Brewers “Not in” on Derek Lowe, Nobody Cares

So it looks like the Brewers “are not in on” Derek Lowe.

No shit. Lowe is 35, coming off the second best season of his career—and season he is unlikely to repeat—and (most importantly) demanding way too many years far too much money for any team, especially the Brewers, to feel remotely comfortable agreeing to.

But rather than pile another speculative post about why some ancient ass hat won’t be a Brewer, I will again wet my quill in the ink of improbable optimism and scribe a simple request that Milwaukee look into bringing in a player with infinite upside.

Derek Lowe is a flashy name (when did Derek Lowe become a flashy name, by the way?!?!), but I desire a man whose reputation precedes him, a player who would undoubtedly…, uh, consider a minor league offer and strongly accept any semblance of a big league bench role if so offered.

Eric Hinske.

I don’t remember if I’ve ever written about Eric Hinske, but I kind of like the guy. I don’t know if it’s his grit, the fact that we both escaped the bowels of Menasha, WI to attain bigger and better things (I barely graduated from UW-Oshkosh in five years and live alone above a hotdog joint three miles from Menasha) or if it’s the way he symbolizes what we all could be if we didn’t love myfreepaysite and burritos so goddamn much. Whatever the reason(s) are, Hinske has always been on my radar.

Boston snapped him up from Toronto in 2007; the Devil Rays got a steal of a deal for him last offseason, and I sat idly by throughout… knowing that if planets appropriately aligned, the former Rookie of the Year I so covet would eventually return to the Badger State for 250 plate appearances to be immortalized on a shirt jersey I’ll wear for novelty affect for decades to follow (See: live alone above hotdog joint three miles from Menasha).

But with the high profile minor league signings of Trot Nixon and Chris Duffy, the (actually pretty cool) probability of Brad Nelson breaking camp and Tony Gwynn Jr.’s irritating knack for remaining alive—it appears that Eric Hinske’s ship to Milwaukee has again sailed.

“But isn’t this bordering on pathetic? Why are you wasting your time? And why now?” you might be asking yourself. The quick responses to all three are:

1. Don’t judge me.

2. Says the guy reading a marginally OK Brewers blog on a Saturday.

3. Because now is the point in each increasingly painful offseason when other teams (and countries) begin to show interest in this incredible player, man and spirit. And one of them will eventually swoop in, again dashing my already dwindling hopes for Milwaukee to land him.

This Mariners blog is assembling the second best case for his services I’ve ever seen. The Red Sox were considering bringing him in again before signing Baldelli. And even Japan is drinking his Kool-Aid.

I know he won’t be a Brewer in 2009. But as long as he’s not part of another team, he’s not… not a Brewer quite yet.

So screw Derek Lowe. There’s plenty of badass players out there who have something to contribute and just want to be part of a team, without holding a payroll for ransom.

Even if that team is in Japan.