Super Bowl 2012: 5 Reasons to Not Watch the Giants vs. Patriots

Matthew Yazo@@matthewyazoContributor IFebruary 2, 2012

Super Bowl 2012: 5 Reasons to Not Watch the Giants vs. Patriots

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    Super Bowl XLVI has arrived in Indianapolis, and with it, a plethora of fanfare and media hype.

    More than a billion people will most likely tune into the yearly spectacle.

    For many of them, it will be the only football game they see all year.  

    For others, it will be the last of many on the season.

    And then there are those who don't even like football, but are watching it because everyone else is.

    However, there are a few quick and prudent reasons why not to watch the annual extravaganza.

    They are as follows.

1. You Don't Live in New York or Boston

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    As soon as this matchup became official, the entire Eastern Seaboard was abuzz with all sorts of hoopla and hooray's.

    Meanwhile, the rest of the country let out a big raspberry-like sigh of disappointment.  

    The New England Patriots versus the New York Giants.

    Boston versus New York.

    Here we go again.

    Let's face it folks: Other than their own fans, nobody likes these two teams.

    Neither possess the Green Bay Packers' nostalgia nor the heartstrings of the New Orleans Saints.

    The New York Giants have burned every bridge possible across the NFC, and the Patriots have done exactly the same in the AFC.

    Super Bowl XLVI smells like a bad election year. Fans will be rooting/voting for the lesser of two evils.

    49er fans will want to see the Giants lose. Ravens fans will want to see the Pats lose. Etcetera, etcetera.

    This does not make for good Super Bowl excitement—unless, of course, your entertainment sports news network is headquartered out of Bristol, Conn.

2. You're Excited for Madonna's Halftime Show

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    Let me end the suspense by revealing my bold prediction for Super Bowl XLVI: Madonna's halftime show will not be good.

    Unless of course there's another wardrobe malfunction. Except in her case I'm sure such things wouldn't be an accident.

    Maybe this would be cool if it were 1987 or even 1992.

    At this point, they might as well of had The Monkees or Devo, or even an encore of Chubby Checkers make it out for this shindig.

    Or maybe I was indeed missing the point.

    Maybe Madonna was perfect for such a venue.

    After all, we all know who the halftime show is really for: Women who hate football, but are forced to watch it.


3. You Are a San Francisco 49ers Fan

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    There isn't a single San Francisco 49er fan alive who can look at this picture of Kyle Williams without cringing.

    The pain of such a gut-wrenching loss still sticks to the bottom of their stomachs and shoes like a big, disgusting wad of gum.

    It just won't go away.

    In turn, 49er fans wallow in the hopes that maybe Tom Brady can exercise a smidgen of revenge.

    Many of the 49er faithful will watch this game—but I can guarantee they won't like it.

    Others will just skip it altogether and go hiking instead.

    But don't worry, 49er fans. You're not alone in this. As football mirrors life, misery loves company...

2. You Are a Baltimore Ravens Fan

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    San Francisco 49er fans had no better date to Super Bowl XLVI than the fans of the Baltimore Ravens.

    While the 49ers' season was a surprise in many regards, the Ravens were poised for Super Bowl glory from Day 1.

    This loss hurt.

    Big time.

    Joe Flacco did his job. The defense did theirs.

    But it came down to ol' Lee Evans, some questionable coaching calls and a kicker who'll remain nameless.

    And in a flash, the Ravens lost and the Patriots won.

    There is no consolation to this.  

    There is no, "We'll get 'em next year," because this was the year they were supposed to "Get 'em."

    The Baltimore Ravens and their fans will now be forced to watch one of their hated rivals face off against a team that nobody else likes in a battle for all the NFL marbles.

    Pull up a seat, Baltimore.

    First round's on the house.

5. You Are at the Most Awesome Super Bowl Party of All Time

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    Ah yes, the Super Bowl party.

    It's hard to say it in one's head without sounding like Homer Simpson.

    It's become a national holiday of sorts. Bringing all sorts of random people out of the woodwork to watch a game that probably 90 percent of the people in the room could care less about.

    Sure, there will be that one fan who's glued to the TV and annoyed that he showed up to a party where he's the only one watching the game.

    But forget about that guy, and just enjoy the fact there are only a few occasions in life when it's perfectly acceptable to stuff your face with empty calories and drink copious amounts of alcohol without anyone looking at you funny.

    Because, whether you're a fan of the sport or not, Super Bowl Sunday is bigger than football.

    So, be safe, have fun and remember, if you wind up missing any of the game because you're too stuffed to move or you had to make another beer run, don't worry...

    That's what the Bleacher Report game recaps are for.

    Cheers, everybody!

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