Stanley Cup Playoffs 2012: Let's Bring a Little Hockey to the Game of Football

Have you noticed that hockey players don't celebrate a goal by performing for a camera? They'll find some stable stance on the skates, and throw in an arcing fist pump once in a while, but the look on their face doesn't say, "Look at me!" It says, "Wow! I can't believe how much fun this game is."

The skates and, perhaps more significantly, the ice preclude any fancy footwork that doesn't embrace the concept of balance on two thin, steel blades bolted to a pair of boots. If you try to swivel your butt or somersault for the cameras on ice skates, you're going to be on your butt, looking like a fool.

With the most recent concerns about the effects of football violence ringing in our ears, we're in the midst of the Stanley Cup playoffs. The National Hockey League has apparently not received the memo on the adverse effects of violence. That's not really fair because they do take action when players exceed a certain defined limit to violence. It is subjective by nature in a game with an inherent level of violence.

I wonder whether football could benefit and reduce the level of unnecessary violence if it were played on ice. Call it hockball or, better yet, footey,. That way, they could preserve the NFL logo.

Imagine kicking a football with skates on. Punts, kickoffs and field goals would yield an entire season of laughable landings. The line of scrimmage would be a hoot, too.

Think about how quickly your average hockey player gets from one end of the rink to the other. Put a wide receiver on skates, and he'll be out of the end zone and halfway home to Hoboken before the quarterback can read the defense.

Make them play the game with a hockey clock. Let them have their fourth period, if they want it, but let's keep it moving, shall we? On skates, trips to the sidelines and back to the huddle will be quicker (with a lot of shaved ice, as they screech on the ice to stop quickly).

Can you imagine how truly marvelous a passing touchdown would be on ice? Balance, speed, precision, timing. Far more difficult than some guy standing on grass, with all day to catch some other guy, loping down the field waiting for him to let it go.

Much of the excessive violence in football is a function of the game itself. The nose-to-nose hits at the line of scrimmage and the open field tackling are required, more or less, by rule. Take them away, and you significantly alter the game of football. 

There's nothing in the game of hockey that precludes trying to bump somebody off the puck or using the boards surrounding the rink to accomplish the same objective. But you cannot, like you can in football, deliberately take a man completely out of the play without penalty. You can't trip him, interfere with him or tackle him. Most of hockey's extracurricular violence comes from what happens after a whistle blows. Most of football's emanates from legal actions prior to a whistle.

There just isn't that much time in the game of hockey. You try to line someone up for a hit in a hockey game the way a safety does in the open football field, and the hockey opponent is just going to skate away. So it stands to reason that if you put the game of football on ice, its players on skates and keep the clock running, there'll be less in-game violence.

Prepare for a surge in the post-whistle violence, which would double since we're talking 11 guys on the field instead of five on the ice (rarely does the goalie fight).

Most importantly, what you'd really like hockey to bring to the game of football is a clearer indication by its participants that they're having fun. The difference between Alex Ovechkin scoring a goal, and either Tom Brady (throwing) or Wes Welker (catching) scoring a touchdown is a matter of attitude. Give me the jubilant smiles of hockey over the posturing of a goal-line dance any day.