as angels."
During his first reign at Stamford Bridge, Mourinho quickly gained a reputation for mind games in the build-up to big matches. This was just one of his taunts to Arsenal and their boss, Arsene Wenger.
5. Using Eggs as a Metaphor to Criticise Roman Abramovich
"No eggs, no omelette. And it depends on the quality of the eggs. In the supermarket, you have eggs class one, class two, class three. Some are more expensive than others and some give you better omelettes. So when the class one eggs are in Waitrose and you cannot go there, you have a problem."
By now, you would have discovered two things. One: Mourinho likes to explain his life values using the wonderful world of food; and two: His relationship with Roman Abramovich did turn sour toward the end. Here, he talks about how he wasn't able to sign the quality players he asked for, placing the blame solely on the Russian's head.
Source: The Independent
4. Mourinho Cries Conspiracy After Drogba Sending off Against Barcelona
"When I saw Frank Rijkaard (then Barcelona coach) entering the referee’s dressing room I couldn’t believe it. When Didier Drogba was sent off (after half-time) I wasn’t surprised."
As well as his pre-match antics, Mourinho did not shy away during post-match interviews. After being knocked out of the Champions League by Barcelona in 2006, this outburst led to a touchline ban by UEFA.
Source: BBC Sport
3. Reigniting His Love with England, Mourinho Ponders an Exit from Spain
2. After 6 Years Away from Chelsea, Mourinho Is Finally the Happy One
"I am the happy one. I am where I want to be - I wouldn't change it for anything."
The blunt reply came when Mourinho was asked if Chelsea was his first choice, having been strongly linked with Manchester United in the past. Folks, he's no longer the "Special One" but now, "The Happy One."
Source: The Telegraph
1. His First Press Conference as Chelsea Manager
"I intend to give my best, to improve things and to create the football team in relation to my image and my football philosophy. We have top players and, sorry if I'm arrogant, we have a top manager. I'm not a defender of old or new football managers. I believe in good ones and bad ones, those that achieve success and those that don't. Please don't call me arrogant, but I'm European champion and I think I'm a special one."
In perhaps the most famous press conference in modern history, Jose Mourinho delivered a masterstroke on his arrival in England nine years ago. You can see as much in the video above, with some of the best snippets cut out.