"Bones," "Dullards," and "Stocks": A Bowling (Yes Bowling) Editorial

First and foremost, I’d like to thank everyone for taking the time to read this.  This is my first editorial here, and, it’s something I plan on doing on occasion just to let out what I think about… Well pretty much anything!  If I can come up with some sort of catchy title for it, I’ll run with it.  If you read this and get an idea, feel free to leave me a comment.

Without any further adieux… Here goes nothing!

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This editorial, I already know, is something a lot of people are going to say WTF about.  Nevertheless, it is something I hold near and dear to my heart and figured I’d give my thoughts on it.

Bowling is a sport that has been around for thousands of years, some primitive ancestors of the game dating back as early as 5200BC.  It has also been voted the #1 participation sport in the world.  Why?  Simply because anyone and everyone can do it.  I am no exception.

I played sports the bulk of my whole life, and always dreamed of being the best, being picked first, etc.  For the most part… I wasn’t that great.  I didn’t flat out suck, but I wasn’t that great.

My family though, all bowlers.  So I was roped it at a young age, and been doing it ever since.

So where’s the opinion here?  Well it is about to surface.

You see, not only do I enjoy participating in the sport, but I absolutely LOVE watching it on TV.  The problem has been the fact that viewership, over I’d say probably the last 10 years AT LEAST, has been plummeting.  It is rumored that if the viewership doesn’t increase this season substantially, this could be the final televised season.

Thankfully… If the other rumors are true, viewership is up almost 16% this season.  And if that is the case, I think the PBA Tour will continue.

There are some things though, I would like to address on a specific basis.

Hambone Fever
“I gotta feva… And the only prescription is more hambone!”

When I first heard Rob Stone exclaim “HAMBONE!” after a streak of four strikes, my response was simply “WTF?!”  I thought it was a hacky gimmick, and not something worth even thinking about.  Rob Stone was in a similar boat.  In an article with the Post Tribune of Northwest Indiana, Stone was quoted as saying:

“Some of the bowlers said to calm down on the hambone thing, so I took it to heart," he said. "I'm not out here to belittle the athletes. But about 30 minutes later I had a lady come up to me and say how much they enjoy saying hambone in their league. That made me smile. On that show we started seeing signs crop up and I told Randy, ‘We can't kill this.’ ”

Like I said, at first I thought this was hacky and kind of juvenile.  Then, as I watched week to week, I caught myself catching “Hambone Fever.”  I caught myself yelling with the fans on TV, and honestly it’s added a new sense of excitement to the show.

Before, people would watch, see four strikes in a row, and simply be like “Yay.”  Now… If someone has the turkey, gets up in the next frame, and releases the ball, it’s a chorus of “HAMBONE!” coming from the crowd.  It reminds me of watching the PGA, seeing someone on the green with a 20 foot putt, and once the ball is struck you have the “GET IN THE HOLE!” guy.  Honestly it has added that flare to the game.

So to the critics of the hambone, realize that this is one of the new trends that IS helping put the sport back on the map.  It is helping the PBA to gain sponsorship, and it’s helping bring new fans to the sport.  So if you want to remain a traditionalist, do it.  But don’t be one of the party poopers for everyone else because you’re too surly to accept anything new.

“He Stinks, and I Don’t Like Him!”
When purists of bowling think of one name, it is usually Earl Anthony.  Some might say Dick Weber, but Earl’s name has always been synonymous with bowling.

It’s too bad he is supposedly being “eclipsed” by someone else.

There is no question that Walter Ray Williams Jr. can bowl, but to be compared with the “OG” of bowling?  Puh-lease!

If someone is going to be put into the same category as pure greatness for the sport, he shouldn’t have such a bad rapport with the fans.  Everyone I have talked to constantly says he is one of the rudest bowlers on tour.  If you ask for his autograph, he’ll give it to you.  But usually it comes with him just being rude while doing it.

Compare that to someone who I thought would be that way, and proved me wrong.  In the 2007 H&R Block Classic in Reno, Patrick Allen won the tournament in very stellar and dramatic fashion.

Now before I go further let me preface this by saying, P-A always struck me as a cocky and arrogant bowler on TV.  So when he won, I wasn’t the most thrilled about it, but I knew I was going to get his autograph anyway…

Now back to the end of the event.  I stood in line as P-A did his quick media junket before signing autographs.  Walter Ray walks by, after losing (and being a sore loser at that) to P-A.  He’s mobbed and asked for signatures.  He signs them while just being generally rude, and being very obvious about wanting to get out of there.

Then here comes Patrick Allen.

When it gets to be my turn, he turns out to be one of the nicest human beings around.  He was very polite, very happy, and very glad to be around the fans.  That continued on to the casinos, where he and Pete Weber sat with a group of friends and myself and had a blast with us.

So if you’re going to be comparing someone to greatness, make sure they have the attitude to back it up.  Being great isn’t just how many titles you win.  It’s being a strong ambassador for the sport as well.

So Many Balls… So Much Difference!
To cap off this first diatribe of mine, I figured I would just speak my mind a little about the current bowling ball dilemmas I have been encountering.

When I first began bowling, I used strictly Columbia 300 equipment.  Why?  I was young, and their commercials convinced me I should.  Turns out it worked; I learned to use it well.

Then, last year I heard that Ebonite was in the process of buying Columbia out.  Rumors began to circulate.  What ultimately bothered me was that Ebonite didn’t get the patents to the cores and coverstocks.  I started to buy balls from other companies, and found that I just didn’t know what they did.  I couldn’t get the reaction I knew they had the capabilities of, nor could I control them.

On top of all that… I was about as impatient as one can be.

So after buying close to 6 or 7 bowling balls for “testing” purposes, I find out that Ebonite DID get the cores and coverstocks in the purchase of the brand.  Since I found that out, I purchased one of Columbia’s new line, and absolutely love it.

If you’re a bowler, and you’re “ball shopping,” just remember to find the ball that works for YOU.  Don’t ultimately try to be someone else.  It’ll wreak havoc on your game, and frustrate you like you wouldn’t imagine.

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Well folks, there you have it.  I know I probably picked a topic that most people would look at and say is boring, but I figured for a “first editorial” it was something I knew I could put together some logical and coherent commentary regarding it.  Hopefully as I get used to writing more and more, I can do more editorials and make them of a more interesting variety.  Until then… Enjoy, or don’t.  Love ya, mean it!