USMNT: Top 10 Tweets of the Week (Vol. 6)

What do you do when you're young, gifted and famous? You open a Twitter account and tell the world your business, of course.

Musicians, actors or athletes—everyone needs to let off a little steam now and then. For those of us who cover U.S. soccer, we're just happy that so many of the players choose to do it so publicly.

This week we've got nudity, possible steroid use and a new professional contract for a U.S. youngster.

Welcome to Vol. 6 of the Top 10 Tweets of the Week from the player pool of the U.S. National Team.

No. 10: Alejandro Bedoya Rats out Clint Dempsey

Clint Dempsey can't stop scoring for Fulham. But I'm sure EPL authorities will be very interested in Alejandro Bedoya's tweet from this week outlining the substance that gives Deuce his superpowers. (From @alebedoya17):

"

This dude @clint_dempsey just can't stop scoring!! yo man give me some of that Crunk Juice! haha #BeastMode

"

Gee thanks, Alejandro. We've finally got a truly world-class field player and you go selling him out over a little bit of Crunk Juice.

What do you mean, Crunk Juice isn't a drug? Are you sure? If it's not a drug, someone explain Lil John to me.

No. 9: Juan Agudelo Has a Crush

We've all been in the gym and had someone walk in next to us who made us wonder why we even bother.

Juan Agudelo had one of those moments this week when he caught a glimpse of long-time Brazilian defender Roberto Carlos. (From @juanagudelo17):

"

Can somebody phone Roberto Carlos n ask how he got his quads that size and then get back to me please. #thanks

"

I'm guessing Crunk Juice. Someone phone FIFA and have them launch a worldwide investigation immediately. This thing goes deeper than I thought.

No. 8: Herculez Gomez Goes Loco

Back when I was growing up, if you wanted to let the world see an embarrassing picture of you, there was film to be developed, envelopes to be mailed, etc. In short, there was plenty of time to come to your senses.

Herculez Gomez could have used that extra time to reconsider posting this shot. (From @herculezg):

"

The hair is getting crazy!! Or maybe it's just me that's crazy... #cabellobello?

"

Either it was just a weak moment late at night, or Jurgen Klinsmann is putting him through a few hazing rituals before including Gomez in his next roster. How else do you explain Brek Shea's Mohawk?

No. 7: Jozy Altidore Gets Cheesy

I guess when you're young and rich, you get bored. But I don't think I've ever been bored enough to spend a day like the one Jozy Altidore spent this week. And he posted pictures to document the occasion. (From @jozyaltidore):

"

Cheese Market! #AZ

"

I'm not saying Jozy is boring, but my grandmother called and asked who the nice young man was with the great Gouda recommendation. Call me old-fashioned, but I prefer my professional athletes dating pop stars, trying to launch rap careers and pouring champagne on strippers.

No. 6: Joe Gyau Signs His Professional Contract

A lot of people believe Joe Gyau has a bright future with the U.S. National Team. The speedy winger took another step toward that big future this week. (From @joegyau36):

"

Signed my professional contract with hoffenheim!! #godisgood

"

Nothing sarcastic for this one. Just good job to Gyau and best of luck breaking into the first team.

No. 5: Brad Evans Blames the Dog

When a kid breaks a lamp, the dog did it. When shoes go missing, the dog did it. When you fart in the wrong company, the dog did it.

So we could all understand when Brad Evans blamed the dog for his ridiculous choice in driving music. (From @brad_evans3):

"

When my dogs fired up about going to the park I play techno music in the car. He likes it.

"

So the music is for the dog? Okay, Brad. But how do you explain the glow sticks and body glitter?

No. 4: Oguchi Onyewu Gets Back on the Field

Oguchi Onyewu is the presumed partner for Carlos Bocanegra in the center of the U.S. defense. But over the past few years, the big man has spent as much time hurt as he has playing. So this tweet was nice to see this week. (From @oguchionyewu5):

"

6 weeks since surgery... Today was my first full training with the team! Great to be back with the boys. Still grinding. #GodisGreat Bless!

"

Here's hoping Onyewu can get back to his sharpest form before the start of World Cup qualifying on June 8.

No. 3: Joe Gyau Gets a Little Too Much Exposure

I gave Joe Gyau a pass earlier in this countdown. I didn't come up with anything snarky to say about him signing a professional contract with Hoffenheim. He's not getting off so easy for this one. (From @joegyau36):

"

Someone knocks at my door, I answer in my boxers...It's three little girls askin for a autographed jersey... With their moms smh

"

Joe, that's what peepholes are for. No, that's not good enough.

The eager fans told reporters they were shocked that their hero was rocking Spongebob boxers? Better, but still a little weak.

And now Gyau isn't allowed within 1,000 yards of a school. Perfect.

No. 2: Heath Pearce Gets Naked

There are people who I take advice from. There are celebrities who say some enlightening things from time to time that make you rethink your own stuff. Heath Pearce took a shot at deep thoughts this week. (From @heathgpearce):

"

Everyone should spend a little time naked at home each day. #liberating.

"

At least we know who Joe Gyau is taking his cues from in the national team camp. Unfortunately, Heath forgot to mention that you put some clothes on before you answer the door.

No. 1: Kyle Beckerman as the Unlikeliest Spokesman Ever

Kyle Beckerman still has his dreadlocks. I had to check to make sure, but they're still there. So I was left scratching my head at this update posted to his Twitter. (From @kylebeckerman):

"

For the freshest haircut this side of the Mississippi. Holler @princeofcuts

"

Isn't taking haircut advice from Kyle Beckerman a little like going to the fattest person you know and asking them for weight loss tips?

Stick to what you know, Kyle.