Just Like That... A Cowboys Fan's Guide to Coping With Defeat

To all of the Dallas Cowboy fans out there who find yourselves struggling with the inability to define your current feelings and emotions about yesterday's game, I'm here to help.  The following list briefly defines the 5 Stages of Grief:

Denial- If you have refused to talk with anyone about the game; if you have not watched ESPN's post game commentary; if you refuse to read today's newspaper; if you cannot bring yourself to listen to those loudmouth, know-it-all radio talking heads....if you went into work today with your Dallas Cowboys 'Got Five?' t-shirt on today, then you're in denial.

Anger -  If there's a brick wedged in the middle of the flat screen TV you just got for Christmas; if you're feeling the urge to organize a grass roots effort to boycott Jessica Simpson, complete with burning effigies; if you spit on spot at the sudden image of Patrick Crayton's gigantic bug-eyes; if you want to take a Shaquille O'Neal sized cleat and practice place kicking with Flozell Adam's butt while shouting "FALSE START THIS!";  if you suddenly see Wade Phillips as a dumb, non-chalant idiot because during the most crucial time of the season he let his asistant coaches go on head coaching interviews and let his key players take time off to chill in Cabo - as if getting paid millions of dollars to play football 6 months out of the year isn't motivation enough to keep focused...umm, perhaps you're angry.

Bargaining - If you had hope that on 4th and 11 with 9 seconds left in the game, Tony Romo was going to throw a miracle touchdown pass to Terrell Owens because it seemed impossible to believe that a team being led by Eli Manning could pull off a win, then you were bargaining.

Depression - If you have refused to talk to anyone about the game; if you have not watched ESPN's post game commentary; if you refuse to read today's newspaper...wait... that's denial, not depression... *sighs* (I'm a little confused)...but, yeah, if you haven't already begun to look ahead to the draft or August pre-season, then you're depressed.

Finally, Acceptance - Well, this is a tough one.  I can't really comment on this because, frankly, I'm not there yet.  If you are reading this, feel the same way, and think you'll feel this way for awhile - then you're a Cowboy's fan.