Quote Misquote:Roger Federer, Stanislas Wawrinka, Novak Djokovic Et Al (Satire)

Linus FernandesAnalyst IIFebruary 1, 2011

MELBOURNE, AUSTRALIA - JANUARY 25:  Stanislas Wawrinka of Switzerland (R) shakes hands with Roger Federer also of Switzerland after Federer beat him in the quarterfinal match on day nine of the 2011 Australian Open at Melbourne Park on January 25, 2011 in Melbourne, Australia.  (Photo by Clive Brunskill/Getty Images)
Clive Brunskill/Getty Images


"I have no idea. Sorry. I have no idea why."

What he really meant:

I don’t know why Europeans dominate tennis right now. I just play, man, don’t bother me.

What he definitely didn’t:

The Europeans have stolen the Americans’ and Australians’ spinach and will keep popping them in the eye.  

(Popeye refrain "I’s bin hornswoggled!” in background.)


"What do you expect what a Swiss guy would say?"

"We put it in the banks, yes, that’s what we do. And we sit on top of it. Then we’ll see later on what we do with it. Yeah, I’m not going to tell you, no. Sorry!"

What he really meant:

What I do with my money is none of your damned business.

What he definitely didn’t:

I welcome all such questions that ought to concern me and my investment adviser only.


"I didn’t spend that much time in my country after the victory. It was two days and two nights celebration…Our goal was three days, but after the second day, we were already in hospital."

What he really meant:

We know how to party. We partied real hard after our Davis Cup win and we’re going to raise the roof in Melbourne.

What he definitely didn't:

I’m going to have an ice bath and a good night's sleep to celebrate when I win the Australian Open.


"No, I feel fantastic!"

"No, I heard everything. But is nice."

"That’s a very good feeling!"

What he really meant:

It’s a huge ego boost to have the women whistle and click pictures of me when I take off my shirt.

What he definitely didn’t:

I’m going to walk the ramp—as a profession.


”Well, yesterday I got the question by the media, they said that my press conferences were kind of boring. Yeah, that I always gave the same answers. You know, I find it quite, you know, funny because I always get the same questions. So I’m just going to start. I know what you’re going to ask me already. So I’m just going to start with the answer."

What she really meant:

I intend to preempt your questions by providing you the answers right away.

What she definitely didn’t:

I can read your minds.


"The guy in the yellow t-shirt, I make a lot of jokes for him, doesn’t matter if you are fat or skinny or handsome or ugly, I always follow you, I always love you"

What she really meant:

My husband’s my biggest fan and I am his biggest fan—in turn.

What she definitely didn’t:

I poke fun at my husband.


“Psoas. I guess a strain of some type.”

“It’s a muscle.”

”No, it’s a psoas.”

What she really meant:

A strain of the psoas major—a long muscle located on the thoracic region of the vertebral column and brim of the lesser pelvis—is the cause of my retirement from the match against Andrea Petkovic.

What she definitely didn’t:

My Alice In Wonderland outfit caused the strain.


"Oh, the outfit is inspired by Alice in Wonderland. Yeah, don’t laugh. But it’s kind of about a surprise, because when Alice goes down the hole, the rabbit hole, she finds all these things that are so surprising. This outfit is about having a surprise in tennis a dress, and kind of, you know, showing some skin and then just having a print. Prints don’t happen that often in tennis…It was fun."

What she really meant:

The dress was meant to be a surprise—to my fans, my opponents, the tournament officials and anyone else who cares to notice.

What she definitely didn’t:

Alice and Lewis Carroll are very good friends of mine.

Quote of the day: 
He hasn’t an enemy in the world—but all his friends hate him. – Eddie Cantor

More quotes: http://bleacherreport.com/articles/589228-quote-misquote-roger-federernovak-djokovic-li-na-and-maria-sharapova