MMA: 2012's Misadventures in Walkout Music

A good walkout song is hard to find.

Why? I'd say the cause is multivariate. Part of the underlying issue, if I may, is that pro fighters have a different set of objectives when selecting entrance music than you and I do when we're browsing iTunes. They're looking for something to adrenalize themselves and the crowd. For many fighters, that means a song they can smack their head to as they make their way to the cage. Hey, nothing wrong with that. It's just that on more than a few occasions, the song makes me smack my head, too, though for different reasons.

But there's also the fact that a lot of today's music is very, very bad. Hey, I'm no snob. I listen to Kenny Loggins. I'm in no position to judge. But you know what? The sun rises in the east, water is wet, and there's a lot of really bad music out there right now. A LOT. And you know what else? It's OK to say that. We, the people, don't have to pretend to like everything ironically if we don't want to. We don't have to shrug our shoulders and mumble something about how it's all subjective while yet another jabroni in a faux hawk relieves himself in our ear canals. There is bad music out there. Lots of it. And it's hurting our MMA walkout music culture. THERE. I said it. 

That felt good. I was saying something. So the bad walkout music situation, it's a heady brew of functioning in a world with a high demand for fist pumping, jokes that fell flat or just didn't make sense, and that aforementioned bad sample pool. It's a very rich tapestry. And it is a tapestry that tells the tale of the Misadventures of Walkout Music, 2012 edition. More than a slideshow. A case study, of our lives and times. 

10. Chris Clements, "Rockin Robin" by Bobby Day

Recently used at: UFC 145 and UFC 149

I just...this doesn't compute.

Every now and then someone goes for a jokey song (Dave Herman's "Do You Really Wanna Hurt Me," Tom Lawlor's entire catalog). But I can't figure out if this is supposed to be a joke. What's the joke? I don't get it.

Don't get me wrong...the song is a Motown classic. Great for family car rides and such. But an MMA walkout song? Come on. Who are you kidding, Chris Clements? No, tell me. I'm asking.

9. Damian Grabowski, "40:1" by Sabaton

Used at: Bellator 67 

Easily the best song about the might of the Polish military ever sung by an English-speaking Swedish hair metal band. Imagine if Megadeth and the Scorpions teamed up to write soundtracks for the History Channel.

To be fair, I checked with my metal source, and Sabaton is actually pretty respected. Even so, this one's not getting it done for me.

8. Brian Ebersole, "Where Is the Love?" by the Black-Eyed Peas

Used at: UFC 149

Where's the love? Where's the decent walkout song, Brian? Nice one, Scott.

I'm not exactly a fan of the BEP, but I don't harbor the vitriol for them that others do. This one falls short not because it's a mediocre song in a decent song's clothing (although it is), but because it doesn't work as the entrance music for a pro fighter.

Fergie's voice is in baby-doll overdrive for the chorus. It's hard enough to listen to that when you're not getting ready to watch a fight (or fight, I'd imagine).

7. Dennis Siver, “Last Resort” by Papa Roach

Used at: UFC on Fuel TV 2

As long as Dennis Siver is going to keep insisting that he walk out to one of the signature anthems of the Limp Bizkit era, I'm going to keep considering it a very bad walkout song. And that's the way it is. 

6. Steven Siler, “In the Air Tonight” by Nonpoint

Used at: UFC on FX 4

I don't understand what's wrong with the Phil Collins version. Sure, the original's a little overdone in both a walkout song and a general sports context, but it's definitely preferable to this version, performed by a group that appears to be a copy of a copy of Korn for inclusion in a project that appears to be the soundtrack for Miami Vice: The Movie.

Some things just aren't meant to be remade. 

5. Roy Nelson, "We Will Rock You" by Queen

Used at: UFC 146

Here's something fun to try: next time "We Will Rock You," comes on at your local sporting venue, look around and watch all the eyes glaze over. See if you can count them. I'm telling you right now. You can't, dude. You can't.

But you can do better, Big Country. I thought "Born in the U.S.A." worked pretty well.

4. Peter Davis, "Supafly (Tek-One Remix)" by Fugative

Used at: One Fighting Championship: Destiny of Warriors

I'll admit that I had never heard of Fugative before I heard this song. And let me say this: after I heard the song, it's not like some big well of curiosity opened up under my feet.

3. Chael Sonnen, "Too Much Fun" by Daryle Singletary

Used at: UFC 148

I like a good country song as much as the next fellow. This is not one of those songs, at least not to me.

I know everybody likes it because it's Chael Sonnen's music. But if this was the entrance song of, say, Ben Rothwell, you'd be rolling your eyes from here to Tuscon.

2. Tim Boetsch, "American Bad Ass" by Kid Rock

Used at: UFC 144 and UFC 149

UFC 149 was like a murderer's row of bad walkout songs.

It went from "Rockin' Robin" to James Head's use of Hugo's cover of "99 Problems" to Ebersole's "Where is the Love?" to this little ditty. (Although credit where it's due to Cheick Kongo's awesome entrance music, reggae artist Alpha Blondy's "Brigadier Sabari.") 

But Kid Rock towers above them all. Don't kid yourself: He is the worst. The worst. I can't even think of a joke right now. He steals my ability to think. He is just...the worst.

T-1 Ulysses Gomez, "Baby" by Justin Bieber

Used at: UFC on Fox 4

Sometimes it's a team effort here at Bleacher Report. Shout-out to commenters Andrew and Eli for reminding me about one of the true travesties of the year to date in walkout music. And it happened just last week! I like to think my brain blocked it out for me. Thanks, brain.

Coming into the fight, Gomez seemed pretty defiant about his choice of song. But that was before he got knocked the eff out by John Moraga. Maybe that was enough to make him reconsider this good luck charm. One can only hope.

Here's a picture of Gomez kissing an opponent. I don't know...I don't know what this guy's deal is.

T-1. Stefan Struve, "Cryin Like a Bitch" by Godsmack

Used at: UFC 146

There's no bad name I could put on this song that would label it any d-baggier than the one bestowed on it by the band itself.

By using MMA fighters in their video, Godsmack is employing a strategy that has worked pretty well for other fading musical acts (Nelly, Three Doors Down, Trick Daddy, I'm looking in your directions). The strategy is as follows: write a song that will be really easy to use during certain sports, certain sporting arenas and certain TV spots about said sports. This increases your chances for royalties.

Good for Godsmack, I guess. They've got that Stefan Struve money flowing now. But the song still sucks, no matter what the focus groups told them.

But wait...what's that...is there one more... 

Bonus: Ben Askren, "It's Hard to Be Humble" by Mac Davis

Used at: Not used yet

Oh, I'm not done yet. I had to include this one, even if it hasn't actually been used.

I hope the Bellator welterweight champion is as good as his word. He's not all that popular because of his slow fighting style, but Ben Askren is one funny dude. Like Askren himself, this song is so great it's bad, and so bad it's great. Here's hoping he breaks it out for his next fight.

Scott Harris is a featured columnist for Bleacher Report MMA and a contributing writer for the site's Caged In blog. He also has a new Twitter account; follow along @ScottHarrisMMA.