Drunk Iowa Hawkeyes Fan Fails in Tailgate Activity, Hits Girl with Bat
"Heads up," "fore" or "watch out" were all proper responses to a bat flying out of the hands of one drunken Bro and striking some innocent girl in the face.
Instead, we got laughs.
Welcome to what Guyism describes as an Iowa Hawkeyes tailgate, an event complete with a magical wiffle-ball bat that also holds a great deal of adult beverage.
We know this because our shameful Bro here takes a swig of something before launching into an unrelenting spinning around the bat, something I have never understood.
If you are drunk enough to think this is a worthy use of your time, chances are you don't need the extra hit to your balance.
Also, I am emotionally done fighting the war against people who shoot video vertically. At this point, there are far too many of you people with depleted brain cells who think this is the proper way to frame your shot. I'm done.
Anyhoo, the board-short wearing frat boy with an actual band to hold his glasses on, as if he was someone's dad in 1987, tries to hit what I assume is a crushed beer can.
He of course misses the object, no spoiler there. What's interesting is that he completely throws the bat and hits some young woman whose only worries that day were looking cool in front of her friends, getting some drinks and not getting blasted in the dome with an errant bat.
Someone now needs a hug.
The worst part is all the guys, including the geek who threw the bat, begin to laugh and completely miss the point that someone was just hit in the face.
Tailgating rule No. 45, section B: If someone gets hit in the face with anything (hot dog, actual dog, bat or football) there will be an automatic timeout.
Remind me never to tailgate in Iowa.
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