Word Life! Vol. 25: Stop The Lies! Here's the Real Wrestlemania 25 Predictions

Forget every Wrestlemania 25 prediction article. I have the true outcomes. Check them out. Word Life Volume 25! Wrestlemania 25 predictions.

Colons vs. Miz and Morrison (Unification Tag titles match)

OK, we have Miz and Morrison and the two southpaws. There are also two lovely Bellas involved in this feud. Teddy Long made the match a Lumber Jack match on ECW. Miz and Morrison are just too cool and the Colons say that they aren't cool. So with that said, after extensive day in, day out research, I have my prediction.

Predictions: Lumberjack will surround the ring. R-Truth will be one of the lumber jacks. A tag will be made. The match will happen Sunday night. The ref will raise two men's hands. A team will walk out with four titles.

Diva Battle Royal

Here it is: 25 past and present divas duking it out in the ring. Santino, too, maybe? WWE has made calls and have tried to reach old divas from old eras and past generations. This is going to be quite the match. The upside? We'll see some beautiful women. I have my predictions.

Predictions: 25 divas will have a battle royal. Women will be thrown over the top rope. There will be hair pulling. There will be screaming. The match winner will be Ms. Wrestlemania.

JBL vs. Rey Mysterio (Intercontinental title)

Mr. 6-1-9 vs JBL. JBL defeated CM Punk a few weeks back to win the IC title. He said he's going to make history at Wrestlemania. Rey Mysterio had nothing better to do, so he randomly challenged him for his familia.

Prediction: JBL will come out in his limo. Rey's will put his head against a kid's who is wearing a Rey Mysterio mask. JLB will make history. Someone will be IC champion.

Hardy vs. Hardy

One brother got jealous and decided to cost his brother the WWE championship. The other brother started fighting back and wore face paint like he's the Joker or something. One brother was kissing a dog, now they'll fight.

Predictions: The match will be Extreme. The match will have foreign objects. The match is no DQ. A Hardy will win this match. A Hardy will lose the match.

Jericho vs. Legends

WWE needed to advertise a video game that got a 6.5 from IGN.com. An actor was supposed to face Jericho, but backed out because he wanted to win an Oscar, which he lost. Stone Cold never showed up. WWE continued advertising and we got Snuka, Piper, and Steamboat.

Predictions: The odds are against Jericho. Mickey Rourke will be at ringside. The match will take place Sunday night. The winner will get a free copy of Legends of Wrestlemania.

Money In The Bank

We got eight men who fought for three weeks on all three shows over, and over, and over again. They all earned their spots one way or another, and they all are fighting for one thing...that briefcase with a world title contract that's good for one whole year.

Predictions: Someone will fall off the ladder. Someone will get hit with a ladder. Someone will climb a ladder. Someone will jump off a ladder. Someone will grab the case and win. The winner will have a title shot anytime they want for a year.

CONFORMITY PICK!: "CHRISTIAN WINS AND CASHES IT IN ON EDGE THE SAME NIGHT!"

HBK vs. Taker

Undertaker vs HBK. This guy was working for JBL a few months back and was on the verge of poverty with his family. Now he's living it up and dancing again. The Deadman spoke to HBK randomly at the Royal Rumble. Well, he's always quiet until Mania time. Suddenly, someone will "Rest...in..peace".

Predictions: The fans will cheer. People will get burned from Taker's pyro. Taker will roll his eyes back and stick his tongue out.

John Cena vs. Edge vs. Big Show (World Heavyweight Championship)

Alright, three men and Vickie Guerrero. Two men are fighting over her. One man's movie just came in No. 7 in the box office. All three of these men have something to lose...and something to win. Twelve Rounds just broke the six million mark...DAMN!

Predictions: Vickie will wish Edge and Show good luck and hope they both win. Cena is going to be hyped, as if he's on a sugar rush. Someone will walk out WHC. Someone will hit their finisher.

CONFORMITY PICK!: "CHRISTIAN WILL COME OUT AND CASH THE MITB ON EDGE!"

Triple H vs Randy Orton (WWE Title)

One man has a mental disorder, the other is a title whore. One man heard voices and took out an entire family. The other got angry.

House invasions, sledge hammers, lawyers, doctors, attorneys, and a back story from 2003.

What is going to happen? I have the answer.

Prediction: Triple H will fight for the McMahon name. Orton will have a sadistic look on his face. Triple H's nose will flare up.

Prediction: You will pay $60.00 for this event. Kid Rock and the Pussycat Dolls will perform. Heels and Faces will win and lose. These are all 100 percent right.

You've heard it here, folks: They don't get any more real than these predictions. Word Life!