Red Sox Show An Alarming Lack of Clutchitude®

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Clutchitude (n) [kluhch-i-tood]: The ability to habitually come through at times in an athletic contest where making a play can alter the outcome of the game, whether it is a close and late situation or just a chance to break the game open. 

David Ortiz’s clutchitude has been one of the reasons that opponents have feared him over his five seasons in Boston.

Through one week (3.7 percent) of the 2009 baseball season, the Red Sox have been competing in every game.

Their record stands at 2-4, and if a few more bounces had gone their way that record could easily be 5-1.

Three of their four losses have been by one run, and the reason is their inability to get the big hit, or string together a few hits and put up a crooked number.

The Sox have only scored more than two runs once (Opening Day) in an inning this entire season.

See what happens when you swing the goddamn bat J.D.?

The stats tell the story in this situation. As a team the Red Sox are batting .100 (3-for-30) with more than one man on base.

There was one hit, in the ninth inning, in seven chances with men in scoring position yesterday.

The Sheriff (your 2008 AL MVP who, I must remind you, is always awful in April) hit into two rally killing double plays, Lowell popped out with the bases loaded and one out in the seventh after shields had walked three, Nick Green (good Red Sox debut otherwise, but this is what I'll remember) failed to get a bunt down with Tek on second (double) and nobody out in the eighth, and, of course, J.D. "we overpaid for him so that Boras would give us the Wiggler" Drew never even offered at a pitch with two on and two out in the ninth.

Another noticeable failure is the inability to get the all important productive out. A productive out is when a player advances runners even while getting out himself.

Bunting a runner to third (Nick Green), scoring a runner on a sac fly (Lowell), or moving runners along with a ground ball to the right side are all examples of this wonderful ability.

The inability to do this has killed us this season, just as it did in the post season last year.

Strikeouts in big spots when the team has a chance to break a game open are indicative not only of early season timing issues, but a larger problem with the approach at the plate at this point in the year.

The unfortunate thing is that the only prescription for this fever isn't as easy as giving Bruce more cowbell. It's simply to play more games, spend more time in the cage, and hope that the kinks will work out. It's a long season and these guys will hit. It just might take longer than we'd hoped. I'm not shaving until we win three in a row.

It seems life after Manny isn't going to be as easy as we thought (but at least our manager won't die of a heart attack brought on by the stress of dealing with him).

Can you see the flames coming from his nostrils?

Yesterday was disappointing in other ways too. Optimus Prime proved to be all together human after snorting fire out his nostrils in the first inning when Abreu ( No longer a Yank but still a pain in my ass) backed out late. I'll admit, at that point in the game I thought the whole thing was going to end with some poor schmuck (Gary Matthews was my pick, just for the fact that he had replaced Torii Hunter) looking down at his chest and making some witty remark as he dies after Beckett had thrown a fastball through him just to prove a point. The Back to Back shots in the second even got me hopeful that the boys would break out of this April malaise and put the long awaited pounding on someone.

But it wasn't to be and Rodimus Prime is on the mound tonight. Watching Nomar flail away in his old age is going to be either awesome or sad. Now the Sox trudge off to Oakland for three before coming home to face the Orioles. Hopefully playing teams that aren't among the 6 best in baseball will bring the boys around.

Ahhhh, F@#$ it. They're gonna finish fourth anyways.

Go Sox.

Done.

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