2012 Super Bowl: Halftime Acts NFL Fans Want to See Instead of Madonna

Madonna is an excellent choice for the halftime show at the 1986 Super Bowl. Oh wait, this is the 2012 Super Bowl. 

Madonna hasn't been fit for Super Bowl halftime entertainment since long before she had a British accent. The Material Girl has spent the majority of the last decade in a desperate and futile attempt to stay relevant. 

Long gone are the days of hit songs or trend-setting fashions. 

I understand that the halftime committee has trended toward aging acts since the infamous Janet Jackson Nipplegate, but it went too far this time. 

It is one thing to put on The Who or Bruce Springsteen. These are artists playing rock and roll with a band. Those performances are about far more than the singer—they are about the energy of the music created by the band. 

Madonna's brand of pop music is about her singing, dance moves and fashion. And no one really cares about any of those things when it comes to Madonna today. 

So, in light of this, here are some suggestions of acts that would have been far more entertaining. 

Music Acts

Pearl Jam, Metallica, Dr. Dre and Snoop Dog, Black Sabbath, Cream and Green Day are just a sampling of the aging acts that would have been more entertaining than Madonna at Super Bowl XLVI. 

If the committee were brave enough to go with something more current, it could have chosen this generation's Madonna: Lady Gaga. 

But, you know what, why just stick to music? 

Monkey on a Dog

Maybe it's just time to do away with the musical halftime performances altogether. This could be the start of the monkey-riding-a-dog era for the Super Bowl halftime show. 

This monkey-and-dog tandem would obviously be the leading candidate. It has the experience and the goods to pull it off. 

Still, just one monkey on a dog may not be enough to carry the halftime show. I suggest they set up a track and have 10 tandems race! 

Betty White Singing 'Somewhere Over the Rainbow'

As long as the committee is having old women sing old hits, it could at least get someone with the potential of being entertaining. 

Nothing

That's right, nothing at all would be a step up from this atrocity of a halftime show.