IMPACT 1/12: World Title Match, No. 1 Contender Match, Genesis Fallout (Humor)

Genesis is not over. You heard me right. 

Genesis is NOT over! This episode of IMPACT had two rematches from the pay-per-view, and actually had a better ending than the matches at Genesis.

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Time for IMPACT.

Opening Segment

World Heavyweight Champion and leader of the selfish generation, Bobby Roode, comes out. He asks for Jeff Hardy to come and accept his defeat from Genesis.

Roode kicked ref Brian Hebner in the yambag region to retain at Genesis, if you didn't know by now.

Instead, Sting comes out.

The two talk about the title match at Genesis and you know what? Sting wants to see a rematch. On IMPACT, Hardy vs. Roode in a rematch.

'Direct Cheap Plug' of the Night

Get it? Instead of 'Direct IMPACT' of the night? Just forget I mentioned it.

Earlier today, for some reason, a cameraman followed Matt Morgan to a Direct Auto Insurance office to make some payments. 

Morgan's partner Crimson was just leaving. How funny, right?

Crimson took Morgan's advice and Morgan sucked up to Direct for the cheap plug of the night.

They have a match against Robbie E and Rob Terry on IMPACT, but Crimson could care less.

Robbie E and Rob Terry vs. Champions, Matt Morgan and Crimson

It's a non-title match, by the way. Just reminding everyone of who is the champ... Robbie E is TV Champion. My dude...

If you were to recreate this match using IMPACT action figures, you'd have Rob Terry, Matt Morgan, and Crimson. My dude Robbie E would be a little LEGO man compared to these three guys.

Crimson throws Robbie across the ring via t-bone suplex. Morgan gets ready to do a Carbon Footprint but instead, uses it to launch Big Rob off the ring apron.

Robbie gets up and gets powered down with a double choke slam-type move.

Winners: Crimson and Matt Morgan

Robbie E is left in a pool of his own fake-tanner, but at least he got on TV. He's TV Champion, he should be on TV a lot more. He's awesome.

Samoa Joe and Magnus get in a post-match attack on the champs. Just what I had hoped for!

Joe and Magnus take out the champs and hold their championships high above their heads. Another match at Against All Odds, please?

Bischoff Daddy-issues

Eric Bischoff is shown approaching the ring. Tenay refers to him as the "Immortal boss." Geez, they died in October! If Fortune is gone, Immortal should be too!

Eric starts talking about what a success and influence he was in Garett's life.

Garett shows up. He tells Eric that he's a wrestler. He'll never leave and never quit. No matter what his dad, Gunner, or anyone says or does.

He starts to walk out but "Easy E" pulls him back. Garett forces his dad into the corner and tells him to never touch him.

Garett seems to have had Fruity Pebbles for breakfast yesterday. A real Cena-type attitude in this segment.

Winter wants to be Relevant

Angelina Love and Winter are shown backstage.

Winter wants to be relevant in IMPACT again. She plans on doing so after defeating ODB later tonight. She is a two-time Knockouts Champion and vanished quicker than a fart in the wind. Boom! Shawshank! Thank me, you're welcome.

Angelina reminds Winter that she is a five-time, five-time, five-time, five-time, FIVE-TIME Knockouts Champion! She wants to be relevant, too.

Anyone see possible trouble in WinterLand?

Two Crazy, Full Grown Kids

We get a recap of how Eric Young and ODB became so close in recent weeks.

EY calls them "two crazy kids that are in love". Nice step-up from Orlando, EY.

Now backstage, ODB says she was hot and excited last week. One kiss is no big deal in her eyes.

Winter w/ Angelina Love vs. ODB w/ Eric Young

The two Knockouts work a pretty good match, EY provides comic relief, Tazz and Tenay kind of make fun of ODB's size and weight, which isn't cool.

What is this? The WWE? Call the damn match, stop playing around behind the table.

At one point, Angelina steps into the ring but is stopped by EY. He takes her up in an Airplane Spin and spins her right round, right round. 

Angelina falls down, rolls out of the ring and EY spun himself out of the ring.

ODB grabs Winter and BAM!

Winner: ODB

That's ODB's finishing move. BAM! I like it.

Say what you will, but I think EY is helping ODB out right now. Before, she could never get on TV. Pairing with EY got her on TV for like, four consecutive weeks.

Fortune Fight

AJ Styles asks Kazarian to explain his reason for walking out on him last week.

Kazarian comes and says he can't tell AJ why.

Daniels comes out and says he can. He tells AJ that Kazarian said AJ is a loser. Kazarian doesn't want to hang out with losers like AJ, which is why he's now friends with a "true winner" in Daniels.

Daniels tears into AJ and tells Kazarian to leave the ring. AJ throws a microphone 99 mph into Daniels' back and then attacks him. Kazarian pulls Daniels out of the ring and they leave together.

Bully Ray has Twitter?

Bully Ray is talking about Twitter and how he was trending during Genesis. Bobby Roode is more concerned about his title match later rather than Twitter.

Bully says he'll help Roode only if he gets a title shot sometime.

Roode accepts Bully's help in the future.

There's a Storm Coming

James Storm calls out Kurt Angle to talk about Genesis.

Storm wants a rematch right now, but Kurt isn't dressed to compete and it's his night off.

Sting comes out and announces that if Roode cheats or gets disqualified, he'll be stripped of the title. Then, he makes Storm vs. Angle for tonight a number one contender's match.

Number One Contender

James Storm vs. Kurt Angle

The two work, what I call, the MotN.

It's given good time, lots of back and forth action, and both guys break out of each others finishing moves.

Storm does an ankle lock, Angle does a stupid kick. I'd call it a super kick, but Kurt's kicks aren't so super.

In the end, Storm hits Angle with two knees to the face followed by a super kick. Pulling the win out of nowhere, and the new number one contender, James Storm.

Winner: James Storm

Next week, it's going to Rayne

Madison Rayne finds Sting backstage and asks him to officially name her the VP of the Knockouts division.

Sting says he can't do that. Madison isn't the right choice for the job.

Sting actually books her in a match for next week.

A Knockouts Cage match against Mickie James!

World Heavyweight Championship

Jeff Hardy vs. Champion, Bobby Roode

This match is given good timing too, and has its share of entertainment.

Hardy took a nasty slam into the guard rail after a missed move. It looked painful—at least Roode was safe.

Towards the end, Hardy kept hitting Twists of Fate and going for Swatons.

Roode kept kicking out. Hardy went for round two of his Twist/Swaton combo and went for a cover.

The referee started the count but got pulled out of the ring by Bully Ray. Bully kicks Brian Hebner in the face to my entertainment. Eat that, Hebner.

Match thrown out.

The show ends with Roode hugging his title on the floor, Bully telling Hardy that he can't beat Roode and Hardy wondering what the hell happened.

Well, it's closing time.

"You don't have to go home but you can't stay here"

Overall, this IMPACT was running on A; for average. Storm/Angle and Hardy/Roode really turned the show up a notch. Both were good matches.

Pros

• Samoa Joe and Magnus aren't done yet. Attacking the champs should definitely set up a rematch, be it on PPV or not. I like the team of Joe and Magnus and I'm happy to see IMPACT isn't wasting them with a spot on the sidelines.
• ODB vs. Winter. I enjoyed pretty much every part of this match.
• James Storm vs. Kurt Angle. Good match, feud most likely over, new number one contender, start of Storm vs. Roode Heavyweight title feud! 
• Hardy vs. Roode. The two worked a good match, I think a clean finish would've made this perfect, but Bully's interference sets up a feud with Hardy. Hardy can be out of the title hunt and put into a potentially entertaining feud with the bully.

Cons

• Direct Auto Insurance plug. We get it. No more cheap plugs to this extent. I thought writing their name on a turnbuckle was a bit far, but this? THIS?! It was just another dumb plug.
• Bischoff Daddy-issues. Eric Bischoff is less relevant than Mark Haskins right now. Why give him TV time? Garett is a wrestler, we've seen it last week. Eric saw that last week. Why does this father/son thing need to continue? Let Garett be a wrestler, let Eric be a free agent, and call it done.
• Hardy vs. Roode finish. I said that a clean finish over Hardy would've been the perfect ending, but this way does set up a feud between Hardy and Bully Ray. 

Reminder: Check out EnigmaticWrestling.com!

Also, for my enjoyment, here's the link to a "Macho Man" Randy Savage dragon in the game, Elder Scrolls: Skyrim.

Tonight, I am going to a LIVE IMPACT event! Hell yeah! Okay...thanks for reading.