Mike Tyson: One-Man Las Vegas Show 'Confessions' Is Recipe for Disaster

Mike Tyson is nothing if not an enigma, a walking, punching train wreck in human form.

That's why I, for one, am excited for my next trip to Las Vegas, so I can score tickets to see "Iron Mike" spill his guts in a one-man show on the Strip.

According to Vegas DeLuxe, Tyson will take his talents to Sin City for a "confessions" show, in which he shares his tumultuous life story with the audience while accompanied by photos and video clips of his most infamous moments.

Nothing will be off-limits, from his ill-fated marriage to actress Robin Givens and the genesis of his ear-biting strategy against Evander Holyfield to his time in prison and the impetus for his infamous facial tattoo.

Who better to tell that twisting tale than the former heavyweight champion of the world himself?

Perhaps he'll have some words of wisdom to offer Dereck Chisora and David Haye, who came to blows at a press conference following the former's loss to Vitali Klitschko this past weekend. Maybe (just maybe) he'll call for Manny Pacquiao and Floyd Mayweather Jr. to just do the darn thing already.

Or, quite possibly, he'll do what Charlie Sheen did—that is, parlay his celebrity infamy into an awkwardly interactive circus while making full use of his GED-level vocabulary.

Whatever the case may be, I wouldn't recommend waiting around to buy tickets once they hit the box office. They figure to go faster than $300 million through Tyson's pockets.

Which is to say, faster than you ever thought possible.

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