Ramblings and Reminisces: Best of Test Cricket from the Southern Hemisphere

Breaking news, folks: The Bowlers Well-fare Authority, an underground arm of the United Nations, has officially sent a request to the International Cricket Council that all Test matches henceforth are to be played only on New Zealand and South African soils.

Before any reputed new agency picks up on this earth-shattering piece of journalistic coupe, let me reveal that the aforementioned group are strictly fictional, unless some sorry soul, like Irfan Pathan, decides to make this a reality.

(Really, they do deserve it, just look at the bowling averages during England’s Test series in the Caribbean!)

Anyway, moving on to more pressing matters, stuff less fictional, though any English or West Indian fan may find 10 wickets falling on the first day very, very fictional indeed.

We will, of course, begin with a match that is absolutely brilliantly poised.

India bundled out their hosts for a paltry 279 on the first day, but conditions did not improve much for batting on day two.

Virender Sehwag’s early, untimely dismissal didn’t help matters of course. Sehwag, India’s most lethal weapon, scores at such a frenetic pace, that even a successful Rahul Dravid innings can not bring the run-rate below 3.5!

It was not to be today, the Nawab getting mangled in a dirty, dirty mix up with Gautam Gambhir, his opening partner, and literally threw his wicket away. Of course, one must not take any thing away from James Franklin, whose throw from the cover region was never expected to rattle the stumps!

Dravid and Gambhir then embarked on the most successful partnership of the innings (so far) with typically characteristic innings from both the ‘old’ and the ‘new’ (purported successor) Walls.

While Gambhir, having already gotten a start, kicked on and made a fluent half a ton, the elder statesman looked resigned to spending the rest of his life on that very wicket.

Leaving everything and anything that did not look to bother his woodwork, but letting loose some venomous square cuts, the man brought back memories of his 1999 visit to this country.

Trouble erupted in paradise though, nine overs after lunch, Gautam Gambhir nicked Chris Martin to ‘keeper Brendon McCullum, out for a polished 72, probably the innings of the innings so far.

India two down and we all know what happens then. Yes, yes, yes. People all across the ground get up and applaud, I jump around like a monkey in my living room, and there are rumours, that there is a compulsory ceasefire between India and Pakistan, not to mention that an official study revealed terrorism is also at its least.

(Though he couldn’t be contacted for a quote, it has long been assumed even the original big man, God, also takes a break at this point in India’s innings.)

It wasn’t a typical Tendulkar knock, but after over 600 international innings, there is no such thing as a typical Tendulkar knock, really.

I think, therefore, it would be safer to say that this wasn’t an inning a neutral would look at with too much fondness. But we shall return to Tendulkar in a while.

The immediate focus upon Gambhir’s fall was Dravid.

He did not disappoint, bringing up his 50 with the same square cut that he was employing so well today.

The duo added 35, a partnership dominated by Dravid, with Tendulkar contributing just eleven.

Dravid departed with the score at 177 for three. In walked Laxman, looking to ease into some kind of flow after disappointing outings in the Kiwi domestic circuit.

Tendulkar gained a semblance of fluidity batting with Lax, but it wasn’t until the stylish Hyderabadi departed for 30 that Tendulkar really began to open up.

The Little Master got lucky on quite a few occasions, constantly dragging the ball behind him while trying to cut the ball. It was a weakness that undid him in South Africa a couple of seasons ago, but he was luckier this out, as the ball kept missing the stumps.

He was also put down off Vettori just before tea, when an attempted pull shot caught the top edge of his willow and lobbed right up in the air, but Franklin couldn’t make enough ground quickly, as the ball brushed his finger tips before bouncing. It figured, Tendulkar was on 13 at the time!

The experience came into play immediately, as he began rotating the strike fluently with Laxman. Once dropped, the master decided it was time to cash in.

At Laxman’s fall on 238, after a sedate 61 run partnership, Tendulkar decided to be a bit more positive.

A few short balls were hit straight to the fielder at short cover, one caught the bottom corner of his blade, flying to the third man boundary, but soon he got one on the middle, a beautiful back foot punch for four, soon after completing his 50 second-half century.

Soon there was a flick off his pads which also raced away for four, an amazing cut shot, a soft punch down the ground and the famous upper cut all made their appearance, as the Bombay Bomber lifted his strike rate from 36 to 52.

Dominating a 40 run partnership with Yuvraj, who has contributed eight thus far, Tendulkar would be looking forward to completing a very satisfying 42nd Test ton on a pitch which doesn’t seem to be allowing the batsmen to get settled.

The play of the day definitely belonged to Tendulkar.

In what was eventually the last over of the day, Tendulkar edged two deliveries (which were well short of the fielders) to the slip cordon, prompting the umpires to offer the batsmen light, which the promptly took.

On air commentator Simon Doull to remark that Tendulkar was nicking the ball on purpose to plant the thought of bad light into the umpires’ minds, which was met with loud protests of “Surely he is not that good!” from his fellow commentator.

Doull, quite ecstatically proclaimed, “He is THAT good, I tell you, that good!”

A few hours after the Hamilton spectacle, a dead rubber match began.

Australia, already having won the series pretty emphatically, won the toss in the last Test match of their tour of South Africa and chose to bat. It looked a good wicket to bat, too.

But like Hamilton, the Newlands pitch never let the batsmen settle in, a fact best illustrated by Simon Katich’s dismissal on 55, after taking up well over 150 deliveries. A tossed up gimme ball by Paul Harris, Katich went for the sweep, top edged, pouched by debutant Imraan Khan.

Ponting and Clarke both made ducks, while Michael Hussey breezed to a run a ball 20 before being undone by a peach by Dale Steyn.

Brad Haddin and Mitchell Johnson were the only other batsmen to make decent contributions with 42 and 35 respectively.

Ntini finished off the tail with two quick wickets in one over, those of McDonald and Siddle.

Australia bundled out for 209; it was definitely a day to celebrate for the South African bowlers, Steyn, Harris, Ntini and Morkel all getting among the wickets.

South Africa made a sound start, with two new faces in the opening slot, the returning Ashwell Prince and the debutant Imraan Khan, a schoolmate of Hashim Amla.

Prince was positive from the get go, slamming a flurry of boundaries through the slip and gully region, while Khan was shaking of the jitters of his first day of Test cricket, getting his first few runs, including a first boundary, a lovely flick through mid-wicket off Mitchell Johnson. The duo put on 57, and was still together at stumps.

Johnson disappointed in his brief spell, sending down a few no balls and presenting Prince with width to cash in on.

Tomorrow promises to be a fascinating day’s play, in both matches.

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