Favre Retires to Consider Second Comeback, Advise Warner

He's done it again!

Brett Favre has retired.  In his second retirement press conference in the past year, Favre said he needs time "to think about a second miraculous comeback."

"I'd like to thank the New York Jets for giving me the opportunity to make a comeback right before last season started," Favre said. "However, if I play another season in New York without first taking time to rest and decide if I want to, I might not become a huge distraction once again.  You've got to understand...this is hard."

Favre also said he wanted to spend time with his good friend Kurt Warner.  Favre plans to advise Warner as he goes through the difficult turmoil of his first possible retirement from the NFL.

"Kurt is a seasoned pro when it comes to this.  He did something even I haven't done in my storied career when he openly thought about retiring after the start of the regular season.  That takes some toughness."

Favre also said he thinks Warner has exactly what it takes to retire and then stage a miraculous comeback right before camp.

New York Jets new coach Rex Ryan said of Favre: "If he thinks Mike [Tannenbaum] and I are going to be Ted Thompson and Mike McCarthy just because he holds all of those records, he's got another think coming."

Ryan also said Favre was a true competitor and a legendary player, but that he could not see allowing anyone to distract him or his team during training camp.

Kurt Warner could not be reached for comment, but his outspoken wife Brenda told reporters that she welcomes any advice Favre can bring.

"I loved the story last year! The suspense, the drama.  It was so... exhilarating.  For my Kurt to be able to be the center of attention like that, well, it would be amazing!"

Warner just played in Super Bowl XLIII with the Arizona Cardinals.  Cardinals coach Ken Whisenhunt seemed bothered by the notion that Warner would "pull a Favre."

"He wouldn't dare," Whisenhunt said in a phone conversation. "Kurt is smarter than that.  He knows that the Arizona Cardinals would not just take him back if he suddenly had the itch to play again."

When asked about Matt Leinart's sub-par performances as the team's starting quarterback, Whisenhunt softened some.

"Matt's been OK when we've asked him to step in, but it is true that Kurt is probably our best hope of winning the Super Bowl."

As the world turns, we are left (for now) with only the memories of the great Brett Favre.

Author's note: This article is in no way supposed to be truthful or a slight toward any of the players, coaches, or executives mentioned.  It's humor, people.