Mike Napoli Shaved His Beard, and No One Is Comfortable with It

This is a very necessary reminder that Mike Napoli without a beard is not Mike Napoli.

Like a bearded Samson, Napoli’s power rested in his long-cultivated mane of facial hair. It was the gift that continued to give through the 2013 postseason and the following year.

But the days of bearded Napoli are gone—at least for now.

In an incredibly jarring move, the Boston Red Sox catcher shaved his famous face pelt prior to Wednesday’s game against the Tampa Bay Rays, ostensibly choosing to banish the playoff whiskers in response to Boston’s very non-playoff-bound season.

No one knew how to handle baby-faced Napoli, least of all the announcers, who’d grown accustomed to staring enviously at the catcher’s lumberjack beard over the last two years.

NESN froze on a side-by-side comparison of clean-shaven Napoli and bearded Napoli. I believe the announcers’ shocked silence says all that can be said about the utter havoc the new look caused at the ballpark.

Granted, there’s nothing wrong with cutting down the whiskers, but you can’t just hit fans with a full and sudden de-bearding, Mike. There must be stages—a carefully planned exit strategy.

In any case, enjoy your new less-than-scratchy face, Napoli. Just in time for Boston’s warm season!

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