UFC on Fuel 3: A Fan's Guide to Fight Night

This Tuesday, UFC on Fuel TV: Korean Zombie vs. Poirier goes down in the Washington, D.C. suburb of Fairfax, Virginia. 

I'm not going to sugar coat it: This one may not be a big-time ratings bonanza. Not a lot of household names on the old playbill there. But there are some good fights to be found, and hey, at the end of the day, it's free. Hell, I'll watch lawnmower racing if it's free. Don't kid yourself: When they crash into the hay bales that line the side of the track, that's exhilarating stuff!

But it's just the nature of the beast that some cards are better than others. That's why they invented DVRs, and it's why you're reading this slideshow. We're helping you cut the wheat from the chaff by ranking the fights from least exciting to most.

And if you find you need to go grab another beer at some point during the action, even if it's on a weeknight, this will tell you when to go, you filthy alcoholic. And grab me one too this time, why don't you.

(Note: Not every fight will be available on TV, depending on time constraints.)

12. Jeff Curran vs. Johnny Eduardo

Bantamweight bout

Curran is 33-14-1 in his career. He's also 34 years old, 0-1 in his current stint in the UFC and not especially formidable at this point.

In the other corner, Eduardo's 33, also 0-1 in the UFC and also on the outside looking in.

This one is probably win or go home. Even so, it doesn't hold a ton of intrigue, at least for me, since neither man has a strong past or future in the Octagon.  

11. Alex Soto vs. Francisco Rivera

Bantamweight bout

In his first UFC fight, Soto was a late injury fill-in and got his butt kicked by Michael McDonald. He's probably happy to be back in the Octagon. In this fight Rivera's a late fill-in and probably just happy to be back in the Octagon.

I'll give the nod to Rivera because, eh, he's scarier looking. 

10. Rafael Dos Anjos vs. Kamal Shalorus

Lightweight bout

Both these guys are tough as nails, and both could really use a win. The more deliberative Shalorus, an Olympic wrestler, may have the skill set to exploit the brawling dos Anjos. 

9. Cody McKenzie vs. Marcus LeVesseur

Lightweight bout

Hey! Did you know Cody McKenzie uses a modified guillotine choke to beat everybody? No, no, it's true.

It may feel right and comfortable to label LeVesseur, a late injury replacement, as little more than a rented neck designed to cure what ails the McKenzietine, a loser of two straight. That would be a mistake. 

LeVesseur was an elite college wrestler. He's making a big leap up here, as he's never fought outside the regional circuits in and around his native Minnesota, but he has displayed a readiness for brighter lights.

His weapon of choice? The rear naked choke. He has seven wins that way. Guess what caused each of McKenzie's last two losses. We'll see if Cody can get back to living by that sword.

8. Amir Sadollah vs. Jorge Lopez

Welterweight bout

Sadollah, who got schooled by Duane Ludwig in his last engagement, needs to take care of business against a green and reckless Lopez. I think he can use his diverse, it not overpowering, skills to get it done. If he can't, his UFC career could be in a world of hurt, hilarious sense of humor or no.

Also, I think someone needs to get Mini Me a dripping candle that he can insert into the top of his head. Or an intervention. Either way.  

7. Yves Jabouin vs. Jeff Hougland

Bantamweight bout

A baby step forward for two guys hoping to test the waters of contention at 135. Jabouin sticks and moves, Hougland grounds and pounds. Winner moves ahead, loser probably consigned to eternity of bantamweight purgatory.

Both of these guys know what's at stake. That should make this one pretty exciting, especially if Jabouin can get off.

6. TJ Grant vs. Carlo Prater

Lightweight bout

You may remember Carlo Prater from such films as "Erick Silva Was About to TKO Me at UFC 142 But Then He Punched Me In the Back of the Head, So I Won By DQ." He's now facing another guy who might like to punch him a lot (or probably more likely, tear his arm off) in Grant.

Prater's got a good history in the sport, but consider me skeptical of his chances in the UFC until he proves that skepticism to be unfounded.

I gotta say, though...I love that ink. 

5. Brad Tavares vs. Dongi Yang

Middleweight bout

These kinds of cards are where Joe Silva really earns his paycheck. Anyone can schedule Jon Jones vs. Rashad Evans. But inevitably, on the free-TV-type events, I'll be looking over the card, and I'll see a name and say, "Hey, I like that guy." Then I'll look at his opponent and say, "Whoa! I like that guy, too."

This is one of those fights. Two intriguing young talents thirsty for a signature scalp.

The lumbering Yang, who fits his nickname ("The Ox") as well as anyone since Mini Me, needs to rediscover his ground and pound if he wants to get his biggest UFC win to date.

Tavares says he wants a fast knockout, but in the same sentence says he believes he can outlast Yang on the mat. 

I'm predicting either a quick end or a plodding decision. No middle ground on this one. Either way, with a combined record of 17-3, both these guys can fight. They just need to prove they can do it in the show.   

4. Jason MacDonald vs. Tom Lawlor

Middleweight bout

The unspoken theme of this fight card appears to be Fan Favorites Who Need a Win. McKenzie, Jabouin, Sadollah and now Tom Lawlor.

From fight to fight, Filthy Tom seems to range between highly entertaining and, like, the opposite of that.

In this one, he should range to the former. Not only because MacDonald probably has the edge on the ground, and not only because MacDonald doesn't really seem to take well to brawling. It's because Lawlor, 1-2 in his last three and fighting for just the fourth time in two years, could stand to remind people what really makes him valuable to the UFC. 

3. Igor Pokrajac vs. Fabio Maldonado

Light heavyweight bout

After years in the shadow of famous friend, countryman and former training partner Mirko Cro Cop, Pokrajac is breaking out. After injuries and health troubles and false starts and this and that, he has now netted two straight wins by T/KO.

Maldonado is a BJJ brown belt under the Nogueira brothers, but it's rather likely he won't be afraid to stand in front of the Croatian, hoping as he's wont to do that his chin bails him out of any rough patches. I'm not sure that, in this case, it will be able to do so.

Either way, Knockout of the Night right here.

2. Chan Sung Jung vs. Dustin Poirier

Featherweight bout

In this instance the main event probably is just about the best matchup on the card. Poirier just tears through people, whether on the feet or on the mat. Jung does the same; he's best known for The Twister, but he loves to bang it out on the feet.

And you have to love it whenever anyone is better known by his nickname than real name. They billed the card with "Korean Zombie" for Pete's sake.

I think if Poirier wins this one, he gets the next title shot, plain and simple. If Hatsu Hioki wants to put himself at the back of the line, go ahead and accommodate him.  

1. Donald Cerrone vs. Jeremy Stephens

Lightweight bout

Two sharp strikers who hunt heads whenever possible. Cerrone is more well rounded, while Stephens has a power edge.

I'm interested to see what Cerrone brings to this one. Nate Diaz broke him down pretty good in his last fight, and Cerrone doesn't seem to have forgotten. If there's a hangover, Stephens could put him out of his misery early.