Can You Just Not Make the Team Already, Casey McGehee?
It had to be someone.
I couldnโt tell you exactly why Casey McGehee will be absorbing the majority of my Brewers-related disdain as long as he has a chance of cracking campโyet he will.
With significantly better players ahead of him, multi-position versatility and the look of displaced farm-hand moxie about him, McGehee resembles the type of Spring Training invitee whose name Iโd usually be doodling beside hearts and shooting stars in my Lisa Frank Siberian Tiger Trapper Keeper. Yet he isnโt.
Instead, Casey McGeheeโs name sits beside Tony Gwynn Jr.โs on my random shit list...and I donโt know why. But in effort to convince myself Iโm not a terrible human to wish failure upon a man not too much older (or evidently better at baseball) than myself, Iโll hazard a guess to why McGehee seems to just rub me the wrong way.
1. Blockedโฆ so very, very blocked: One of the few things Iโve cared enough to learn about McGehee in his brief stint as a Brewer is the position he plays. As a third baseman with prior catching experience, I think his chances at stealing Ueckerโs job seem more realistic.
Save for Bill Hall, the 3B class isnโt pants-tightening by any means - but Casey sits at the bottom of the landfill that rounds out the realistic options. Craig Counsellโฆ ugh, still better than this hack. Heโll obviously make the team.
Mike Lamb is awful, and is old...but at least heโs racked up some decent numbers over the course of his 36-year career. McGeheeโs lifetime line? .167, 4 hits, 5 RBI. Plus, with the Twinks still paying Lamb $3.something M, Milwaukee is on the hook to pay these players the same amount of money.
Mat Gamel isnโt ready to start the season in Milwaukee. If you think he is, you probably wear your hat backwards, have just heard the name Mat Gamel for the first time and own stock in Remetee.
Thus, I excluded him. And notice how these other guys (even Gamel) got to pick their own numbers? Not a good sign, Case.
2. Casey McGehee is not Brad Nelson or Vinny Rottino: That is perhaps the most glaring stat to support his necessary exile from Brewers camp. Being that this stupid planet seems to frown upon a scenario that will bring Eric Hinske to Milwaukee, I had to settle for Rottino to symbolize the weak branch in which to balance my desperate hopes upon...a player to identify with.
As it became ever more apparent Rottino will grow old, build a cottage, whittleย duck statuesย and eventually die on Nashvilleโs bench, Iโve sinceย adopted Brad Nelsonย as the primaryย being toย cradle in his burly frame myย desireย to see theย underdog prosper.
In short, if youโre not from the Midwest and/or havenโt been met with constant obstacles that Iโve had years to personally observe and build up exponentially in my mind, then I donโt owe you shit, Votto.
3. Based on pure speculation, no facts, and a series of unlikely situations,ย he seems totally lame:ย You know that guy from high school gym class, college intramural, orย rec leagueย softball (Joe)ย who took things way too seriously? McGehee kind of looks like that guy.
I envision this first week ofย Spring Training down timeย features Corey Hart telling Jason Kendall racist jokes, Prince Fielder mistakenly trying to eat Jason Bourgeois, thinking heโs candyโtwice (thatโs a heโs little joke, not a heโs black joke...for those of you scoring at home), Craig Counsell teaching Manny Parraย Nordic Mythology, and Casey friendless, alone in the workout facility grunting loudly in a sleeveless shirt, embroidered with his collegiate insignia.
When he does talk to teammates, itโs probably about โcarb intakeโ, โdeltsโ and โshredding his deltsโ while sweating constantly and reeking of oniony B.O.
4. The name โCasey McGeheeโ is annoying - and now Iโm officially reaching: I donโt ever want to willingly allow a situation that requires me to cheer the name Casey aloudโunless sheโs hot, and weโre alone (HEY-O!).
And is it Mick - GAY - he? MIG - ay - hee, or something weird and overtly Irish that I havenโt even considered? Donโt tell meโฆ Iโm hoping I never have to find out.
I know none of these reasons are fair, accurate, well-thoughtย or even well-written. But itโs my right to say them. After all, Spring Training is always long, often boring and full of optimisticย fluff featuresย of glory chases (not be confused with glory holes).
If rooting for some dude to not make the team is the most investment in Brewers baseball I canย manage before opening day, then itโll have to be enough.
Iโm sorry, Casey. But it had to be someone...and Trot Nixon was too easy.
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