Larry's Losers in the SEC, Week 10 and the Game of the Century

Larry Burton (Syndicated Writer) Well, folks, the week that fans of the SEC have been waiting on is here. If you're an Alabama or LSU fan, you're praying for your team to pull it out this weekend for the much-ballyhooed "Game of the Century" between No. 1 LSU and No. 2 Alabama.

The other fans of the SEC will simply be either rooting for one they like just a little less than their own beloved team or for the one playing the team they simply hate and want to see lose.

Whatever, everyone will be watching.

The pigskin-picking pooch is pouting that Alabama only lets Bulldogs in the press box and then only the two-legged variety.

With ticket prices ranging from $350 to $10,000 for just one seat, I'm almost considering selling my press pass with sideline privileges and retiring here on the beach, but then they'd never let me back in, so I better be a good boy and just enjoy the game.

Last week the Florida Gators didn't cooperate with our picks and let us down against Georgia. Bacardi and I both thought the return of Brantley would spark the Gators and get them back in the win column, but it wasn't to be.

That lowered our score to 4-1 and the season stats now sit squarely at 56-10, so we could sure use another perfect week to pretty our pitiful prognostications.

So, with that in mind, here we go.

Vanderbilt at Florida

This ain't your granddaddy's Vandy team and it almost toppled a Top 10 team last week against Arkansas. This week James Franklin wants to add to Will Muschamp's misery by mashing the mud lizards and taking home another SEC win.

However, with a week to regroup, recover and rally, these reptiles recognize reality and know you can't keep a good Gator down forever. So, he's aiming to sink the Song City Sailors and make 'em Gator bait as they jump ship.

And when the cannon fire and Gator growling is all over and all the smoke has cleared, it'll be the Gators grinning.

Larry's Loser: Vanderbilt

New Mexico State at Georgia

The Aggies from New Mexico State come to the fertile fields of Georgia in hope of growing and reaping a victory in the red clay country.

However, Mark Richt ain't gonna let some soil squatters come and plant anything but their mangled bodies in his field between the hedges.

The Bulldogs will prove they don't need to sleep with even one eye open to chase off the desert dirt farmers from their patch of paradise.

Larry's Loser: New Mexico State

Ole Miss at Kentucky

Ole Miss has been an Old Mess all season long and has yet to notch an SEC win. and to do so it's willing to load up its rabble Rebels and travel all the way up to the blue grass country to try and earn that victory.

But as messy as Mississippi has managed to be, these Kentucky Kitties could hit their litter box with all four paws in the middle of it. These are some crappy Kitties.

I guess the Ole Miss cheer should be, "Thank God there's Kentucky!"

Larry's Loser: Kentucky

Middle Tennessee at Tennessee

The Blue Raiders from Middle Mountain State come to Hardknocksville for a big paycheck and a butt whipping, and Derek Dooley is all too happy to cash both of those for them.

Now, the Volunteers are counting on this for win No. 4 and they have to get two wins in the next three games to make it to the Depends Adult Diaper Bowl in beautiful downtown Keyocuck.

This is one of those games that will be just as boring as it sounds, so just let me just announce the loser and move on.

Larry's Loser: Middle Tennesee

South Carolina at Arkansas

The Carolina Cluckers have seen their chances of having a good season slip away faster than the liquor in former quarterback Stephen Garcia's drink glass this year, but they know a win against Bobby Petrino's Piggies will put them promptly and perfectly back in the hunt for another SEC East title.

However, Petrino's not going to let his Pigs get pecked by an inexperienced football flinger and a team without the big running back it ran into the ground like a rented mule (Marcus Lattimore).

In the end, the Hogs will have perfunctorily plucked the pullets so perfectly that every pig can have a new feather pillow at the end of the game.

Larry's Loser: South Carolina

Tennessee Martin at Mississippi

Another Tennessee strip mall college comes to the SEC for a big paycheck and a butt whipping, and as down as Danny's Doggies have been this season, they'll be happy to saddle these Skyhawaks with both of these duties.

Mullen's Mutts have been the biggest disappointment in the SEC this year, and at 4-4 they'll be happy to get this win and with Ole Mess on the remaining schedule, that sixth win will get them to a bowl.

However it may be the Preparation H Bowl in Soretail, La., but when you're trying to salvage something from a sad season, they'll be happy to go.

Larry's Loser: Tennessee Martin

LSU at Alabama

It's No. 1 vs. No. 2, it's a spanking past due. Les Miles brings his pigskin Pussycats up to T-Town to try and get a grip on the BCS National Championship Game by turning the Tide and leaving these pigskin Pachyderms high and dry after the game.

But the trunked and tusked Tuscaloosan's want to secure their own destiny by belittling the Bengals and send the bawling back to Baton Rouge with a big case of what ifs.

Whether this game lives up to the billing of the game of the century, it certainly will be the game the fans have waited for all season to see. There ain't no disinterested parties in this game, and every eye will be on the old boob tube on Saturday night to see how it all plays out.

The difference in this game is that an elephant never forgets, and everybody in crimson-colored costumes remembers last season's loss and wants some payback and in the end they'll have it.

Lary's Loser: LSU

Well, that's it for this week's edition, folks. I hope your team tallies the top on the tussles that'll take place this weekend. But if your favorite folks phenomenally flame out this weekend just remember what my old daddy used to say:

Winning ain't everything, but then it sure beats losing.