Report Cards for Every NBA Playoff Team So Far

We're now entering the second week of the NBA playoffs, and each series has taken on a shape of its own. Some teams have come to play, and some teams have not.

Some teams have had tragedy, others have had jubilation and at least one has had some of both.

Based on how they've played through the first week of the postseason, here are grades for every playoff team.

Utah Jazz: Kicked out of School for Failure to Comply with Standards

The Utah Jazz are getting absolutely dominated and are clearly not a team ready for the postseason. For the most part this series has resembled a battle between a grasshopper and a wood chipper.

The Jazz have just been outmatched, outscored, out-rebounded, outhustled, outcoached and crushed in every facet of the game. They've lost three games by a total of 58 points.

If you want a stat that puts things in perspective, how's this? The Jazz have taken nine more field-goal attempts than the Spurs over the course of the series and have made 27 fewer shots.

The Jazz are just not ready for the postseason and will not be assigned a grade because they haven't even met the minimum standard to get a grade.

Chicago Bulls: Pulled from School Due to Family Tragedy

The Chicago Bulls will not be receiving a grade either because of a family tragedy—namely the injury to Derrick Rose. As though that weren't enough, they lost their starting center, Joakim Noah, midway through Game 3.

There are those who like to say that "injuries are no excuse." No, they aren't an "excuse." They can be, however, valid explanations. Take the two best players off any team and see how it does.

The way the Bulls played in Game 1 and how they've played since is a clear indication of how much heartbreak there is on that team. Chicago is a team that has planned for a year on getting back to the conference finals, and right when the Bulls were ready to start fulfilling those dreams, their hopes were torn away.

Dallas Mavericks: D-

The Dallas Mavericks lost the series after Game 2. They could have won either or both of the first two games, but due to a combination of Maverick stupidity and Thunder execution they lost both games. They simply did not have the same kind of down-the-stretch clutch play they had last year.

The Mavericks didn't offer much more resistance in Game 3 when the series came to Dallas, and in Game 4 they let the Thunder come back and shut them down on their own court to become only the second NBA champion in history to get swept in a best-of-seven series in the opening round.

Atlanta Hawks: D+

The Atlanta Hawks had the better regular-season record coming in, but everyone was ready to put Boston into the second round. Atlanta won Game 1, though, and forced everyone to re-think their positions.

With Rajon Rondo being suspended for Game 2 and Ray Allen being injured, it looked like the Hawks were a sure bet to go up two games to none.

Then they promptly came out and got socked by the Boston Celtics. Boston rode a huge night by Paul Pierce to victory. 

The Hawks then got body-slammed in Game 3 in a devastating overtime loss after they charged back from 11 points down to send it to OT.

In Game 4, figuratively speaking, the Celtics gave them a swirly. It was ugly. It was a beating. It was a bullying. It was a bad day at school for the Atlanta Hawks.

New York Knicks: D+

On the bright side, the Knicks finally won a game. The last time the Knicks won a game in the postseason was in 2001.

So the Knicks get a passing grade for the mere fact of winning a single game.

However, before that they were getting their doors blown off every game. They got smacked six ways to Sunday before they finally won on Sunday. In fact, their strategy for winning appears to be boring the Heat into lethargy on the court.

Now, I'll probably be accused of being a Heat fan, but Miami was borderline indifferent in Game 4.

Hey, what can you say? It worked!

Denver Nuggets: C

This one is hard to know how to grade. In Game 1 the Nuggets were crushed and never took the lead. In Game 2 they never led but at least kept the game from getting out of hand. In Game 3 they rode a 28-2 run to victory.

They fought a hard battle in Game 4 but ultimately lost.

Here's the bottom line: If it weren't for that huge run, the Nuggets would be staying at home instead of flying back to L.A. Apart from that stretch they've come up consistently short.

Having said that, they were supposed to come up short, but they've played hard and have competed in three of the four games. That deserves a C.

Los Angles Lakers: C

The Los Angeles Lakers are getting a slightly lower grade than you might expect for a team that is in a commanding lead in their series, but there's a good reason for that. Namely, they haven't looked like a team that can make it past the second round.

The general consensus is that for the Lakers to win the title they are going to need a little less Kobe Bryant and a little more Andrew Bynum and Pau Gasol, but what we've seen is the flip side of that.

In the regular season Gasol and Bynum combined for over 36 points per game, and in the postseason they've been combining for about 32 points per game.

The Lakers have been winning, so I can't give them anything lower than a C. They haven't been winning in a way that will get them beyond the next round, so I can't give them anything higher than a C. That should explain the C.

Orlando Magic: B-

So you might be asking how come the Orlando Magic get a grade but not the Chicago Bulls. There are two reasons.

First, they knew what the situation was coming into the playoffs. Dwight Howard knew he was going to have back surgery, and the team had time to adjust to that fact.

The other reason is the Magic are the very definition of playing with house money. No one expected anything of them. The universe declared Indiana the winner.

Led, shockingly, by Glen "Big Baby" Davis, who has averaged 20 points and 9.5 rebounds a game in the postseason, they have competed in two games—even winning one.

The Magic get a B- simply because they are doing so much better than expected. And yes, I say that in spite of the fact they are down 3-1 in the series.

Memphis Grizzlies: B

Just because a team is down 2-1 in a series doesn't mean it hasn't played well. It's hard to argue that any series has been more competitive or exciting than this one.

On one hand, the Grizzlies have let the Clippers come back on them in both losses, but they've played well enough to make the Clippers have to come back in order to win. Short of a superhero effort by Chris Paul, this series could easily be 3-0 Grizzlies.

It's hard to give them anything lower than a B "bearing" that in mind.

Los Angeles Clippers: B+

I almost want to give the rest of the Clippers a B- and Chris Paul an "Oh no he didn't," but since that's not a real grade, I'll just have to average them out and give them a B+.

As I was saying in the last slide, this has been by far the most entertaining series. Really, is there any argument with that?

The converse of what I said on the Clippers slide is true here. While the Clippers have been marvelous down the stretch (and by Clippers I mean Chris Paul, of course) there's the other side of things—they are not playing as well through the first three quarters.

When I say Clippers, you say Paul.

Clippers! (points to audience)

Clippers! (points to audience)

Philadelphia 76ers: B+

On one hand, the Sixers pretty much got their hats handed to them in Game 1 with the injury to Derrick Rose sidelining him for the playoffs—and they have been feasting in his absence. On the other hand, they've been playing well, in particular well down the stretch.

Let's bear in mind this team has been criticized for not playing well down the stretch because it doesn't have a closer who it can count on. However, in Games 3 and 4 that's exactly what it's done.

Yes, the Sixers done it in the absence of Rose, but they've also done it against the NBA's best defense. While Rose isn't playing for Chicago, let's not take all credit away from Philadelphia.

Boston Celtics: B+

The only reason the Celtics don't get an A is Game 1, where they seemed to come out expecting Atlanta to be quivering and just surrender. Well, that's not how things went. 

But they learned from that, and they've played exceptionally since then. Rajon Rondo has played well when he wasn't getting suspended for bumping the refs, erp, "tripping."

The monumental dismantling of the Hawks was almost disturbing. When you see a 22-point differential and say, "It really wasn't as close at the score indicates," it's a pretty good indication of what kind of game it was. At one point the Celtics were up by 37.

Indiana Pacers: A-

After a surprising loss, the Indiana Pacers have firmly grasped this series in their hands, as they are holding a commanding 3-1 lead. They are, as the expression goes, "dancing with the girl that brung them," which is outstanding defense.

They've yielded just 83 points per game, and that includes the 99 points they gave up in the overtime game they won. They are also winning by having an assortment of players sharing the scoring load. They have four players averaging double digits and a fifth, Paul George, averaging 9.8.

The Pacers look like they're about to close out their first series win since Reggie Miller was making Spike Lee cry.

Miami Heat: A

The Miami Heat absolutely decimated the New York Knicks in the first three games but then came out in their La-Z-Boy recliners for Game 4.

The way for the Heat to get to the NBA Finals has parted like the Red Sea, and as far as the world is concerned, nothing matters until they get there. I can't help but think that some of that mentality is in them right now.

The difference in effort between the first three games and Game 4 was telling. The Heat just weren't bringing the same heat, and they still almost won. They'll probably come out slugging in Game 5 and end it.

Maybe they just wanted the series to end in Miami. I don't know.

Oklahoma City Thunder: A

I was going to give the Thunder an A+, but I felt like you can only give out one of those things—otherwise they don't mean anything. I mean, sweeping the defending champs does mean you get a little bit of credit.

They play this dangerous game with their defense, though, and that's the reason I end up using as an excuse to knock them all way down to a mere A.

By dangerous game I mean the Thunder tend to only tighten it up at the end of the game. Sooner or later that's going to catch up with them. I know that some people can't wait to see them sent home so they can rail on Russell Westbrook, but if they lose that won't be the reason why. It will be because of their inconsistent defense.

For now, though, they're riding their A and, in my humble opinion, are temporarily Nuggets fans.

San Antonio Spurs: A+

What the San Antonio Spurs have done to the Jazz is kind of like what I do to jazz when I sing. I mean, it's been that bad.

Going back to the regular season the Spurs have now won 27 of their last 30 games and have won the last 11 games their starters have played by double digits. They aren't a buzz saw right now—they're a wood chipper. They're destroying everyone and everything that steps on the court with them.

They are looking so good, so deep and have so much offense it's hard to see anyone beating them right now. The world has been waiting for the Oklahoma City vs. Miami finals, but the Spurs might best them both in back-to-back series.