I know it's hard to believe but I have tapped into an existing wiretap located inside the Oakland Raiders HQ phone system. I don't have time to explain but wanted to print out the transcript in case anyone was interested to hear how the recent trade for Dolphins Center Samson Satele went down.
John Herrera (Raiders front office guy) makes the call to Mami Dolphins HQ
Receptionist: "Miami Dolphins, how may I direct your call?"
John Herrera: "Hi I'd like to speak to Tony Spp--u sppar..."
John Herrera: "Yea"
Receptionist: "He's not available, can I take a message?"
John Herrera: "How about Jeff Britain?"
John Herrera: "Sorry, Jeff Ireland. My bad."
Receptionist: "One moment please"
Bill Parcells: "Hello, Bill Parcells speaking."
John Herrera: "Bill? I was expecting to talk to Jeff Ireland, Dolphins GM"
Bill Parcells: "You can talk to me. What can I do for you?"
John Herrera: "We would like you to return our center Jake Grove"
Bill Parcells: "Return? What in Sam Hill do you mean?"
John Herrera: "Mr Davis feels-"
Bill Parcells: "Listen, if Mr Davis wants to discuss trade he can call me himself. Why is his assistant calling me?
John Herrera: "Well, I am Senior Vice-"
Bill Parcells: "Right"
John Herrera: "Hang on, Mr. Davis is inching his way to his desk. He's going to join the call"
Bill Parcells: "I don't have all day"
John Herrera: "He's almost there"
Bill Parcells: "Why do you want Jake Grove back anyway? You let him become a free agent"
(Al breaks in) "Bill, this is Al. You should give us compensation for allowing him to go to free agency"
Bill Parcells: "Al, that's ridiculous"
Al Davis: "You listen to me you...giant tuna, Grove was a Raider. You don't just sign a Raider as a free agent without giving a Raider in return, kapiche?"
(Bill goes off speakerphone and can't stop snickering) "Is this guy serious?" He asks someone (unidentified) in Bill's office. That unidentified voice is heard to say "Oh man this is comedy gold".
Bill composes himself and goes back on speakerphone.
Bill Parcells: "Ok, Al, I get your point."
Al Davis: "I want your center as compensation"
Bill Parcells: "Our center? Samson Satele? You sure? He's coming off shoulder surgery, Plus, if you look at the tape, he got thumped last season against some pretty good nose tackles--"
Al Davis: "I like his hair, the way it flops out of the back of the helmet. It makes everyone think he's a good player, like what's his name, that safety in Pittsburgh. i want one of those guys with the hair. Speed baby, Raider speed."
Bill Parcells:"Er, ok Mr Friendly...Throw in a draft pick and you have a deal, See you in the playoffs...(speakerphone off)...not" (laughter)