Pro Sports Franchise Names That Should Be Changed and Why

There are a number of sports franchises that, due to movement, migration, and a number of other reasons, have absolutely unfitting names. In this article, I look at a few of those and make some suggestions for possible remedies.

The New Orleans Hornets and the Utah Jazz

If you have every been to Salt Lake City, you will have a difficulty finding any Jazz there.  In fact, isn't live music illegal in the State of Utah?  The Jazz moved to Salt Lake City the year after the Larry Miller bought a 50 percent share of the Jazz from then-owner Sam Battistone.  The name was retained to save money on logo swap outs, uniforms, etc.

The original New Orleans Jazz name, colors, and uniforms were fitting for a team in the city that is at the cradle of modern jazz music. The uniforms were purple, green, and gold, which are the colors of Mardi Gras.  Even the "J" in the Jazz logo was the musical notation for an eighth note.

Have you seen the modern Utah Jazz logo!?  For heaven's sake, it has a background of the Wasatch mountains with the word Jazz scrawled across it and a basketball at the bottom.  Not at all befitting of such a uniquely New Orleans name.

The name swap would benefit both teams. The Bee has some sort of special meaning in the Mormom culture prominent in the Salt Lake City area. There are symbols of bees all over the Utah capitol city.  Sounds like a perfect trade.  It would even be better of the Jazz threw in Carlos Boozer as part of the deal!

The Los Angeles Lakers and the Minnesota Timberwolves

For those in the younger crowd who may not know this, the Lakers were originally the Minneapolis Lakers. In fact, the Minneapolis Lakers pre-date the NBA.  The team name came from the Minnesota nickname of the Land of 10,000 lakes.  The name still fits the Minnesota franchise.

In Calfornia, there is barely any water away from the coast, much less 10,000 lakes. Wouldn't a better name be the Los Angeles Smog (not to be confused with the Miami Heat) or the L.A. Real Estate Bust?!

Memphis Grizzlies

Memphis kept the Grizzly name when the team migrated from Vancouver, BC to Tennessee. I spent a week in Memphis the last time I had to evacuate my family from the threat of a hurricane. In that time, I did not see one grizzly bear.

I did, however, eat some great food.  I suggest the Memphis Barbecues would be a perfect name.  The team logo could be a rack of ribs and the cheerleaders could be decked out in aprons and chef's hats.

Oakland / Los Angeles / Oakland Raiders

  Raiders in Los Angeles or Oakland ?! Come on! Those cities, as far as I know, were never a hot bed of pirate activity.  At least there was a chance of buccaneers having set foot in Tampa.  I suggest a name to the Oakland Davis in honor of Raiders' ever-meddling owner Al.

Pittsburgh Penguins

The last wild penguin to be spotted on Pittsburgh was...never. Besides, have you ever seen a penguin move on ice?  They waddle and slide.  Not a very pretty picture for a hockey player! 

Among the nicknames of this great city is "Iron City."  I suggest the Pittsburgh Iron for this NHL franchise.  A little softer than steel(ers), gets a little rusty, but is very tough.

Atlanta Falcons

The Atlanta Falcons were named by a fan mail-in contest that received more than 1,300 entries suggesting 558 different names. Although several entries in a fan contest suggested Falcons, a schoolteacher was declared the winner. 

In all the times I have been through Atlanta, I have never been able to soar around like a falcon.  Anyone who has been stuck in the congestion on I-75, I-85, or I-285 will know what I mean. I suggest the Atlanta Jam as a fitting name, in honor of the traffic situation.

Washington Redskins

What a culturally insensitive name! Can you imagine a team named the Alabama Darkies, the San Francisco Yellow Skins, or the Wyoming Whiteys? There would be a huge public outcry. A name that would strike fear into opponents, that would be fitting considering what goes on in our nation's capital would be the Washington Bureaucrats.