Nebraska Football: New Traditions for Huskers' TDs While Balloons Are on Hiatus

Oh, Nebraska. For decades upon decades, your fans have been releasing red and white helium balloons into the sky after every first touchdown of the game. There, they've floated up and away, into space and beyond, eventually landing on the moon and getting all over the place there and that's why we don't have the space shuttle anymore. Probably.

At any rate, a nationwide helium shortage means Nebraska can't let off those thousands of balloons every week from now on, according to the Lincoln Journal-Star. There's a long explanation for it—it has to do with natural gas prices and other countries, so we'll spare you the learning—but at the end of the day, Nebraska's just not keen on adding to the demand for helium.

Well, as everyone knows, you can't just kill a tradition without putting a new one in place, so let's look at four of the traditions that have already been floated (balloon reference) by readers to the Journal-Star, plus one more from a Nebraska fan on Twitter. 

Just to reiterate: We did not come up with these ideas ourselves. This is all on Nebraska.

Option 1: Confetti

Pros: It's paper, and paper is easy to procure and pick up. Using recyclable material here is incredibly easy, as Nebraska must have rooms and rooms full of unusable "congratulations on your conference championship" certificates from the last 10 years.

Cons: Totally unimpressive. No potential for tomfoolery. Useless in the rain.

Score: 2/10

Option 2: Water Balloons

Pros: It's still balloons! Except this has the added benefit of soaking everyone in the entire student section. Also, if it's below freezing outside, those water balloons turn into ice grenades, which is so riotously unsafe it swings all the way back from con to pro.

Cons: Launching projectiles at the backs of people's heads doesn't seem extremely wise. Also, it gets cold in Nebraska in the fall and winter. Soaking everyone early on? Not great.

Score: 8/10

Option 3: Fireworks

Pros: Fireworks are fun to watch! Even people who are cynical and detached love fireworks, because they're big, awesome, decorative explosions.

Cons: Takes the tradition literally out of students' hands—or at least does so until some dim bulb starts letting off Roman candles right there in the stands. And if that happens in Week 1, in Week 2, there'll be about 100. This road leads to carnage, which I kind of like, but Nebraska doesn't want to go there.

Score: 4/10

Option 4: Video of Balloons Being Released

Pros: No

Cons: What the hell is wrong with you?

Score: 0/10

Option 5: Paint Doves Red and Set Them Loose

"

@helloerinmarie Red painted doves.

— Christopher Peters (@jestyr7) August 14, 2012"

"

Where in #LNK can I buy large amounts of doves? Also needed, a lot of dove friendly red paint.

— Christopher Peters (@jestyr7) August 14, 2012"

Pros: This is equally delightful and horrible.

Cons: This is equally delightful and horrible.

Score: A THOUSAND/10