Wild Card Weekend Edition: The Absolutely Worst of the NFL

The NFL Playoffs are upon us, the annual celebration of  the best of the NFL. The eight division champions and four wild-card teams have conquered weeks of training camp, four preseason games and 17 weeks of relentless regular-season competition.

The eight teams playing this Wild Card Weekend have come out on top of the richest, most balanced, and most competitive sports league on the planet. Yet somehow, they can still give us a weekend full of groan-inducing mistakes, missed opportunities, and facepalms aplenty.

After spending all weekend celebrating football's best, let's take time to celebrate those awful plays, players, and games that let us appreciate the great stuff all the more. Let's celebrate The Absolutely Worst of the NFL.

The Absolutely Worst Feel-Good Story: Cincinnati Bengals

The Bengals did everything wrong this offseason. They retained languishing Head Coach Marvin Lewis. They refused to trade QB Carson Palmer, and then drafted QB Andy Dalton to start right away in his stead. They replaced the depleted receiving corps by drafting another WR, A.J. Green—and yes, plugging him into starting lineup.

Except for Lewis, the Bengals blew up nearly all remaining connections to their most recent success. They were doomed to spend years re-rebuilding. Curmudgeonly owner Mike Brown had finally ripped out the collective hearts of all Bengals fans everywhere, right?

Wrong—for a little while. Defying all odds, logic and reason, the Bengals rolled to 9-7. They shocked a lot of people along the way, especially when they punctuated their success by finding a suitor willing to overpay for Carson Palmer. Also, when they earned a playoff berth against the limping, reeling clinched-the-division-weeks-ago Houston Texans.

Could the Queen City Kitties rise up and shock the world?

Nope. Dalton threw three picks and was sacked four times. He was unable to keep up with fellow rookie T.J. Yates. The surprise feel-good story of the year ended when its subject couldn't muster a single second-half point.

Oh well, Cincy. There's always next year.

The Absolutely Worst Good Offense: Atlanta Falcons

The Atlanta Falcons had the NFL's seventh-best scoring offense in the NFL this season, averaging 25.1 points per game. In this Wild Card Weekend, they faced off against the New York Giants' 25th-ranked scoring defense—allowing 25.0 points per game.

So how come they couldn't score a single point when it mattered most?

For a guy whose nickname, "Matty Ice," refers to his precocious grace under pressure, turning in 24-of-41 attempts for a meager 199 yards is anything but cool.

Special note must be taken of the Falcons' two failed fourth-down quarterback sneaks. "If at first you don't succeed, try, try again" is a great personal motto, but a terrible fourth-down play-calling philosophy.

The Absolutely Worst Pass Coverage, AFC: Pittsburgh Steelers

They had to have known it was coming.

The Steelers were in Denver, in overtime, facing Tim Tebow. They had to have known. The Steelers weren't just trying to stop Tebow and the Broncos offense; they were fighting whatever supernatural forces keep guiding the Broncos to victory this season.

Inexplicably, the Steelers chose to park their entire defense within five yards of the line of scrimmage, and Broncos WR Demaryius Thomas rightly took that as an open invitation to the end zone.

No one could have predicted the No. 1 scoring defense in the NFL would allow an 80-yard touchdown on the first play of the sudden-death period—but nobody was surprised when Tim Tebow and the Broncos found a way to win when it mattered.

Well, nobody that wasn't wearing yellow and black.

The Absolutely Worst Pass Coverage, NFC: Detroit Lions

Down by 10 points with 7:39 left in the fourth quarter, and the Lions defense still had a chance to keep their playoff dream alive. They'd backed the Saints into a 2-and-17; if they could keep Brees from converting and get Matthew Stafford the ball, the Lions could claw back in it.

Instead, cornerback Alphonso Smith let Saints Receiver Robert Meachem run past him, thinking he had safety help. The safety in question, Louis Delmas, had other ideas.

The result: Meacham was laughably open, plunging a 56-yard dagger into the Lions' collective heart.

It might not have been quite as bad if just minutes before, the Lions hadn't forgotten to cover lethal red-zone target Jimmy Graham when the Saints were three yards out.