Chicago Cubs: Curse of the Gatorade Dispenser?

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Chicago Cubs: Curse of the Gatorade Dispenser?
(Photo by: Mark Lyons/Getty Images)

Fans of any other team would have surely have blown a gasket, be stunned in utter disbelief or curse their luck if they had heard that one of their best pitchers fractured his toe jumping over the dugout railing while celebrating a victory.

But I didn't even flinch. No double take, no ghastly expression of shock, no emotion whatsoever.

Why the utter disregard, you ask?

Well, as a longtime Cubs fan, you get used to these kind of things. It's hard to explain. This state is only something you acquire through years of following the Cubs every day.

Cubs fans don't share the woe-is-me/fear the worst mentality that pre-2004 Red Sox fans did. That's why they were so angry back then and we're considered the lovable losers.

Some people call this being fair weather. But how does having a TO-esque meltdown at everything that goes wrong make you a die-hard fan?

It doesn't. A veteran Cubs fan just rolls with the punches, because they've been through this before.

From Sammy Sosa sneezing his back out to Mike Remlinger spraining his finger because he got it stuck between two recliners while lounging in the clubhouse. Don't forget Carlos Zambrano hurting his elbow due to too much time spent on his laptop, or Kyle Farnsworth injuring his knee while kicking an electric fan.

If we haven't seen it before, we will in our lifetime. Cubs fans never state that they've seen everything that could go wrong, because we are sure that the next thing that does go wrong will be unique.

That's why the only Cubs fans you'll see kicking and screaming are recent inductees, bandwagon jumpers, or White Sox fans looking for a laugh.

Sure, it's bad news for the team that Ryan Dempster will miss a month, right when the team was finally healthy and poised to make a charge for the mediocre NL Central crown.

But what goes around comes around, Dempster. That's what you get for beating up a defenseless Gatorade dispenser.

Wait a minute!

Big Z (Zambrano), who also inflicted punishment on the poor machine, is is having a terrible year by his standards.

Could we be looking at the genesis of a whole new curse on the Cubs?

The curse of the Gatorade dispenser!

Relax Cubs fans—only paranoid idiots believe in curses like the Billy Goat Curse or think that blowing up the Bartman ball will lead to better luck.

Unfortunate events are just part of Cubdom.

There hasn't been enough unfortunate events linked to this dispenser to even merit labeling it as a curse.

At least, wait 'til next year.

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