Brett Favre: LeBron James Should Hurry Up and Choose (Satire)

Minnesota Vikings quarterback Brett Favre has launched a scathing attack on NBA free-agent LeBron James.

The 40-year-old serial retirer expressed disdain that James was taking so long to choose which team to sign with.

"What is taking so long?" he said, squeezing a stress ball. "Just choose a team. I left a town that adored me, and I'm happy with my decision. LeBron should just leave too. And fast."

LeBron, the reigning Most Valuable Player, is a free agent for the first time and his courting by several NBA teams has sparked a media frenzy, monopolising every major sports station and website.

He was quick to dismiss Favre's comments as nothing more than an attempt to steal his limelight. "Everyone wants to see where the King goes! No one cares about an aging quarterback right now."

However, in recent years, July and August have become the time of the year reserved for Brett Favre's decision on whether to retire, unretire, or return to professional football.

In 2008, after retiring after a playoff loss to the Giants, Favre spent the summer deliberating a return. Eventually, after dominating ESPN for two months, he decided to return and wound up with the New York Jets.

After a late-season collapse saw the Jets miss the playoffs, Favre retired again, only to announce in July he was considering returning. He then declared he would not come back, only to change his mind again and sign with the Minnesota Vikings.

It was clear that Favre was looking forward to the same media circus this year.

"It's a bit shocking," he said. "I didn't retire after the postseason this year, thought I'd mix it up a little, you know. Keep the public interested.

"But now LeBron has taken over everything. Everyone wants to watch ESPN BrettCenter. What's this new thing gonna be called? 'LeBronCenter?' That doesn't work. People want to see me, my plane land, my subtle hints. People don't want to see LeBron. It's awful."

At this point, Favre threw his stress ball away in anger. It was caught by a nearby reporter.

The future Hall of Famer was clearly upset, saying all he wanted was not to end something with an interception, and went off to mow his lawn.