40 Crazy MLB Rumors That Were Total BS

The beauty of any MLB rumor is that it's either true or a complete and utter falsehood. I can't even count how many rumors I've read this offseason that have made me laugh hysterically to the point where I've almost tweeted each reporter or source who spoke to the reporter and called them a lying sack of...well, you know.

From Tim Lincecum being on the trading block to Albert Pujols ending up in a Cubs uniform, there have been so many rumors this offseason that have been, for lack of better word, total BS. Since we could all use a good laugh, especially those of you who are St. Louis Cardinals fans, I've put together a list that should have us all going, "WHAT? That would never happen!"

Thus, here are 40 crazy rumors of this offseason that either have already been confirmed as or in my opinion are, as I mentioned before, complete BS.

Martin Prado Being Traded from Atlanta

I love Martin Prado. I really do. Yet, when it comes to bringing in young talent to better a team, he isn't exactly the best one to offer for prospects.

Nearly a week ago, Fox Sports' Ken Rosenthal reported that the Atlanta Braves were looking to trade Prado and one of his soon-to-be-named teammates separately to "maximize the return." I would buy that were it not for the fact that Prado isn't exactly the type of player who is highly in demand.

Sure, he's a right-handed batter who has hit over .300 two of the past three seasons, but his power is average at best and his speed doesn't have a high wow factor. I could say he plays decent defense, but that doesn't take away from the fact that players like Prado tend to be a dime-a-dozen.

Thus, with his tendency to get injured along with his off 2011 season, the Braves will hold on to Prado and hope for the best.

Arizona Diamondbacks Wanting to Keep Joe Saunders

Last week, the Arizona Diamondbacks made an interesting move in non-tendering left-hander Joe Saunders, thus making him a free agent. Shortly afterward, Nick Cafardo of The Boston Globe reported that the team was interested in bringing him back.

Alright, Cafardo. If that is indeed the case, then how come all we've been hearing about the past couple of days is how teams like the Detroit Tigers and Boston Red Sox are interested in Saunders' services?

Simply put, if the Diamondbacks were interested in bringing Saunders back, I think we'd be hearing a lot more about negotiations between both parties. We haven't; thus, fans should not believe this rumor.

Matt Garza Being Traded to the Rangers

This report came courtesy of, once again, Ken Rosenthal. While I normally consider him to be a very reliable source for all things MLB, I can't help but think he was stretching it with this one.

Apparently, the Chicago Cubs and Texas Rangers were in talks about swapping Matt Garza for prospects, and the Rangers balked at the asking price. Seeing as how Garza was basically the ace of the staff last year despite being in the No. 2 spot, front office tandem Theo Epstein and Jed Hoyer wanted a bevy of prospects in return.

While Garza is talented and is definitely worth at least one good prospect, he isn't worth depleting the farm system. Throw in his fairly average WHIP and tendency to give up the long-ball (which could be a problem in a hitter's park like that of the Rangers), and there's no way that deal would have happened, let alone even been considered.

The Blue Jays in on Carlos Beltran?

One of the more under-the-radar free agents of this offseason has been outfielder Carlos Beltran, who had a solid 2011 after missing much of the past three seasons with knee injuries. According to ESPN's Buster Olney, one of the five or six teams interested in Beltran's services is the Toronto Blue Jays.

Buster, you know I love you, but I'm calling you out on that one. The Blue Jays already have a crowded outfield that features home run threat Jose Bautista, speedster Rajai Davis and a bunch of other talented youngsters. Simply put, the team has no use for the veteran switch-hitter.

That being said, while Beltran will surely be playing baseball somewhere next year, it sure as hell won't be north of the border.

Daniel Bard to the Rotation?

After Jonathan Papelbon signed with the Philadelphia Phillies, I and many other baseball fans thought that the Red Sox would fill the void from within and put setup man Daniel Bard in the closer's spot. However, that could not be the case.

Bobby Valentine, ever the kidder (and I really hope so in this case), has stated his intention to stretch out Bard in spring training and make him a starter. Seeing as how Bard is a two-pitch pitcher and was god-awful as a starter in the minors, I can't fathom any reason as to why this could be an accurate statement.

Sure, the Sawx just traded for Mark Melancon, who was decent as the fill-in closer for the Houston Astros last season, but Bard's stuff is just plain overpowering. The fact that they would risk him being ineffective as a starter when his repertoire is built for closing is simply beyond me.

Thus, the BS alarm is going off loudly on this one.

Hiroki Kuroda Going Back to Japan

It's no secret that right-hander Hiroki Kuroda wants to stay in LA. Unfortunately, given how the team just committed a ton of money to Matt Kemp and is about to go through an ownership change, it could just be wishful thinking on his part.

Thus, Kuroda has entertained the idea of going home to Japan to finish out his career.  However, certain MLB teams are interested in his services, as he finished 2011 with a remarkable 3.07 ERA.

That being said, I don't believe for a second that Kuroda will go back to Japan if the Dodgers can't re-sign him. The fact is that money talks, and for the right offer, Kuroda will stay in the States.

Hanley Ramirez Being Traded

Now that Jose Reyes has taken his talents to South Beach (or in this case, Little Havana), Hanley Ramirez will be moving from shortstop to third base. He has already voiced his displeasure about it, but he's just going to have to deal with it.

One possible solution to making Ramirez happy is to trade him, and the Sporting News has reported that the Boston Red Sox are interested in the All-Star's services.

I've heard some crazy rumors in my nearly 20 years of watching baseball, but this one is definitely up there. Not only do the Red Sox have Marco Scutaro and prospect Jose Iglesias working that position, not to mention the newly-signed Nick Punto, but why would the Marlins trade a player with a .306 lifetime batting average, not to mention a good power bat and decent speed?

Given his talent, Marlins management will ultimately resolve the situation, and Ramirez will move to third base.

New York Mets Shopping Ike Davis?

Jon Heyman already confirmed this rumor as untrue, but the fact that it even surfaced in the first place is ridiculous. Ike Davis was having a great season before going down with an ankle injury in May, so the fact that Joel Sherman of the New York Post went on to report that GM Sandy Alderson was shopping Davis following the trading of Angel Pagan to the Giants is just plain blasphemous.

Davis is going to play a big role in the rebuilding of the Mets, so he's not going anywhere.

The Nationals Being the Favorite to Land C.J. Wilson

Before he signed with the Los Angeles Angels, C.J. Wilson was the free agent target of many teams looking for rotation help. Earlier this month, NBC Sports reported that the team seen as the favorite to land the lefty was the Washington Nationals. While the team was in fact in on Wilson, I can safely say that there is no way they were ever the favorites. 

Look at it this way. Wilson has been to the World Series the past two years, so he's used to winning. In going to the Nationals, he would have joined a work-in-progress and not seen the playoffs for at least another two years. Thus, the fact that someone would even call the Nats the favorites to land him is absurd.

Prince Fielder to the Cubs

The Chicago Cubs need a lot of help at first base and could very well be in contact with free agent Prince Fielder about shoring up the position. Yet, just a few days ago, Cubs manager Dale Sveum (pictured) told Bruce Levine of ESPN Chicago that the team's interest in the power-hitting first baseman was all "media talk."

I'm sorry, but that's like saying that the Cubs wanting to win a World Series is just a silly dream each of the players has. The team wants Fielder, though I've got to give props to Sveum for playing it coy.

Mets Trading Jon Niese?

Jon Niese's 2011 season was average, as he went 11-11 with a 4.40 ERA. Still, the Mets lefty has potential and could be a valuable member of the rotation down the road.

That being said, why would GM Sandy Alderson even consider trading him, as NBC Sports reported over the weekend? Apparently, Niese was the centerpiece of a trade built around Colorado Rockies outfielder Seth Smith, thus why the rumors were flying.

Given, in the same NBC report, the Mets said they would have to be "knocked out" by an offer to trade Niese, but you understand what I mean. Trading a talented young arm like Niese for an outfielder whose numbers are inflated by the hitter-friendly Coors Field? Not happening.

Yankees Trading Jesus Montero

Going back to the middle of the 2010 season, New York Yankees prospect Jesus Montero has been the subject of so many trade rumors that I myself have lost count. I've said this once, and I'll say it again. If the Yankees really wanted to trade Montero and his powerful bat, they would have made a deal already.

No deal has been discussed all offseason, so I have no idea why the possibility of Montero being traded is still being discussed.

Seattle Trading King Felix

One of the most popular pitchers among both fans and front offices in recent years has been Felix Hernandez of the Seattle Mariners. Over the past three seasons, the tough-to-hit Venezuelan phenom has gone 46-31 with a 2.73 ERA and took home the 2010 AL Cy Young Award. Thus, teams have lit up Seattle GM Jack Zduriencik's phone with offers for Hernandez's services.

Yet, despite the overwhelming offers he has surely received, Zduriencik told ESPN New York's Andrew Marchand that he has no intentions to trade his ace. Thus, despite any rumors you may hear about King Felix heading elsewhere, do not believe them.

White Sox Trading Carlos Quentin

Once again, Ken Rosenthal has made a claim that just seems outlandish. Yes, the Chicago White Sox have Dayan Viciedo set to take over right field, but the idea of trading Carlos Quentin just seems like a hasty move in GM Kenny Williams' rebuilding mode that has already seen closer Sergio Santos shipped to Toronto.

Quentin has drawn interest from teams like the Toronto Blue Jays and San Diego Padres, but to trade him is a move that is just plain silly. The team just tendered him a contract over the weekend, probably a sign that they aren't ready to part with him just yet.

More importantly, putting Quentin's inconsistent batting average aside, how can a front office just look to up and trade someone with 30-home run power, particularly someone under team control for another season or two?

The Yankees

Easily the hottest commodity on the international free agent market, Japanese sensation Yu Darvish is set to come to MLB baseball. It has been reported that the winning bid for the right to negotiate with Darvish is above $50 million, more than the record posting fee that the Boston Red Sox paid to speak with Daisuke Matsuzaka.

In the case of Darvish, the same report said that the pitching-hungry New York Yankees submitted just a "modest" bid.

Um...OK. So what the hell is that supposed to mean? They bid $40 million instead of their usual 50? I'm sorry, but there is no such word as "modest" in Yankeeland, especially when it comes to money. They easily broke the bank as much as they could to get the rights to Darvish, and while they probably didn't win the bidding, you can bet they offered a hefty sum.

Prince Fielder to the Yankees as a DH?

Back in October, when the playoffs were still going on, John Harper of the New York Daily News reported that the Yankees could potentially sign Prince Fielder in the event that pitcher CC Sabathia opted out of his contract and signed elsewhere. I'm sorry, but even if Sabathia did sign elsewhere, there's no way that Fielder would have ended up as the Yankees' DH.

The reason? Well, nothing important. Just the worst contract in baseball that is Alex Rodriguez's 10-year, $275 million deal.

The Angels Trading Kendrys Morales

Now that Albert Pujols is in the picture, the Angels have a bit of a logjam at first base.  Besides Pujols, there is Mark Trumbo, who hit 29 home runs last year, and Kendrys Morales, who has not played since May 2010 when he broke his leg jumping on home plate after a walk-off grand slam.

That being said, with his injury history, Morales appears to be the odd man out despite being tendered a contract. If there's a candidate to be traded, it is definitely him. Yet, call me crazy, but I have a feeling that Morales is going to be back in LA with a vengeance.

Keep in mind, this is the switch-hitter who hit .306 with 34 home runs and 108 RBI in 2009.  It's a bit tough to justify trading those kinds of numbers and keep a .254 hitter (Trumbo) in his place just because of an injury.

Trading Devin Mesoraco for Pitching

The Reds' primary objective this offseason was to acquire starting pitching, and while they may have just traded for Mat Latos, GM Walt Jocketty might not be done yet. However, if he wants another top pitcher in his team's rotation, Jocketty will need to be prepared for teams asking for top catching prospect Devin Mesoraco.

I'm sorry, but the fact that this kid's name appears on mlbtraderumors.com offends me. In 2010, he hit .302 with 26 home runs in the minors and hit .289 with 15 dingers this year. The Reds have a hole at catcher now that Ramon Hernandez has signed with the Colorado Rockies, and Mesoraco could be the one to fill it.

The fact that his name even appeared on that aforementioned website is BS.

C.J. Wilson to the Marlins?

About two weeks ago, the Miami Marlins appeared to be a player in the C.J. Wilson sweepstakes before he signed with the Los Angeles Angels. As I mentioned before with the Nationals, Wilson would not have picked the Marlins for one reason and one reason alone: They aren't contenders just yet.

Simply put, Wilson is hungry for a World Series ring, and in Miami, he would have had to go through a few appetizers before ultimately getting that elusive main course that is a World Series ring.

Mark Buehrle to the Texas Rangers

Back on December 6, Richard Durrett of ESPN Dallas said that lefty starter Mark Buehrle "made sense" for the Texas Rangers. I'm sorry, but Mr. Durrett could not be more wrong.

You see, Buehrle is a pitcher whose fastball tops out at no more than maybe 91 miles per hour. In an extremely hitter-friendly park in Texas, he would get lit up night after night and prove to be a bad investment.

I don't know what Durrett was thinking when he thought that Buehrle to the Rangers was a good idea. I wish I knew his secret so that I could get ideas as crazy as that sometimes.

Angels Trading Mark Trumbo for Andrew Bailey

As I mentioned before, the Angels have a bit of a logjam at first base. Shortly after Pujols was signed, soon-to-be second year player Mark Trumbo told Mark Saxon of ESPN LA that he was aware that he could be traded.

It didn't take long for the rumor cauldron to start boiling, as reports surfaced of Trumbo being sent to the division-rival Oakland A's for closer Andrew Bailey. This was later shot down by Susan Slusser of the San Francisco Chronicle, as a source close to the situation called it "total fiction."

This source was absolutely right, as there is no way this trade would ever go down. The Angels would be crazy to trade away a talented power bat in Trumbo, especially to a division rival. That would never happen.

David Ortiz Being Open to Signing with the Yankees

In the wake of all of the postseason drama surrounding the Red Sox, team DH David Ortiz told ESPN's Colleen Dominguez that he was frustrated with the "mess" and that he would be open to signing a contract with the New York Yankees.

I know that there has been a history of Red Sox defection to the Evil Empire, what with Babe Ruth and Johnny Damon leaving Beantown for the Big Apple, but this is one such move that would never happen. EVER.

Ortiz is way too popular in Boston and has way too many fans, not to mention a legacy. In leaving New York for Boston because of "drama" and better money, he would forever tarnish said legacy and join a league of athletes that is headed by LeBron James.

Fortunately (or unfortunately, depending on you who root for), Ortiz accepted Boston's arbitration offer.

Prince Fielder to the Mariners?

Last week, Ken Rosenthal named a player in the Prince Fielder sweepstakes that I'm sure none of us ever considered: the Seattle Mariners. Fielder's agent, Scott Boras, said that the team could contend with the right player, implying it to be his client.

Boras seems to forget that the M's already have a solid first baseman in switch-hitting Justin Smoak, who will continue to get better as he matures. On top of that, I find it hard to believe that a team like Seattle, which featured so many young and unknown talents last season, has the money to pursue Fielder.

More importantly, Fielder is going to want to go someplace where he can win immediately, not be part of some rebuilding project. Unfortunately, Seattle has been in that phase for years and doesn't appear to be close to exiting.

Adam Jones Being Traded for Jair Jurrjens

Adam Jones has been nothing but excellent since becoming a Baltimore Oriole, batting .278 with 72 home runs and 279 RBI in four seasons. Yet, he plays for a team that is constantly rebuilding, and it was reported earlier that the Orioles were looking to trade for pitching in the form of Braves righty Jair Jurrjens. Jones' name was not mentioned, but started getting tossed around by fans, and thus, the rumor was born.

At this point, Jones is just too valuable in a lineup desperate for offense. Even if the trade was for the ultimate ace, he's not going anywhere.

Royals Shopping Joakim Soria?

Ever since breaking into the big leagues in 2007, Joakim Soria has been nothing but excellent for the Kansas City Royals. Yet, after an off 2011 in which he posted career worsts in both ERA, WHIP and strikeouts, team management is apparently listening to offers for him.

According to Rob Bradford of WEEI.com, the Red Sox called the Royals about Soria, but balked at the asking price. I'm sorry, but there is just no way that happened. The Royals are way too close to becoming contenders again to even consider trading away Soria, especially to a competitive team like the Sawx.

Placido Polanco Being Traded out of Philly

Earlier in the month, ESPN's Jayson Stark reported that the Philadelphia Phillies were listening to offers for third baseman Placido Polanco, but would only trade him if they couldn't re-sign shortstop Jimmy Rollins. The plan was that Polanco would be traded and the team would then make a push for Aramis Ramirez.

Even if this story did hold a little more water, I would have a hard time believing it. Polanco is just too valuable a defender and clubhouse presence in Philadelphia whose contract is expiring anyway, so why trade him now when you could potentially get draft picks if he signs with another team?

Jose Reyes to Brewers

Even if the Brewers were serious players for Reyes at one point, even if they just put their toe in the water, did they really think they had a legitimate shot at landing him? Sure, Reyes wants to win and could do that with the Brewers, but may have been skeptical with Prince Fielder's impending departure.

More importantly, the Brewers would have only been able to offer him around $90 million, according to Ken Rosenthal. Seeing as how Reyes ultimately signed with the Miami Marlins for $106 million and there were never any reports about him seriously considering the Brewers, I think it's safe to say that the idea of him going to Milwaukee was never really much more than speculation.

Jimmy Rollins to the Brewers

When Jimmy Rollins' talks with the Philadelphia Phillies reached a standstill, The Sporting News reported that the Milwaukee Brewers could make a play for him. Yet, as good as Rollins is, he isn't the type of player that the Brew Crew needs right now. The team needs to get younger at that position, and signing veteran Alex Gonzalez to a one-year deal will be the correct move in the long run.

The aging Rollins would have demanded a long-term deal, and on top of that, let's be honest.  He never really wanted to leave Philadelphia.

CC Sabathia Leaving the Yankees

All season long, there was speculation that New York Yankees ace CC Sabathia would opt out of his lucrative contract and seek a bigger and better deal. From the very start, I knew that this rumor was complete bull. Not only are there no other teams who could give Sabathia the money he would seek, but let's not forget that he and his family live in the New York City area year-round, residing in Alpine Township, New Jersey.

More importantly, Sabathia's family loves New York, so why uproot them just for the sake of a few extra dollars?

Sure enough, Sabathia did not opt out of his deal, but rather signed a five-year extension worth about $122 million. Psh...and people thought he would pull an A-Rod.

Jair Jurrjens Being Shopped

I understand that the Braves have too many pitchers and need to unload some for offense, but Jair Jurrjens will not be one of them despite a report by Jon Heyman earlier this month. The fact is that Jurrjens was great in 2011, going 13-6 with a 2.96 ERA, as he had Atlanta fighting for a playoff spot till the very end despite missing some time with injuries.

The Braves need this man going forward, so unless the deal is one that just blows them away, I don't anticipate there being any truth to Jurrjens being moved.

Prince Fielder to the Cardinals

After Albert Pujols signed with the Angels, there was some speculation that the Cardinals would pursue the next best first baseman on the market in Prince Fielder. Rotoworld mentioned this just yesterday, but it appears that they have yet to do their research on the subject.

A week ago, team GM John Mozeliak confirmed that the defending World Series champions are not in on Fielder. Instead, Lance Berkman will move to first base, and postseason hero Allen Craig will be the starting right fielder.

More importantly, can you imagine the backlash that would happen if Fielder signed with a division rival? He'd become the LeBron of Milwaukee.

Prince Fielder to the Marlins

Earlier in the month, NBC Sports reported that the Marlins were still interested in Prince Fielder. Given his contract demands, along with the fact that the team has already broken the bank this offseason, I highly doubt that he will sign there. Fielder has a number in mind, and while Marlins owner Jeffrey Loria may be a scumbag, he's still smart enough to know that Fielder isn't worth Pujols-type money.

Yankees Signing Then Trading Hiroyuki Nakajima?

With a whopping bid of $2.5 million, the Yankees won the rights to negotiate with Japanese shortstop Hiroyuki Nakaima. The only problem is that Nakajima would prefer to play for a West Coast team and the Yankees are kind of crowded at shortstop with Derek Jeter and Eduardo Nunez.

Thus, Ken Rosenthal suggested the idea of a sign-and-trade involving Nakajima and the Yankees filling another need with what they got in return.

I'm sorry, but having been a Yankees fan for nearly 20 years, I know that's not how they roll.  Team management submitted a bid for Nakajima for one reason: They want him on the team.  For those unaware with the mantra around the Yankees front office, I'll share it with you now: Whatever ownership wants, ownership gets.

A.J. Burnett Being Traded

Earlier in the month, George A. King III of the New York Post reported that the Yankees would listen to offers for A.J. Burnett and if a deal was struck, would pay $8 million of the $33 million due to him over the next two seasons.

That being said, let's look at Burnett's numbers over his time in New York: 34-35, 4.79 ERA, 1.44 WHIP and 58 wild pitches.

There is no way that a team will want to pay $25 million for that kind of production. Also, let's not forget that GM Brian Cashman and manager Joe Girardi appear to be madly in love with the guy, as they are constantly defending him.

Yankees Targeting Yu Darvish?

Even though the Yankees' "modest" bid on Yu Darvish is almost definitely not the winning one, I think it's safe to say that the team's interest in him was overblown. As good as Darvish is, fans must understand that the Yankees probably have a very cautious approach with Japanese pitchers after the epic failures of Hideki Irabu and Kei Igawa. The idea of him going to the Yankees was probably one stirred up by people knowing the team needs starting pitching, along with the idea that he'd look pretty badass in a Yankees uniform.

Thus, not looking to spend a lot of money on a player untested in the MLB, the Yankees will merely sit back and watch how the Darvish sweepstakes pans out before making any further moves. 

Jose Reyes to the Giants

While the San Francisco Giants may have nearly pulled of a trade for Jose Reyes during the regular season, the idea of them signing him to a long-term deal seemed very farfetched then as it did during the offseason. 

Andrew Keh of the New York Times reported that GM Brian Sabean was potentially interested in signing Reyes, but this was probably pure speculation on Keh's part.

Yes, the Giants need a shortstop, but Reyes never would have been the one given his high price tag. Seeing as how Sabean needs that money to extend his two best pitchers in Tim Lincecum and Matt Cain, Reyes never had a shot in hell at being a Giant.

Tim Lincecum Being Traded

The Giants want to sign Tim Lincecum to a long-term contract, but both sides appear to be far apart. Lincecum wants an eight-year deal (but is fine taking a one or two-year deal), while the Giants are seeking a middle ground. 

A Yahoo blogger known simply as "Duk" discussed the idea of trading Lincecum should an agreement not be reached, an idea that was quickly shot down by Brian Sabean.

Simply put, the Giants would be crazy to trade Lincecum period. The man has won two NL Cy Youngs with the team and was instrumental in their World Series run of 2010. The team has what it takes to win, and Lincecum will be there every step of the way.

Joey Votto Being Shopped

Back in mid-November, when discussing the Tampa Bay Rays, Joel Sherman implied that Cincinnati Reds first baseman Joey Votto could become available. I have seriously never heard more idiotic a report than this. Votto has hit .318 with 91 home runs and 300 RBI the past three seasons, winning the NL MVP Award in 2010.

More importantly, Jon Heyman already reported that Reds GM Walt Jocketty said that Votto would not be traded and the team would instead look to lock him up long-term. Given that, I'm not sure what gave Sherman the idea that Votto could be available.

Albert Pujols to the Marlins

Albert Pujols is a man used to winning. This offseason, he was looking for the best contract he could get from a team ready to win. The Miami Marlins made him a decent offer, but they are still a year or two away from contending.

Despite that, the media went ballistic and made it seem as though the Cardinals and Marlins were getting into a bidding war with some other teams over the future Hall-of-Famer's services when there really wasn't much of a rivalry going on between the teams involved to begin with.

Yet, the whole time, it seemed pretty obvious that Pujols would spurn the Fish for a bigger contender.

Pujols to the Cubs

Never before have I seen so much speculation born out of a damn hug. In May of last season, Pujols and the Cardinals were in Chicago to play the Cubs, and the All-Star first baseman was seen hugging then-Cubs GM Jim Hendry during batting practice.

Sure enough, the speculation built up. Would Albert Pujols suit up for the Cubs in 2012?

I've come across some BS rumors in my time, but this is by far the worst. I had a feeling that Pujols would eventually leave the Cardinals, but there's no way he would have signed with the division-rival Cubs. That would have been a giant middle finger to the fans and the Cardinals organization itself.

On top of that, look at the picture. He just doesn't look right in Cubs colors.