Women's Best-Kept Secret: Sports Knowledge

My wife isn't interested in sports.  She prefers TLC's What Not To Wear over ESPN's Pardon the Interruption.  She'd rather meet Ryan Seacrest than watch Nolan Ryan throw a fastball.  She'll sit and "watch" football with me on Sundays, but always with her laptop and an adult beverage handy. 

When the topic of conversation at the dinner table turns to whatever Jim Rome was burning on or whomever Dan Patrick was interviewing, her eyes glaze over and she nods her head slowly, humoring me while I ramble on and on.  Finally, I catch on to her lack of interest and inquire about any drama which may have unfolded at her work that afternoon. 

At the end of the meal, we leave the table having shared an important piece of our day.  I've attempted to share my sports obsession with my patient wife, and she in turn has berated her insincere, self-important boss and explained the intricacies of facial moisturizers.

After the dishes have been cleared and the leftovers stowed in appropriately sized Tupperware, I flip on the TV and my thumb automatically finds a sports broadcast of any kind.  As a fan of the Duke Blue Devils (please don't judge and keep reading), I try to catch the team's games whenever they are on locally or nationwide.  On one such night, my wife joined me on the couch and we watched as Duke took on Wake Forest.

Now, as any good man should do, I keep close tabs on my wife and her television viewing habits.  As a result, I knew for a fact that she hadn't seen Duke play at all yet this year and this was her first game of the season.  Keeping that in mind, I tried filling her in on the young talent on the team and how I thought they might perform come tournament time. 

Before I could get any further, she interrupted me with this question:  "Isn't Gerald Henderson a junior?"  I quickly answered, "No, he's a senior and will definitely go in the first round of the NBA draft this summer."

The game turned into a classic ACC battle and was tight until the final horn.  Wake edged the Blue Devils with a last-second layup and I retreated to my office computer slightly dejected.  Mindless Internet surfing turned into a quick Google search of Gerald Henderson.  I had a sneaking suspicion that my disinterested wife had nailed it and I had unwisely corrected her. 

As you may already have guessed, she was right.  Not only did she know Henderson by his first name, but she also knew he was in his junior year at Duke.  Surely this was a fluke. 

The stars had aligned, there was a full moon and my wife had a moment like Will Ferrell in Old School when he's debating James Carville.  My plan was to admit my mistake in passing and then dazzle her with sports trivia, the type of knowledge for which I'm convinced she married me.  The strategy worked to perfection and she simply smiled and said, "I thought so."

Not two days later, I was blindsided once again.  A late movie on the couch at her parents' house turned into a sports-trivia forum between the two of us, her brother, and her sister.  My brother-in-law and I were insistent on testing the sports I.Q. of the girls, especially my sister-in-law, a sports marketer for NASCAR.  We soon discovered that both scored well, certainly much higher than we expected. 

My wife correctly identified NFL and NHL teams with their respective cities, matched all-stars with their teams and even knew a bit of sports history.  Since pop culture and sports have become increasingly related, I expected some of the questions to be answered accurately. 

Everyone knows Tom Brady dated Gisele and Tiger Woods' wife was pregnant again.  It was the Buffalo Braves knowledge, the fact that she knew which NHL franchise played in L.A., and the NCAA tournament bracket savvy which amazed me. 

I was stunned to find out that my wife knew the all-time(*) home run hitter, the winningest coaches in college basketball history and even the year in which John Wooden was born.  Okay, I made the last one up. 

My point is that your girlfriend, your daughter, your mother, and even your wife know more about sports than they let on.  I'd be willing to bet they can name three of the last five Heisman trophy winners.  They know that the cover-2 defense helped the Patriots win the Super Bowl in 2001 and that "Wide Right" is synonymous with Scott Norwood and the Buffalo Bills.

More than likely your lady can explain the infield fly rule, spot a traveling violation on a Tyler Hansbrough "pivot" or understand play-action's effectiveness in a balanced passing attack.  After hours of football by your side, whipping up guacamole for you and your buddies, she can probably explain a sweep better than John Madden (which isn't saying much). 

I think it's about time we give the girls some respect.  Chances are you couldn't redecorate your living room or explain "shabby chic."  Meanwhile, your significant other knows the line for each game in the Sweet 16 this weekend and is about to dominate you with her bracket. 

Admit it, she had George Mason in the '06 Final Four, had Davidson last year and 'Zona this year.  Call it female intuition or possibly luck.  I think just maybe they are better at multitasking and actually listen to the game while they surf Pottery Barn's Web site for area rugs.

I don't care how they know.  What I do know is my wife has Syracuse winning it all this year in the family pool.  I'm thinking about taking her to Vegas.