Matt Millen has joined the WorldWide Leader in Sports to carry on the tradition started by Emmitt Smith. After a guest appearance on NBC’s coverage of the Super Bowl, Millen will do on-site coverage of Monday Night games.
Naturally, people outside of ESPN have better ideas on how to utilize the former Lions GM—from Yahoo’s Shutdown Corner:
I still say it would make more sense for Millen to work as a game analyst, though, as opposed to sitting in a studio. In the game booth, he could focus on X’s and O’s, and what’s happening in the game, where his credibility remains intact. The guy was a great football player. Not even years of strangling the life out of the Lions organization can wash that away.
But in the studio, it’s often more about the bigger picture, including things like analyzing personnel and draft picks, and Millen’s just never going to get away from his well-earned reputation as an unspeakably, horrifyingly bad general manager. To me, putting him in the studio doesn’t play to his strengths, or, perhaps more accurately, minimize his gigantic weakness.
Yes; minimize his weaknesses. Lord knows he has many of them. ###MORE###
Crap that actually came from Madden’s mouth
To properly pay tribute to the man with massive eye brows that don’t match his hair color, we look back to some of our favorite Madden quotes documented in the four years of Media Circus coverage.
If we were to actually dig up every quote, you’d be reading this column until 2010. Instead we give light once more to his under-hyped love affair with the helmet-less tight end. Conventional wisdom says Madden has been exclusively heart-heavy for Our Favre; reality says otherwise.
“You know he’s special.”
The type of special player and special person that kindles that special kind of romance.
“That’s when I knew he was my guy.”
A big, athletic football player running without a helmet on can sweep anyone off their feet, John.
“He does everything that a tight end has ever done.”
He shakes his end and has that cute little twinkle in his eye while twisting, doesn’t he?
“If I had to choose, I’d take Jason Witten and say ‘you come with me and we’ll go play. You name the game.”
Any game? Any game at all.
“This guy does it all from every position.”
But hey, the love isn’t only a love shared with Witten. A guy like Madden always has room for Thomas…
“You say look at Tom Brady, how smooth he is, how great he is, he looks like silk. But he works very, very hard at being that.”
“Give me Tom Brady and I wouldn’t need any cameras either!”
And finally, Madden explains the ultimate teammate for what he deems the ultimate sport…
“When you can give a body part to a teammate, you’re a real teammate.”
Excerpts from Stephen A. Smith’s “Chicken Soup for the Thug’s Soul”
TO PROPERLY PAY TRIBUTE TO STEPHEN A. SMITH ON HIS WAY OUT OF THE MEDIA CIRCUS, WE WILL CONTINUE TYPING IN CAPS TO STATE THE FACT OF THE MATTER, AND THE FACT OF THE MATTER IS THIS: STEPHEN A. SMITH KNOWS HOW TO ANALYZE PACMAN JONES AND HIS POSSE:
“Let me tell you something about the thug element. Thugs don’t let people mess with their money. So evidently these guys really are not thugs because if you’re a thug, you don’t let people mess with your money.”
THERE’S NO EXCUSE FOR IT, EITHER!
“The bottom line is this: there’s no excuse for it and it is inexcusable and I’m tired of making excuses for all of these athletes.”
THERE’S NO EXCUSE FOR PACMAN AND THERE CERTAINLY ISN’T AN EXCUSE FOR BLACK PEOPLE TO PLAY FANTASY SPORTS!
“But honestly, I’m not surprised to learn that so few blacks are among the 30 million people who participate in fantasy sports. I’ve always thought that a lot of these guys (and 96% of them are guys) are nerds desperately in need of more sociable leisure time activities. Leisure time for black folks historically consists of direct interaction, the kind of experience you get at a family barbecue or hanging out with friends. Sitting in front of a computer screen pretending to be Bill Parcells? Sounds like work to me…And the more I learn about the typical fantasy player, the more I think most minorities simply have better things to do.”
IF THE ROLES WERE REVERSED AND STEPHEN A. WAS A WHITE MAN SAYING THAT WHITE PEOPLE HAD BETTER THINGS TO DO THAN PLAY A STEREOTYPICAL BLACK RECREATIONAL ACTIVITY, WE’D HAVE OURSELVES A SITUATION THAT WOULD RIVAL THE DRAFTING OF SLAVA MEDVEDENKO!
McShay Scoffs At Kipers Laziness
Let’s face it, a trained monkey can do a mock draft if we’re only talking about the first round. Study up a bit and you might even get 6 or 7 or them correct like the big boys do. The men get separated from the boys when we start stretching out the predictions beyond just the obvious “Maclin to the Raiders because Al Davis likes speed” picks.
Todd McShay chuckles at the sheer laziness of the so-called expert, Mel Kiper…
Just four rounds, Mel? What’s the matter, afraid you might go O-fer outside of the first round like you normally do? Sack up and take a crack at those last three rounds. You’ll find no hesitation out of McShay. Let’s just say ESPN knows what they’ve got and they’re selling it:
“For the complete seven-round projection all the way to the 256th pick, including the drama surrounding the Jets at No. 17 and whether more than two running backs will come off the board in the first round, become an ESPN Insider today.”
We can think of nothing more enticing to sell ESPN Insider subscriptions than 256 complete and utter guesses by Todd McShay. Gosh, we hope they take credit card.
Exclusive Photography at Fox Sports.com
Sports photographers aren’t often confused with Hollywood paparazzi, but occasionally they’ll happen to stumble onto a candid shot that rivals anything that mags like People pay millions for. Case in point, this touching shot of Redskins owner Daniel Snyder asking Coach Jim Zorn to the team prom…
Madden’s parting shot
”If you don’t have a (helmet) on, you’re going to get hurt.”
That saying can be found 365 days a year on the bathroom mirror of the Madden Cruiser. God speed, John.
The Media Circus is written by Josh Bacott and Patrick Imig. They swear this stuff is real. Email them at firstname.lastname@example.org.