Toronto Maple Leafs: Is Brian Burke the NHL's Mad Scientist?

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Toronto Maple Leafs: Is Brian Burke the NHL's Mad Scientist?
Bruce Bennett/Getty Images

Good news, Leaf fans! Brian Burke is a genius! 

Have you ever really looked at Brian Burke's hair? It bears a striking resemblance to a certain German-born theoretical physicist by the name of Albert.

Oh sure, Brian Burke may comb his hair on a regular basis, but did you see it up in that press box when the Maple Leafs dropped into 29th place in the 2009-2010 season? Huh? Did you? 

The resemblance was uncanny! 

Need further proof?

Albert Einstein died in 1955, just two and a half months prior to the birth of Toronto Maple Leafs President and General Manager Brian Burke! 

I know!  It's been right in front of our eyes this whole time. 

With all of Leafs Nation searching desperately for a clue as to what the man has been working on for this upcoming season, I took it upon myself to sneak into the long, dark, empty hallways of the Air Canada Center.

Sneaking by a very statuesque security guard and a strange-looking janitor sleeping on the job, I started looking for something - anything - that might shed some light on his future plans for the season of 2011-2012. 

I found something beyond my wildest dreams! Stashed away in the boiler room, under a tarp, I noticed something very peculiar.

It was some sort of contraption with the words "Truculence X-2011" etched across the front. 

And then it hit me.

That's not a security guard!  It's a life-sized cardboard cut-out of Pat Burns dressed up as a Police Officer! 

That wasn't a janitor! That was John Ferguson! OK, maybe he WAS a janitor, but that's beside the point.

And that's not a water-heater!

It's a time machine! 

All of this Brad Richards talk has simply been a cover-up to distract us from what is really going on here!

Let's take a look at our roster for the 2011-2012 season and see who Brian Burke has signed.

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