NHL Four-cast: Pittsburgh Penguins

Scotty HockeyCorrespondent ISeptember 7, 2008

1. Why is this team worth watching?

Did you enjoy Beijing? If so, the Cole Harbour Crybaby is one helluva diver (and, I must grudgingly admit, a decent hockey player).

Brooks Orpik is capable of more rock 'n' roll shifts like this, that Kris Letang kid is a shootout ace (even if he is a little weasel the rest of the time), and that Malkin guy ain't half bad.

2. Are they better or worse than last year?

Worse. Gone are key wingers Ryan Malone and Marian Hossa, who were replaced by two Islanders—Miroslav Satan and Ruslan Fedotenko—because when you think scoring, you think Islanders (/sarcasm).

Gone is the Conkblocker, who picked up the team on his back for several months, and in his place is Dany Sabourin, who isn't very good. And gone is the league's best enforcer, Georges Laraque. In his place? Eric Godard.


3. Who should YOU draft in fantasy?

There is that Evgeni Malkin guy, and that Sidney Crosby girl. Sergei Gonchar puts up huge points from the blueline every season. Remember, Ryan Whitney is out for a while. His replacement on the power play will likely be Letang, who does have some good skills and should have a breakout season.

Petr Sykora slowly, but steadily puts up his 50 points per year. I am not sold on Jordan Staal, but I will allow that he may have just had a sophomore slump last season. Staal should do better than 28 points and minus-5, but I don't expect a return to the 29 goals he scored his rookie year.

Marc-Andre Fleury won over a lot of fans with his play during the postseason, but keep in mind that he did it after missing months of action with injury. He put up some great numbers, though, and will be relied upon to play 65 or so games, so he is still worthy of a second-starter position on your team.

4. Is this the year Cindy Crosby finally becomes a man?

Nope. She is too wrapped in a cocoon of sycophants who worship the ice she skates on. Sadly, they include a legion of parasites who depend on her happiness for their livelihood: Commissioner Gary Bettman, NBC, Versus, Pittsburgh, even Don Cherry...someone to get in Cindy's face and explain to her that it isn't honorable to dive, it isn't honorable to take cheap shots and it isn't honorable to run to the refs demanding protection.