Hottest Sports Stories for Monday, Oct. 31
The Philadelphia Eagles don't suck, Tim Tebow does and I still have no idea if my Sexy Stan Van Gundy Halloween costume is Sexy enough.
Welcome to the Daily Radar, the scariest thing next to starting Chris Johnson on your fantasy team. Be sure to leave some spooktacular Halloween comments in the Boo section below.
Let's Dish.
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In this edition: Kim Kardashian and Kris Humphries Can't Make It Work...Tony La Russa Walks Away A Champion...Philadelphia Eagles finally decide to show up...BCS blah, blah controversy...Latest Tebow Disaster...World Series Belongs to Red Birds...David Beckham not as hot but can still ball...Hottest Damn Videos of the Day
DEREK LOWE IS GOING TO CLEVELAND BECAUSE HE IS AWFUL
If you want to maintain your sanity and never have to live in Cleveland, don't foul up your current job something fierce. Derek Lowe has been traded for a bag of cash, two chickens and a lotto scratcher.
Question on Everybody's Mind: Who won this trade?
Our Take: The Indians got another ground-ball pitcher, the Braves got rid of Lowe. Hell, I say it's a tie. The only reall loser was Derek Lowe who no has to live in Cleveland, but it could be a lot worse.
Hype Meter: 2 out of 5 Sinker Balls
Between LaRussa retiring and Kim K divorcing, there is just no room to care about Lowe being traded. Except if you are me. I care because it is pretty goddamn funny.
Related Link: Derek Lowe Traded: Why the Cleveland Indians Made a Great Deal (B/R)
Related Link: ESPN Reports on Derek Lowe Trade (ESPN)
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KIM KARDASHIAN HATES MINNESOTA
In a stunning turn of events, Kim Kardashian and Kris Humphries have decided that two months of marriage is long enough. The reality television "star" and mediocre NBA player are calling it quits, and a nation mourns the tragic end of the single greatest relationship between two D-list celebrities.
Question on Everybody's Mind: How did all this happen?
Our Take: Rumors of a split have been circulating for weeks, but what finally pushed them over the edge was her unwillingness to move to Minnesota. It's hilarious that Humphries ever thought she would choose him over her "career," but some people just aren't that smart.
Hype Meter: 5-out-of-5 Fairytale Weddings
As much as we loved to make fun of Kim K and Kris Humphries together, them apart actually gives us even more material to use against her and him. Who doesn't love a good "Kim K is too famous for Minnesota" story?
Related Link: Kim K To Divorce Kris Humphries (B/R)
Related Link: The Straw That Broke Kim K's Back (TMZ)
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Three days after winning his second World Series title as manager of the St. Louis Cardinals, Tony La Russa has decided that he can't live life knowing that Albert Pujols might not be a part of his team. He announced his retirement at a press conference early Monday.
Question on Everybody's Mind: Who will fill La Russa's shoes in St. Louis?
Our Take: La Russa is a tough act to follow for a number of reasons, but there are a few names that make sense for this team. The one name to keep an eye on is Jose Oquendo. He has been on the coaching staff since 1999. He has managerial experience in the minor leagues and knows this franchise as well as anyone.
Hype Meter: 5-out-of-5 Dugout Phone Disconnections
La Russa gets a lot of praise from the media for the way he manages games, but there were a lot of times this season when he did more harm than good to the Cardinals. He always seemed to get in his own way. A change of leadership could actually be good for this team.
Related Link: Tony La Russa Ends Historic Career Following Epic World Series Win (B/R)
Related Link: Tony La Russa Retires A Champion (Fox Sports)
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PHILADELPHIA EAGLES FINALLY PLAY FOOTBALL
The Philadelphia Eagles haven't looked like a dream nor a team in the early goings this season. Then the Dallas Cowboys showed up to treat the Eagles to a rousing victory. We fans were then given a reason to watch scary movies by halftime.
Question on Everybody's Mind: Have the Eagles (sorry) landed?
Our Take: I say yes. Their defense actually looked like it could stop another professional team for four quarters. Barring a Michael Vick injury, this team should begin to roll. We can also credit Tony Romo for apparently going as Tim Tebow for Halloween...clever.
Hype Meter: 5 out of 5 Rob Ryan Creeps me Outs
As if the NFL knew I was nursing a hangover and badly needed a nap, they scheduled some awful games in the afternoon followed by this clunker. Thanks for the shuteye, it was duly noted and much appreciated. The lack of interesting games let me watch Shaun of the Dead for the 33rd time.
Related Link: Cowboys vs. Eagles: 5 Things We Learned in Philadelphia Eagles' 34-7 Win (B/R)
Related Link: ESPN Reports on Eagles Demolition Derby on Cowboys (ESPN)
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BCS IS SILLY ... SILLY, I TELL YOU
The latest tickler from the BCS sideshow was Stanford nearly getting beat by an overrated USC team, and getting a bump because of it. That's as far as I can be interested in a sport that pays their players far too much these days. Bring on LSU and Alabama!
Question on Everybody's Mind: Did BCS get the week right this time?
Our Take: Sorta. I can hardly be asked to care about such a worthless week when the real fun is about to begin. LSU and Alabama are about to give us a real answer to the BCS power struggle.
Hype Meter: 5 out of 5 Saucy Halloween Costumes
I always try to find the humor in every situation. I can't help but laugh at Boise State who is forever destined to be the "not good enough" team in the nation. They are like the Grim Reaper failing to beat Bill and Ted no matter how hard he tries.
Related Link: BCS Standings Week 10: Who's Overrated, Underrated or Just Right? (B/R)
Related Link: Yahoo Sports Breaks Down BCS Breakdown (Yahoo Sports)
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TIM TEBOW THE WINNER GOES AS LOSER FOR HALLOWEEN
I have no idea what happened. I was told that Tebow was simply a winner and that he would always be just that. On Sunday he managed to take a big fat dumpster dive on national TV. Yay, us.
Question on Everybody's Mind: Will Tebow ever be the man?
Our Take: No. He won't. But the good news is that I can feel the interest in Timmy Tebow waning already. We may be a hater nation, but it's no fun to pick on the helpless. That's just mean.
Hype Meter: 4 out of 5 Teb-o'-lanterns
It's finally time for Tebowites to recognize that Tebow was one helluva college football QB but is more punching bag than accurate passer with the big boys. The talk will now center on what to do with Tebow. Next comes the discussion on whatever happened to that guy Tebow.
You Took Words Out of My Mouth Tweet Award:
Related Link: NFL Week 8 Winners and Losers (B/R)
Related Link: ESPN Begins the Fall of Tebow Discussion (ESPN)
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BASEBALL LEAVES ANOTHER HOLE IN SPORTS WORLD
Last week delivered an amazing set of games that culminated in the underdog St. Louis Cardinals winning the World Series Friday night. By Monday morning, we will have had a couple days to digest the gut bomb that was the Fall Classic.
Question on Everybody's Mind: Did the World Series save baseball?
Our Take: The ratings for game 7 were tubular, but they will hardly save the game. Bud Selig has to get over himself and allow this game to reach the 21st century. If people can watch the NFL games we saw on Sunday and not be scared away, there is hope for baseball's resurgence.
Hype Meter: 3 out 5 Tim McCarver is Silents
The real item, of note is that another sport is taken off the docket. It's all NFL and NHL from here on out. Without the NBA, you can expect to get filled to the brim with football talk. Like my fifth plate at Hometown Buffet, I will eat it, but I don't have to like it.
Related Link: MLB Playoffs: Ranking the Cardinals and the Last 10 World Series Champions (B/R)
Related Link: USA Today Reports on Cardinals Love Sweeping St. Louis (USA Today)
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MLS PLAYOFFS REALLY KICKOFF...GET IT? KICK OFF...BECAUSE THEY USE THEIR...NVM
Here's the thing. My mother used to shove vegetables down my throat because they were "good for me." It's precisely the reason I am now calling child's services on her 25 years later. Like my momma and veggies, I am giving you a dose of something good you may not want any parts of...I don't care.
Question on Everybody's Mind: Fine...What's the MLS playoffs you speak of?
Our Take: You can leave the sass at the door, and the MLS playoffs really kicked this Sunday as star-studded L.A. Galaxy took on wild-card winner New York Red Bulls. David Beckham and Thierry Henry featured and decided to dress up as zombies from the Walking Dead.
Hype Meter: 1 out of 5 Tell me Watcha Want Watcha Really Really Wants
The Galaxy took a 1-0 win against the Red Bulls in the first leg then a fight broke out. Concentrate on the fight breaking out after the match. Now consider the two teams will battle again for the whole burrito on Thursday. Also note that Landon "Landy Cakes" Donovan called New York the "dirtiest team" in the MLS. But that's just because he is a total clean freak.
Related Link: NY Red Bulls Lose 1-0 to LA Galaxy in First Leg of Western Conference Semifinals (B/R)
Related Link: Yahoo Sports Tells You All You Need to Know on Cracking Match (Yahoo Sports)
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DAILY FUN WITH MOVING PICTURES
We have come to our daily portion of awesome videos that you have to see to be accepted at the cool kid's table at lunch.
TYLER THIGPEN IS JUST TOO DAMN ADORABLE
Cute as a button back-up quarterback Tyler Thigpen was all ready to go in for Ryan Fitzpatrick on Sunday. That's when he got slammed in the head with a football. Sit down silly.
Related Link: Tyler Thigpen Video: Watch Bills Backup QB Get Hit in Head with Football (B/R)
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THAT'S JUST MEAN. FUNNY, BUT MEAN
Stephen Tulloch sacked Tim Tebow and followed it up with a Tebow pose. Tebowing swept the nation, circling back and arriving at Tebow's front door. HIGH-Larious.
Related Link: Stephen Tulloch Video: Watch Lions LB "Tebowing" on Tim Tebow's Turf (B/R)
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MARQUEL WADE IS KIND OF AN ASS
Marquel Wade laid down the hit of the weekend when he leveled a defenseless Jonathan Krause who never touched the ball. Like a little kid acting up in Target, Wade was taken to the locker room by the scruff of his neck...then possibly spanked.
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PERCY HARVIN HAS ANGER ISSUES
Percy Harvin got into a scuffle this Sunday on the sidelines. The only problem was that he was on the wrong sidelines. Harvin is a bad bad man if he has no problems mixing it up in enemy territory with no Viking in sight.
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Until Tomorrow, Have a Happy Halloween and...Blucher!
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