NFL Week Five: My Three Wishes

1. Can We Have A Week Off From Petulant Wideouts, Please

With the week seeing the end of two utterly pointless, mind-numbingly dull mini-dramas, can we please just have seven days of respite from preening, touchline hogging, divas?

Michael Crabtree takes the prize for the most infuriating, tedious and ultimately futile holdouts in NFL history. I was really, really hoping that he would screw his entire career up by deciding to re-enter the Draft next year. After all, if he wasn't getting the money he wanted this year, he sure wasn't going to get it after a year out of the game. And it's not as if the 49ers have been doing badly without him.

2. Another Chance For Mr. Irrelevant, Please

It pains me to write this, because I was working up a synopsis for a book on the history of Mr. Irrelevant, when David Vobora not only went and spolied it for me by landing a regular season roster spot, he even made his way up to a starting linebacker slot.

And then he got a four game suspension for taking banned substances.

I don't condone drug taking in any form, but Vobora had done so much to move from the NFL's least rated player to one of the elite 1296 that I, for one, want to see if he can do it again. And, frankly, the Rams aren't exactly top heavy with defensive talent right now.

3. Can We Stop Talking About MVPs and Players Of The Year, Please

It's Week Five, not Week 15. No-one has done anything yet. Saying that anyone, be they Brees, a Manning, Peterson or whoever is a front runner for any kind of award is ridiculous. Let's get to the end of the season and then worry about who did well during it. All of this talk is just space filling by lazy journalists; the last thing the NFL needs is more meaningless speculation.