NHL Power Rankings: The 20 Worst Hockey Card Photos Ever
I don't know about you guys, but when I was younger I cherished my hockey cards almost as much as the game itself. I used to smile from ear to ear when I found a rare Wayne Gretzky or Mario Lemieux card in my pack of O-Pee-Chees.
But sometimes that smile turned into a full-blown laugh. Some of the photos on the cards were, well, hideous.
Whether it was the photographer to blame for not doing his job properly or just plain bad production by the manufacturers, sometimes the cards turned from prized possessions to downright jokes.
I scoured the Web to look for the 20 worst hockey card photos that I could find.
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20. Craig Johnson, 1996-1997 Upper Deck
Remember Craig Johnson? He's one of the players—the key one, at that—the Los Angeles Kings received from the St. Louis Blues in the Wayne Gretzky trade.
Here Johnson is depicted during his first season as a King.
The expression on his face screams: "Is this jersey for real?"
19. Cam Neely, 1991-1992 Score
Nothing downplays the intensity of former Bruins star Cam Neely quite like a cartoonish card complete with a Batman-like "Bam!"
Neely was a part of the "Crunch Crew," which had nothing to do with cereal...
18. Peter Forsberg, 1991-1992 Upper Deck
I had no idea that Peter Forsberg was only 12 years old when he was drafted sixth overall by the Philadelphia Flyers at the 1991 NHL entry draft. At least he looked it.
Thanks to Eric Lindros' parents, Forsberg wouldn't play his rookie year in Philly and would go on to be a key factor in the Colorado Avalanche's Stanley Cup wins.
17. Scott Niedermayer, 1991 Arena Draft Picks
Scott Niedermayer was an elite NHL defenseman. He has won every piece of hockey hardware that you could name, from gold medals to Stanley Cups.
He was one of the best defensemen of his era.
He was so good that he could play hockey in a tuxedo. I'm not quite sure why he'd chose to, though.
16. Jimmy Howard, 2005-2006 Black Diamond
Jimmy Howard has really come into his own as the Detroit Red Wings' starting goaltender.
I came across his rookie card.
In it, Howard seems to be stretching—in space!
15. Jaromir Jagr, 1990-1991 Score
In this, a card documenting Jaromir Jagr after he was selected in the 1990 NHL entry draft, Jagr seems reticent in wearing the cap presented to him by the Pittsburgh Penguins.
Perhaps he doesn't want to hide his haircut.
On second thought, it's hard to tell if the famed mullet has come in at this point. Jagr is certainly sporting the "business in the front" look, though.
14. Joe Juneau, 1995-1996 Upper Deck "Be a Player"
Here's a fact: Along with being a great hockey player, Joe Juneau also studied aeronautical engineering, making him an actual rocket scientist.
Here's a less important fact: As depicted on this hockey card (for some reason), Juneau also likes playing the drums.
13. Alex Ovechkin, 2005-2006 Beehive
Ever wonder what Alex Ovechkin would look like in a yearbook photo?
Here his is depicted in the old Washington Capitals black jersey after he was drafted.
Or is he wearing a pullover? I'm not too sure.
12. Larry Robinson, 1975-1976 O-Pee-Chee
Larry Robinson looks like he's in the midst of saying something in this photo.
"Hey guys, does my moustache look alright?"
No, Larry, it doesn't. Neither does your haircut.
The 1970s were cruel, weren't they?
11. Rick Vaive, 1980-1981 O-Pee-Chee
Poor Rick Vaive.
I'm not quite sure what prompted the manufacturer of this card to do such a terrible job at airbrushing the former Toronto Maple Leaf forward's hair, but I'm sure he didn't appreciate it.
I, however, do.
10. Doug Gilmour, 1994-1995 Upper Deck "Be a Player"
Doug Gilmour was one of the most beloved Toronto Maple Leaf golfers in recent history.
Er, I mean, one of the most beloved hockey players...
9. Anders Hedberg, 1977-1978 O-Pee-Chee WHA
Anders Hedberg was one of the first European-born hockey players to play in North America. He played for the Winnipeg Jets in the WHA and was extremely impressive. He was eventually signed to a contract by the New York Rangers in 1978 and went on to play seven seasons with the Blueshirts.
If this hockey card is any indication, he was also a homicidal maniac.
8. Manon Rheaume, 1994-1995 Sports Stars USA
Manon Rheaume played two preseason games as a goaltender for the Tampa Bay Lightning.
This hockey card depicts her looking sexy in a chair.
I'm not sure what any parties involved were thinking, or why they opted for the Zubaz print, but the card does not say much about Rheaume's playing career.
7. Glen Hanlon, 1987-1988 O-Pee-Chee Minis
In his entire NHL playing career, Glen Hanlon never posted a save percentage of over .900.
On the plus side, Hanlon was photographed in a compromising position. That photo was made into a hockey card.
6. Pavel Bure, 1991-1992 Upper Deck
Pavel Bure was one of the most talented NHL forwards of all time. The Russian Rocket surpassed the 50-goal mark five times in his injuury-shortened career (twice reaching 60).
Here he is depicted in short-shorts and in-line skates at the beach.
5. Randy Cunneyworth, 1989-1990 O-Pee-Chee
Randy Cunneyworth had a long NHL career. He currently is the head coach of the AHL's Hamilton Bulldogs, the Montreal Canadiens' farm team.
In one of the worst displays of airbrushing I have ever seen, O-Pee-Chee released a Cunneyworth Winnipeg Jets card before he played for the team.
It looks as if his body is being taken over by a cartoon character.
4. Mike Grier, 1996-1997 Upper Deck
Current Buffalo Sabres winger Mike Grier has had an illustrious career in the NHL as a defensive forward.
Apparently, he is a fan of pepperoni pizza and wearing his watch under his full equipment.
I wish he'd chew with his mouth closed.
3. Dominik Hasek, 1997-1998 Donruss Studio Press Proofs Silver
Dominik Hasek won the Vezina Trophy, awarded to the league's best goaltender, six times while he was with the Buffalo Sabres. It was clear that he was a force to be reckoned with.
In this photo, we see The Dominator showing off his pensive, sensitive side.
I wouldn't want to mess with that guy, would you?
2. Doug Risebrough, 1975-1976 O-Pee-Chee
The photo of Doug Risebrough on his rookie card with the Montreal Canadiens is a terrible one.
It is perhaps the worst photo of Doug Risebrough ever taken.
It is so bad, in fact, that it isn't even him in the photo. It's teammate Bob Gainey.
1. Wendel Clark, 1994-1995 Upper Deck "Be a Player"
Wendel Clark was a great leader on the Toronto Maple Leafs.
On this card he is depicted holding a dumbell.
Unfortunately, you can't really tell if he's working out. It looks more like he's in the process of driving a tractor, to be honest.