Indianapolis Colts: What If I Wasn't a Homer?

Glenn CardSenior Analyst IMarch 13, 2009

I have recently had an intervention that has possibly saved my life. I actually was living my life in a small bubble, insulated by the fact that my world didn’t need to be any larger.

It was a lie.

I received my intervention by many caring Indianapolis Colts' fans that made sure I faced my addiction. You see, I was a Patriots' fan.

Being the homer I was, I purposefully and continuously commented on innocent articles that showed statistically how everything I believed about my chosen team was incorrect.

How could there possibly any other false images other than my QB, Brady? It simply was not possible for the Patriots as a whole not to be venerated as the Champions I knew them to be.

Of course my comments were always so caustic that I frequently had to change my own monitor due to melting LCDs. The author and fans often had to suffer through my many rantings which now vexes me so.

Now I offer my apologies to those who had to endure my thoughtless messages.

Finally, and thankfully, a solid group of individuals, those kind Colts' fans, were able to sequester me and hold my intervention. I had my head handed to me in so many ways it would have taken a saint to withstand the conversion.

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As my bulletin board filled with ceaseless and endless messages from those very caring Colts' fans, it became impossible to ignore their message. I needed help.

I’ve been clean for three days now. I go to two PFA (Patriots' Fan Anonymous) meetings a day. It really is one day at a time.

Through this rehabilitation, I have been able track down and digitally record all of the commercials Peyton Manning has starred in as well his SNL appearance. I have the recording on a digital loop that plays back 24/7.

The sports room in my house has almost made a complete transformation. The last item to make it complete will be the 2004 Peyton Manning bobble head which I currently have a bid for at $2255.00 on EBAY.

I tried to get Marvin Harrison’s sidearm that was used in the shooting last year, but it appears that it was a counterfeit as the real one remains in the police evidence locker. I almost got rooked on that one.

Finally free of my addiction, I can finally say MM’MMa….BRADY IS THE GREATEST!


Let me try that again. Man..Mann…..BRADY IS THE GREATEST EVER!

Umm. Excuse me, I have to go and call my sponsor.

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