Mets' Robinson Cano Says He Sometimes Cried During Suspension Season

Adam WellsApril 19, 2022

FILE - In this Aug. 17, 2020, file photo, New York Mets' Robinson Canó (24) walks to the dugout during a baseball game against the Miami Marlins in Miami. Canó was suspended for 162 games by Major League Baseball on Wednesday, Nov. 18, 2020, after his positive test for a performance-enhancing drug. The 38-year-old Canó will miss the entire 2021 season and lose $24 million in salary. (AP Photo/Lynne Sladky, File)
AP Photo/Lynne Sladky, File

New York Mets second baseman Robinson Cano opened up about not being able to play during the 2021 season after Major League Baseball suspended him 162 games for testing positive for a performance-enhancing drug. 

Speaking to Kirsten Fleming of the New York Post, Cano said "sometimes I cried" because he was unable to play and feeling like he let himself and his teammates down. 

"To be honest, that’s something you don’t have the words to describe how bad you feel, not only as an athlete but as a person. You want to disappear," he explained.

Cano went on to say that he experienced depression, but he didn't seek professional help or discuss his mental health with his family. 

"No, I don’t want to speak to nobody," he told Fleming. "I don’t want to tell anybody. I didn’t want my family to see me like that. I’m the happiest guy always smiling. I don’t want to take that away. I don’t want my kids to see me like this. When I am with my kids, I try to be the happiest man in life."

The suspension was announced in November 2020. It was his second time being disciplined for performance-enhancing drugs. He was suspended for 80 games during the 2018 season when he was playing for the Seattle Mariners. 

Before reporting to spring training last month, Cano told Fleming he called several Mets teammates, including Jacob deGrom and Francisco Lindor, to apologize for his suspension. 

"As veteran players, they deserve that respect," Cano said. 

Mets manager Buck Showalter told reporters at the start of spring training that Cano was "comfortable" in the locker room and happy to be back with the team. 

The Mets acquired Cano and Edwin Diaz from the Mariners for Jay Bruce, Jarred Kelenic, Anthony Swarzak, Gerson Bautista and Justin Dunn in December 2018. 

Cano is hitting .217/.250/.348 in six games this season. The 39-year-old hit his first homer of the year last Friday against the Arizona Diamondbacks. 

The Mets are off to a 7-3 start. Only the Los Angeles Dodgers and San Francisco Giants have a better record in MLB.