LSU vs. Alabama and the Greatest Sequels Ever as Movie Trailers

These days, sequels are the lucrative thing to do. I mean, they made two bloody sequels to The Santa Clause, for heaven's sake.

But while sequels in movies rarely live up to the hype, there have been a number of fantastic sequels in sports over the years, most recently the LSU versus Alabama rematch for the national championship.

But what would these famous sequels look like if they were made into movies? What would the movie posters and trailers for those films look like?

There's only one way to find out. To the sequels!

Living on a Prayer

You've heard all the clichés.

Football is a game of inches. It's better to be lucky than good. It ain't over 'til it's over.

Michigan State employed each and every one when that Hail Mary was thrown with four seconds on the clock.

Somehow, it found its way into the hands of MSU's Keith Nichol.

But wait—he didn't cross the goal line. He didn't score. We were headed to overtime.

Not so fast, my friend. Upon further review, Nichol just got in and Michigan State got out with the win, 37-31, over Wisconsin.

But here comes the Big Ten championship game. Here comes the rematch. What will happen next?

Spoiler alert: Wisconsin would chew the roses, beating Michigan State in a fantastic game, 42-39, which might have had an incredibly dramatic finish had the Spartans not been called for a roughing the punter penalty, allowing Wisconsin to run out the clock.

Defeated

This trailer will begin with a black screen and only the following will appear on the screen: 18-0.

Then, this song will begin playing (not the whole song, just the chorus) as images of Tom Brady throwing touchdown passes to Randy Moss and Wes Welker flash quickly on the screen, followed by an image of a grumpy Bill Belichick in a sweatshirt stalking the sidelines.

The final image will be of the Patriots walking off the field after defeating the Giants in the regular season.

But that song will cut off, cannons will boom and a shot of Michael Strahan running through the tunnel at the Super Bowl will appear on the screen as this song begins playing. Images of the Giants sacking Brady, gang-tackling Welker and Tom Coughlin stalking the sideline will quickly appear.

The screen will fade to black, and the following words will appear:

"The Giants didn't care about 18 straight wins."

Those words will fade, and the following will appear, ending the trailer:

"They just wanted to hand the Patriots one loss."

Fun and Gun

They had been beaten, battered and bruised.

The bullies of Florida State had bludgeoned Florida's Heisman quarterback, Danny Wuerffel, en route to a 24-21 victory over the Gators in 1996.

Florida thought its national championship aspirations were over.

Florida was wrong.

Steve Spurrier added the shotgun. The Gators beat Alabama in the SEC championship game. Nebraska lost to Texas in the Big 12 title game. Ohio State beat No. 2 Arizona State in the Rose Bowl.

Suddenly, the third-ranked Gators would be the champions if they beat the top-ranked Seminoles.

It's bows and arrows versus the Fun and Gun.

Spoiler alert: The ending was anticlimactic. Florida crushed Florida State, 52-20, to win a fairly controversial national championship, as four other teams—Ohio State, BYU, Arizona State and Florida State—also finished with one loss.

Miller Time

For this trailer, this song will be playing (because honestly, I had to use Peter Gabriel at some point, right?) as images of a distraught Reggie Miller walking off the court after playoff losses to the Knicks in 1993 and 1994 flash upon the screen. And now, for dialogue.

"Reggie Miller was just a basketball player. A basketball player that couldn't beat the New York Knicks in the playoffs."

An image of John Starks head-butting Miller flashes across the screen.

"But Miller has had enough. And in a legendary game, one in the 1995 Eastern Conference Semifinals that New Yorkers—and Spike Lee—will never forget, Miller saved the best he had for the last 18 seconds."

"Audiences agree that Miller Time brings to mind the sort of heated rivalries that used to make the NBA so freaking awesome."

"This year, remember the good old days with Miller Time."

"Unless you're a New Yorker."

One Versus Two: Part Deux

In a land where no one could beat LSU, one team reminded everyone it had lost to the Tigers in overtime after missing four field goals and throwing an interception at the goal line.

In a land where no other team could step up when it had the opportunity to remain the No. 2 team in the country, it's pretty obvious that the Crimson Tide would have beaten them all anyway.

In a land where Oklahoma State lost to Iowa State, Alabama stood up and shouted, "C'mon, people—there is no freaking way that team is better than we are."

LSU.

Alabama.

May the team that kicks the most field goals win.

Revenge of the Idiots

In a world where Aaron Boone eliminated them from the playoffs the year prior with an extra-inning, walk-off home run in Game 7 of the ALCS, one team would have the chance the following year in the ALCS to exact their revenge.

That team was the Boston Red Sox.

This time, poised to finally defeat the Yankees, they would quickly find themselves down 3-0 in the series.

Oh boy.

From the studio that brought you Damn That Billy Goat and Do You Have Any Idea What It Is Like To Live in Cleveland? comes Revenge of the Idiots—a story about a team and its fans that carry on their backs an 86-year-old curse and aren't afraid to tell anyone willing to listen about their pain.

This year, the baseball gods finally listened.

The Other Fighter

They called the first one "the fight of the year."

Some called the ninth round the greatest they had ever seen.

He called it a loss.

But Arturo Gatti would have his revenge against Mickey Ward, winning their second bout.

And so, one last time, these two warriors would step into the ring, attempting to answer the only question that matters between the ropes:

Who is the better man?

Spoiler Alert: It was Gatti who won the third fight—another excellent bout—to conclude one of the greatest boxing trilogies ever.

Somebody's Perfect

Let's be honest here—this trailer would just be Ken Burns talking about how, from 1952 to 1956, the Yankees faced the Brooklyn Dodgers in the World Series four times in five years.

He would go on to talk about how every Series except for one would go the full seven games (the Yankees won the 1953 series 4-2) and how the Yankees won three of the four (Brooklyn won in 1955).

But then he would talk about the 1956 Series, famous for Don Larsen's perfect game in Game 5.

And that would get you all enticed to see this film about the 1956 World Series.

Unless you aren't a baseball fan, in which case it would be the most boring trailer ever.

Short Shorts

Larry Bird and Magic Johnson are seen sitting in a room with two chairs.

Bird: Remember when the Celtics won the NBA title in 1983-84, Earvin?

Magic: I do. I also seem to recall a Lakers title the next year.

Bird: As do I.

Magic: So what happened in the 1986-87 rubber match, Larry?

Bird: (remains silent and frowns)

Magic: (laughs)

Then this song starts playing as highlights of the 1986-87 NBA Finals are shown, which the Lakers of course won in six. The words Short Shorts appear on the screen before we return to the room with Bird and Magic.

Bird: You know, I think I could take you in a game of one-on-one right now.

Magic: (laughs) You're on!

Thrilla

This song will play as various images from their first two fights flash upon the screen.

At one point, we'll see a victorious Frazier after "The Fight of the Century."

In another, we'll see Ali in his corner, victorious after the rematch.

Finally, images from the Thrilla in Manila will be shown on the screen, namely some of the most brutal hits and grueling moments of the match.

The screen will fade to black, with only the following shown on the screen:

Thrilla. 

My name is Timothy Rapp, and I put the "grrrr" in Swagger.