140-Character Power Rankings, Player Edition

Reality TV is overrated.

First off, it’s fake. Secondly, Twitter exists—and it’s 100-percent unedited realness.

When professional athletes take advantage of social media, it’s always entertaining. And with the NBA playoffs heating up, so are players’ tweets.

In celebration of the postseason as well as freedom of speech, here is a 140-character power ranking. What are the league’s stars thinking right now? For those whose teams are still alive, something like this… 

22. Amar'e Stoudamire

@Amareisreal I can’t remember how many more times we need to beat the Heat. And fire extinguishers should be padded. #BraidsTooTight

21. Andre Iguodala

@mindofAI9 Failed to finish off Rose/Noah-less Bulls in Game 5. And no, stop asking if I have an “Owned by Luol Deng” tattoo on my back.

20. Chris Bosh

@chrisbosh Happiest man alive! We’re about to eliminate NY! My wife had a baby! Take that extinction! And my fan base doubled! #LikeABosh

19. Joe Johnson

@TheJoeJohnson2 For some odd reason, we pulled off a win in Game 5. Is advancing really better than an early vacation? #CopacabanaSwag

18. Pau Gasol

@paugasol Denver is still alive because Faried and McGee murdered me on the boards. But at least my girlfriend didn’t leave me this year.

17. Kevin Garnett

@KG Working on (expletive) up the Hawks! Pumped to (expletive) up the Pacers soon! Then we’ll (expletive) up the Heat! I love (expletive) (expletive) up for a living!

16. Rudy Gay

@rudygay22 What’s the difference between the Grizzlies this postseason and last? Wait—don’t answer that question. #24PointsLater

15. James Harden

@JHarden13 Besides the Black Mamba, name another SG in the West that’s better than me. I’ll be waiting. #FearTheBeard

14. Andrew Bynum

@AndrewBynum I’m not changing my stance. Close-out games ARE easy. We just let up in Game 5 to make a Game 6 win hurt worse #Hustlin

13. Josh Smith

@TooSmoove5 ATL was going to trade me. We’re still alive because of one person: me. And I’m playing on a bum knee too #IPutDaTeamOnMyBackDoe

12. Blake Griffin

@blakegriffin My vertical: 37 inches. Zach Randolph’s vertical: 6 inches. And you picked the Grizzlies. #LobCityClipsLobLobCityClips

11. Danny Granger

@dgranger33 I can’t wait for the playoffs…to shoot in the playoffs. Special thanks to the Magic for providing us with a warm-up series.

10. Paul Pierce

@paulpierce34 If Rondo would’ve passed me the ball on that last play I’d be watching film of Indiana. I’m one of the greatest shooters ever.

9. Dwyane Wade

@DwyaneWade Pass the basketball? In the final seconds of a one-score game? In the playoffs? Are you serious? Too who? #LeChoke

8. Carmelo Anthony

@carmeloanthony Our only chance to comeback against the Heat is for me to drop 40 points a game? Sounds like a plan. #TeamCatchAndShoot

7. Rajon Rondo

@RajonRondo 13 assists per game! Don’t make me bump you from behind! RT @paulpierce34 If Rondo would’ve passed me the ball on that last play

6. Russell Westbrook

@russwest44 I was too fast for Jason Kidd. I’m going to run circles around Ramon Sessions and Steve Blake. Screw passing. #Coast2CoastALLDAY

5. Tony Parker

@tp9network Determined to get Duncan one last ring, I sliced and diced Utah’s defense. Call it my #DesperateHouseKnife

4. Chris Paul

@CP3 Clippers are 2nd-round bound for the 1st time since…who knows? A LONG time ago. Ask Grant Hill. But don’t thank me. #ThankDavidStern

3. Kobe Bryant

@KobeBryant I love torching the Nuggets. Why? I hate gold diggers. And speaking of crazy women, poor @KenyonMartinSr, I feel your pain bro.

2. LeBron James

@KingJames I won’t lose any hair over one loss. Besides, it gifts fans with another opportunity to witness the MVP showcasing his talents.

1. Kevin Durant

@KDTrey5 KO’d the defending champs 4-0. Dirk? I outshined him. Jason Terry? I outscored him. Brian Cardinal? The Custodian? #IOutSweptHim

David Daniels is a featured columnist at Bleacher Report and a syndicated writer.

Follow @TheRealDDaniels