CM Punk, Kane and the 30 All-Time Coolest Ring Names in Wrestling

Michael Hickenbottom may not have been as successful had he not chosen the ring name Shawn Michaels. 

A wrestler's moniker is an essential element to their persona.  Provided they chose a punchy, memorable and fitting one, their career will be the better for it.

Choosing or being given a terrible one can definitely derail one's career.  I’m talking to you, Bastion Booger. 

The 30 wrestlers who found their way on this list have tossed aside the name their momma gave them and chosen something far more ring-worthy. 

Honorable Mention

The Great Muta: The magician-like name gives off a mysterious vibe.

Jack Swagger: A punchy moniker far superior to his nickname. 

Koko B. Ware: Great rhythm and fun word play.

Terry Funk: Simple and strong. 

King Kong Bundy: Combines the image of the monstrous King Kong and the wickedness of Ted Bundy.

30. Sting

Real name: Steve Borden

Gordon Sumner of the Police had the name first, I'll give you that. Original or not, it's still a great name. 

His punchy one-syllable alias has continuously been stretched out by ring announcers.

Sting ties his ring name into his persona extremely well by wearing scorpion themed tights and using signature moves like the Scorpion Deathlock. 

Could he have just gone as "The Scorpion" you ask?  The Spider-Man villain of that name had already claimed that one, so there'd be plagiarism either way.

29. Killer Kowalski

Real name: Władek Kowalski

The Polish surname sounds tough, so I'm not surprised he stuck with it.

As for "Killer," it’s absolutely one of the best nicknames.  How many wrestlers after him wish they'd thought of it first?

Throw in the alliteration of the K sound, and you have one snappy ring name. 

"Killer Kowalski puts on the claw," has a perfect symmetry to it. 

28. Thunderbolt Patterson

Real Name: Claude Patterson

Like Thunderbolt Ross of the Incredible Hulk comics, Mr. Patterson uses one of the coolest words in the English language as his first name. 

Thunderbolt brings to mind both speed and power.  Claude on the other hand, conjures up images of an old Frenchman putting out bowls of milk for stray cats.

He definitely made the right choice.

27. Greg "the Hammer" Valentine

Real Name: John Wisniski, Jr.

Greg Valentine is pretty cool on its own.  It has a nice ring and sounds like some greaser thug from the '50s.  Adding the hammer element adds a sense of strength and danger. 

Valentine's name always sounded great when he was introduced.  And it made him seem tougher.

He initially wrestled as Baby Face Nelson, which sounded like a prohibition era movie gangster, and Johnny Fargo, which sounded like a cheesy detective in a cartoon.

Hammer is the name you give to the guy that will knock your teeth in.  I think the wrestling world is better for him settling on that. 

26. Jimmy "Superfly" Snuka

Real name: James William "Jimmy" Reiher

Snuka is most famous for being a high-flying pioneer. 

How fitting that his name would not only accurately describe how amazing his leaping ability was, but reminded us of the character from the 1972 film of the same name who oozed cool?

The alliteration of Superfly and Snuka together helps push this name into greatness as well. 

And he doesn’t he look a thousand times more like a Jimmy Snuka than a James Reiher?

25. One Man Gang

Real Name: George Gray

The other names he wrestled with were odd fits and bordered on silly.  Early in his career, Gray was known as Crusher Broomfield. In the late '80s and early '90s, the then WWF hampered him with the name Akeem the African Dream despite, his non-African South Carolina heritage.

One Man Gang made him sound tough.  He didn't need anybody else; he was a dangerous gang all by himself. 

It also added an air of mystery to his character.  Though he may not have been the first to be known by this name, whoever went by One Man Gang certainly had a great handle.

24. Andre the Giant

Real name: André René Roussimoff

I know this is a simple name.  Sometimes the simplest things are the most beautiful. 

It took him several tries to arrive at that perfect ring name.  He was previously known as Giant Machine (sounds like a lame metal band), Jean Ferré (a fine name for a diver or an abstract painter) and Monster Eiffel Tower.

Keeping the Andre aspect of the name gives him humanity.  The rest of it gives him the aura of a monster. 

Would he have able to have a posse with another name?

23. Bam Bam Bigelow

Real name: Scott Charles Bigelow

Before Rob Schneider tarnished the name Bigelow (although Deuce Bigalow is spelled differently) it was the name of a superstar of both WWE and several Japanese promotions.

Some folks may hear his name and think of Barney Rubble's son.  Others may associate "Bam Bam" with Terry Gordy of the Freebirds. 

Bigelow obviously doesn't get points for originality, but the combination of names he chose created an iconic ring name.  The nickname "Bam Bam" is perfect for a guy as strong as him, one who'd pound you in the ring.

22. Bret "the Hitman" Hart

Real name: Bret Hart

He got lucky with having a solid real name.  Few wrestlers have that luxury.

"The Hitman" is a fantastic nickname.  It describes the way Bret Hart went about his business in the ring, with precision and professionalism. 

It makes him sound dangerous, regardless what color tights he put on. 

Rhythm and alliteration are used here again to create an iconic name for one of the all time greats.

21. "Ravishing" Rick Rude

Real Name: Richard Erwin Rood

Changing the spelling of his last name was a subtle touch.  "Ravishing" is the perfect nickname for his arrogant, sexy gimmick. 

Rick over Richard was a good choice as well.

Triple the alliteration and the whole name has a ring to it that sticks in your head.  It's strong, punchy and memorable. 

20. "Dr. Death" Steve Williams

Real name: Steven Williams

A doctor who assisted suicide and a Nazi war criminal are among the many who have been called "Dr. Death."

Steve Williams, the legend goes, got the nickname in middle school when a wrestling coach saw him wrestling in a hockey goalie mask.

If this is true, than Mr. Williams was handed one of the cooler nicknames and had to spend no creative energy coming up with one of his own. 

It makes it sound like he's sadistic and knows some secret nerve holds or something.  The only ring name he ever used was one of the best. 

19. Big Van Vader

Real name: Leon Allen White

Though I like the Little John feel from when he went by "Baby Bull," Vader's name while with WCW was awesome.

What is a Van Vader?  Nobody knows, but they do know that is sounds cool.

It may be a reference to a warrior in Japanese folklore, but you can't always trust Wikipedia.  It does definitely put the image of Luke's father in people's heads.

Even shortened to Vader, it was a stout name that suited him. 

18. Jim "the Anvil" Neidhart

Real name: James Henry Neidhart

Blessed with a cool surname, Neidhart could have just settled on his real name and been fine.  But adding "the Anvil" propels his moniker to a legendary level.

Neidhart looks like an anvil: sturdy, rock hard with the ability to definitely hurt someone.  It is one of the most fitting names in wrestling history.

17. Cactus Jack

Real name: Mick Foley

Mick Foley has been known by quite a few names; Dude Love, Mankind, his real name and Cactus Jack.

Cactus Jack sounds like an outlaw from the old west that lives out in the mountains somewhere, drinks too much and laughs maniacally while he shoots his gun in the air. 

It's not too much of a stretch of the imagination to see Foley being that guy back then. 

A simple ring name that invokes images of thorns and desperados served Foley well.  I did enjoy his other personas, but this one was his coolest. 

16. "The Pope" D’Angelo Dinero

Real name: Elijah Samuel Burke

He wrestled as Elijah Burke during his WWE stint.  It's a fine name and nobody would have faulted him for sticking with it, but the name he now rocks with TNA is far superior.

There have been many men who’ve called themselves King, but Burke was the first with the gumption to call himself Pope. 

Throw in some classic alliteration with the double “d” sound and the building of a superbly cool name is well on the way. 

D’Angelo is a preferable first name to Elijah.  It reminds me of the R&B singer and rolls off the tongue nicely.  The choice of Dinero as a last name is sweet as well.

It says that he has money and he is worldly enough to know a little Spanish.

15. The Rock

Real name: Dwayne Johnson

The Rock began his career as Rocky Maivia as both a tribute to his father (Rocky Johnson) and his grandfather (Peter Maivia), and might have had a fine career had he stuck with that name. 

His transformation into the trash-talking, eyebrow-raising icon that we know now was helped in large part to the much cooler name. 

It's short, strong and conjures up the image of sturdiness.

Even as he settles into his niche in Hollywood, many folks can't bring themselves to call him Dwayne.  For them, he will always be the Rock.  

14. Sexton Hardcastle

Real name: Adam Joseph Copeland

Better known as Edge, Copeland went with the sci-fi porno name, Sexton Hardcastle, during the early part of his career.

I like the name Edge, but his first alias was dripping with cool.  A touch tongue in cheek and quite funny, it was a name that nobody would have forgotten. 

Sexton, the name for a church official who takes care of the church and the graveyard, sounds dirty in this context.  Hardcastle sounds equal parts tough and boy detective.

13. CM Punk

Real name: Phillip Brooks

Apparently he began going as CM Punk when he joined a tag team called Chick Magnets.  It stuck.

Most fans don't know what it means now, but it doesn't matter.  The name just oozes unexplainable cool.  The addition of the word "punk" has an air of defiance that he has certainly personified.

Punk claims to be an agent of change out to defy the status quo, and his ring name evokes that for sure.  It stands out. 

As a bonus, it's quite easy to chant. 

12. Ricky "the Dragon" Steamboat

Real name: Richard Henry Blood

No one would have faulted the great Ricky Steamboat for sticking with his real last name.  Blood is a dream wrestling last name. 

But he doesn't look like a Richard Blood.  Ricky is far more suited to him.  Richard Blood would be a great name for a predatory heel, the complete opposite of Mr. Steamboat.

He borrowed the name Steamboat from Sam Steamboat, a wrestler from Hawaii whose real name was Sam Mokuahi.  Steamboat sounds like a real last name that happens to be cool enough to keep.

Throw in the nickname, "The Dragon" and you have a name with a great rhythm.

11. "The Million Dollar Man" Ted DiBiase

Real name: Theodore Marvin DiBiase, Sr.

No heel is getting over with the name Theodore.  The Chipmunks have usurped that name.

You could argue that DiBiase's nickname sounds too much like the Six Million Dollar Man.  You could also argue that it was merely a homage to the TV character of the '70s.

Few wrestlers' gimmicks and names were a more perfect pair. 

10. Jake "the Snake" Roberts

Real Name: Aurelian Jake Smith, Jr.

Choosing Jake over Aurelian was the first good move.  Roberts is a bit more distinctive than Smith.  So far, so good.

Few wrestlers had their name and gimmick so intertwined.  Robert's psychological approach to matches and his dark brooding personality was very much like a snake.

Giving him that name and having him carry a python in a bag to the ring was genius.  Even if he hadn't been the excellent wrestler that he was, that name alone would have gotten him over with the fans.

His ring name was so cool that former NFL quarterback Jake Plummer was named Jake the Snake after him.

9. "Macho Man" Randy Savage

Real name: Randall Mario Poffo

Replacing Poffo with Savage was his first stroke of genius.  Poffo sounds like a clown's name. 

As for the Macho Man part, if it weren’t for that annoying Village People song, it would be even cooler.  How better to describe a wrestler than a man who is macho?

The whole package has a great rhythm and in his husky voice, Savage's name turns to gold. 

8. Rowdy Roddy Piper

Real Name: Roderick George Toombs

One of the best heels of the '80s had one of the greatest wrestling names of all time.

Rowdy is a perfect description of the Hot Rod.  He was an unruly wildman. 

Doing away with his more pretentious sounding name of Roderick, he took on a name that easily rolled out of your mouth. 

The "piper" referenced the bagpipe element of his Scottish gimmick.  Roddy suited him extremely well. 

As a whole, the name has a strong rhythm, uses alliteration and is really unique.  His name added to his aura and I'd argue helped enhanced his legacy. 

7. Hulk Hogan

Real name: Terrance Bollea

There probably wouldn't have been a lot of Terranceamaniacs.  Luckily for us, Terry called himself Hulk Hogan for the bulk of his career.

The alliteration makes the name far catchier.  And for a massive man with 24 inch pythons, Hulk is a perfect name.  His "hulking up" routine near the end of matches is reminiscent of another famous anger-fueled Hulk.

The Hulkster's career was certainly aided by a ring name that would become iconic. 

6. Kane

Real name: Glenn Jacobs

If you're going to steal someone's name and use it in the ring, why not go with the Biblical brother who committed the first murder?

Kane's persona is that of Undertaker's demented and psychotic half-brother.  Choosing an evil archetype like Abel's brother Cain is a brilliant and seemingly obvious decision.

Being so short helps his ring name too, as it makes it easy to call his matches. 

He gets extra points for having some of the darkest nicknames in the business; The Big Red Monster and The Devil's Favorite Demon. 

5. The Iron Sheik

Real name: Hossein Khosrow Ali Vaziri

Vaziri has to give credit to Ed Farhat, who was known as the Sheik before him.   It's a great name to play off a Middle Eastern background.

Of course, Farhat was from Michigan, but the concept of a rich, Syrian, wild man was fabulous.

Adding the word "iron" transforms the name from a very good to a great one.  The way "Iron" Mike Tyson sounded so much more menacing than plain old Michael Tyson, the Iron Sheik sounds much more dangerous than his predecessor. 

It sounds like a nickname a horrible dictator may earn due to a reputation for being cruel.  On Vaziri's first attempt at the gimmick, he was known as The Great Hossein Arab.

Compare that to what he eventually ran with, you can see how perfect his decision was in the end. 

4. Gorilla Monsoon

Real name: Robert James Marella

Two excellent components combine for one of the best names in wrestling history.

Choosing "gorilla" as his nickname had fans thinking of strength when they thought of Marella.  As a big man with his fair share of body hair, he did vaguely resemble a gorilla.

A monsoon is also strong as well as exotic. 

His ring name helped launch his then middling career as a part of a monster heel gimmick. 

3. Bad News Brown

Real name: Allen James Coage

The man who allegedly confronted Andre the Giant on a tour bus after he'd made a racist comment, an Olympic judoka and real life tough guy needed a name more gritty than Allen.

Bad News Brown has a great rhythm to it.  It sounds like a guy who fights in an underground boxing club. 

It's not too gimmicky either.  Its simplicity, and how fitting it was to his persona, makes it a perfect choice.

2. Abdullah the Butcher

Real Name: Lawrence Robert Shreve

How different would his career have been had he been known as Larry Shreve?

The name he thankfully went with sounds like a vindictive desert-roaming conqueror in the vein of Attila the Hun.  How fitting that a man known for such bloody matches is called The Butcher.

His ring name has a classic rhythm and matches his persona perfectly.

Lawrence Shreve from Ontario is not the least bit intimidating.  Abdullah the Butcher from Sudan, in contrast, is far more foreboding.

1. Stone Cold Steve Austin

 Real Name: Steven James Anderson aka Steven James Williams

"And that’s the bottom line, because Steven Anderson said so."

It doesn't have quite the same ring to it.  The Texas Rattlesnake went by "Stunning" Steve Austin and "The Ringmaster" before finding the perfect moniker.

Stone Cold sums up his toughness and his anti-authority attitude.  "Stone cold" is an intensifier, adding a punch to a word like "stone cold sober."

The phrase did more than that for Steve Austin's career.  As a package, his promos, catchphrases, middle fingers and butt kicking were boosted by his well-chosen name.  

I will never forget hearing Jim Ross screaming, "Stone Cold, Stone Cold, Stone Cold!" at the end of Michaels vs. Austin at WrestleMania XIV.  With any other name, it just wouldn't have been the same.