No, Bleacher Report, Thank YOU! How B/R Treated My College Football Withdrawal

The period of time between the last regular season college football game and the first bowl game is always strange for me.

Strange because for months I've been pouring myself into all things college football. I've read the stats, watched the games, and read (and written a few) articles on Bleacher Report.

Yes, this has been one of the best seasons ever: big games almost every week, the Big 12 domination, the one-loss controversies, and Michigan's debacle (God, I love it).

But once again, as the season ended I found myself lost. Suddenly, as time expired for the last time, I was left to my own devices. Left to fill my life and time with something other than football.

You probably know the feeling. Waking up on Saturday morning, the sun shining through the window onto your face, the warmth of the covers pulled up around your neck, and then the sudden tightness in your stomach as you again remember and realize that there is no football on today.

No ESPN GameDay. No tailgating. No meeting your buds at your favorite sports bar.

And then the question of all questions:

"What in the world am I supposed to do now?"

Now the funny thing about this question is that there really isn't a good answer. Because nothing you do will be able to adequately fill the college football void. So we're left to occupying ourselves with menial tasks and tortures until somehow we manage to make it to Bowl Week.

Luckily, however, Bleacher Report anticipated that their college football creatures would be in for a tough few weeks waiting for this wave of post-season play.

Being loyal to their fellow sports readers and writers, they made a move.

A move that nobody foresaw.

A masterfully devised plan that would not only take everyone by surprise but provide hundreds with the one thing that can fill any void.

"What is it?" you ask.

Love.

Yes, that four-letter word that we all like to feel, but never like to say.

The most powerful word in all the universe. A word that people are built on and empires are destroyed by.

In my most troubled time, when I felt like all was lost, Bleacher Report gave me love.

Let me explain.

The first Saturday after the season had officially ended, I was aimlessly surfing the web, going to sites I haven't visited in months and even stumbling upon some that I've never been to before.

But out of habit, I clicked on Bleacher Report on my bookmarks toolbar and was taken to my most familiar site.

"Oh how I love this open source sports network," I said to myself.

But something was different—something had changed.

As I was reading an article, I noticed an advertisement.

Now when you think of ads, you think of commercials for huge super duty trucks to take all your friends mud-bogging in. Or a banner telling you how great the new Snuggie is for keeping you warm on cool winter nights.

But this was none the such. This was like nothing I've seen on Bleacher Report before.

For the ad was for a woman. A beautiful blond Russian woman.

I was a bit taken back by the spectacle. Why would this ad be on this network? This doesn't belong here! This is a sports website!

But as the beautiful blond stared at me through the other side of the computer screen, I got curious.

"Well, maybe this is a good thing," I told myself. "Maybe these women need a good, college football-loving, American man in their lives, and this is the perfect place for them to find one."

I moved my mouse pointer over the ad. Debating whether or not I should just click. Just click to see how far the rabbit hole goes, how far it would take me.

So I did it. I clicked.

I know. I'm pathetic, but surely I'm not the only one.

And even though going to a website to browse through potential wives from a foreign nation may sound a bit absurd, I'm actually glad I did.

For I found what Bleacher Report was trying to show me.

I found Klavdia.

5'8", 140 lb. Klavdia. Beautiful blond hair and sparkling blue eyes. She's all I ever wanted in a Russian wife.

And she arrives on Jan. 23.

So thank you, Bleacher Report.

Thank you for providing me a place to express myself in writing. A place to show the world my love for sport. A community of people just like me, who are enthralled in the competitiveness of this world we live in.

And thank you for Klavdia.

Or as she would say, "Spasibo."