The Official Kurt Warner Questionnaire

If you listened to the JoeSportsFan Radio show this past week, you likely heard a discussion we had about the unique nature of Kurt Warner’s legacy in St. Louis.  Warner’s dramatic rise to fame with the Rams was matched by his quick downfall.  After coming out of the gates at 0-4 in the 2003 season, and suffering an injury that effectively ended his season, the two-time NFL MVP saw his starting job snatched by an opportunistic Marc Bulger. 

In the summer of 2004, just two seasons after leading the Rams to their second Super Bowl in three years, Warner was released and subsequently picked up by the New York Giants. 

From that moment on, Rams fans began filing into three camps when it came to their former QB:

Camp #1 - You believe that the St. Louis Rams made a reasonable decision at that time in cutting loose Warner in favor of the younger Marc Bulger, and by no means does this indicate that you don’t like or root for Kurt Warner.

Camp #2 - You believe the St. Louis Rams never should have gotten rid of Kurt Warner, and it is no coincidence that his new team is successful and the Rams are awful.

Camp #3 - You believe the St. Louis Rams never should have gotten rid of Kurt Warner, and anybody who disagrees with that sentiment probably hates God. 

The arguments between the three parties had appeared to be a distant memory until the 37-year old Warner led the Arizona Cardinals to the 2009 Super Bowl.  As the Cardinals marched through the playoffs, the battle raged anew between the vocal minorities populating each group.

For those undecided as to which group they belong, we have crafted a simple questionnaire, which we feel should make it fairly obvious. When it comes to Rams fans and Kurt Warner, there doesn’t appear to be any gray area.

Question 1:  Between 2002 and 2006, Kurt Warner started only 31 of 80 games and threw 27 touchdowns and 30 interceptions.  During those 31 starts, his teams had a record of 8-23.  What do you feel is the primary cause for these numbers?

a.) Warner suffered from injuries and inconsistent play, and, as a result, it took a few years for him to get back to the elite levels of '99-'01.

b.) Warner was in the process of dealing with injuries, such as the one to his throwing hand, MCL and groin, and had to find a situation where the coaches wouldn’t throw him under a bus the minute he made a mistake. 

c.) It was a combination of bad luck, coaches that wanted him to fail, and the fact that Paul Tagliabue briefly made a marketing pact with Lucipher.

Question 2: Who is Marc Bulger?

a.) The QB that took over for Kurt Warner, and, after enduring years of being battered in the Rams pass-happy offense, eventually suffered many of the same issues that plagued Warner.

b.) The QB that took over for Kurt Warner, and single-handedly destroyed the Rams franchise

c.) The QB who spits on babies and slaps puppies when no one is looking.

Question 3: If the Rams would have kept Warner instead of releasing him in 2004, what record would they have posted in 2008-09?

a.) Maybe a slightly better one than their actual 2-14 record.

b.) Considering that none of the other teams in the NFC West would have Kurt Warner as their quarterback, you have to assume that they go 6-0 in the division and probably finish 11-5.   

c.) The one for most consecutive Super Bowl appearances by an NFL team.

Question 4: Had Kurt Warner not broken his pinkie in 2002, setting in motion the course of events that led him out of St. Louis, where would he be in 2009?

a.) Probably on a stretcher in the Edward Jones Dome locker room.

b.) St. Louis. And while the lack of appreciation by the fans and the front office would probably have him wanting out, he would be too classy to ask for a trade.  

c.) Still sitting atop the rankings of greatest, most unbelievably, and incredible professional athlete of all time in any sport.  Praise Jesus.

Question 5: Finish this sentence - “Mike Martz agreed to release Kurt Warner in 2004 because…”

a.) He wasn’t going to be the starter in St. Louis, and he wanted to give him an opportunity to be a starter elsewhere. 

b.) When it came to evaluating talent, Martz was a shade away from being clinically retarded.

c.) Clearly intimidated by the spirituality that Kurt brought to the locker room, Martz lashed out by putting him on the streets as a social experiment to see whether this so-called “God” that Kurt spoke of would pick him up in his time of need. Judging from the fact that Kurt is in the Super Bowl, and Mike is unemployed, he clearly has. Suck on that, Martz.

Question 6: The following sign, which was seen at a church in South St. Louis this week, was created by?

a.) Judging from the way “souper” is spelled, probably Bob Carpenter

b.) Someone, likely not from St. Louis, who is looking to highlight not only Kurt’s on-field success but also his ample off-field charitable efforts which the Rams conviently ignore. 

c.) (unable to answer because you’re standing and applauding)