Down the Hatch: Favorite NHL Players as Alcoholic Drinks

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Down the Hatch: Favorite NHL Players as Alcoholic Drinks
(Photo by Jim McIsaac/Getty Images)

Hockey and alcohol have always been a great mix; while baseball sluggers come under scrutiny for steroids, hockey players usually have a reputation as drunks.

While other sports spray their trophy with alcohol, hockey players drink champagne or another drink of choice out of the Stanley Cup. For those who play in adult league hockey, you either enjoy an alcoholic beverage from time to time as a team, or come completely hammered and play in what will forever be lovingly called Busch league.

Why fight our heritage? Let’s embrace it! Ever wondered what drink your favorite hockey players would be if allowed to ferment? So have I.

 

Brenden Morrow

Captain & Coke (Captain Morgan Spiced Rum, Coca-Cola)—a pretty-boy face, much like this drinks smooth taste, but watch out or you will end up on your rear wondering why your head hurts. Both live up to the name of Captain.

 

Sidney Crosby

Hairy Virgin (rum, orange liqueur, and apple juice)—Look at a picture of this guy's attempt at a playoff beard, and you will know what I mean.

 

Johan Franzen

Moscow Mule (vodka, ginger beer, and lime, served in a copper mug)—I realize “the mule” isn’t Russian, but what other alcoholic drink could bear such a name? One of my favorite all-time performers deserves to make my alcohol list.

 

Jason Arnott

Lynchburg Lemonade (Jack Daniel's, orange liqueur, sour mix, and lemon-lime soda, served over ice with a lemon wedge or maraschino cherry garnish)—Arnott, like this drink, is best served over ice and packs quite the punch. No one could better represent the great state of Tennessee and Jack Daniel’s than Jason Arnott of the Nashville Predators.

 

Detroit Red Wings team

Crimson Death (Absinthe strained through sugar with cranberry juice over ice)—The team leaves you questioning how many games you’ve played in the series. The drink leaves you wondering how many drinks you’ve downed. Either way, you’re gonna lose this battle.

 

Mike Modano

Single Barrel Jack Daniel’s—Both are 100 percent American and classy as all get out. One should be kept in your locker room for as long as possible and the other kept in your liquor cabinet as long as possible. Both get better with age and are worth every penny.

 

Andy McDonald

Caribou Lou (Bacardi 151, Malibu Rum, and pineapple juice)—The drink originated in Kansas City, but Andy McDonald is all St. Louis. Wherever Andy Mac or Caribou Lou venture, only good times roll. The only thing Blue in Missouri after a playoff appearance is the jerseys.

 

Todd Bertuzzi

Paralyzer (vodka, Kahlúa, cream or milk, and Coca-Cola)—to avoid any issues here, I wont explain this. Just let it sink in.


Ken Armer is a Community Leader for the NHL and the Dallas Stars for Bleacher Report. He also covers the Anaheim Ducks for TheHockeyWriters.com. He can be contacted at karmer@bleacherreport.com

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